Welcome to London, Love
by cullenite21
Summary: Bella's attending Oxford. When she gets locked out of her dorm hall, someone comes to save her. This gorgeous someone happens to be her new roommate. How will she survive the year? BXE, EMXR, CXE, AXJ.
1. Chapter 1

"We will be landing shortly. Thank you for flying London Airways, and enjoy your stay in London," the recorded message played over the speakers of the plane and I sighed. I was certainly happy to have been accepted into Oxford, but I would miss Forks, no matter how rainy it was.

I got up from my window seat, waiting for the person next to me - Mike something, I think - who had been flirting shamelessly with me for the entire flight. As I stood, my head bumped on the ceiling.

"Ow," I muttered. This was normal. I had always been uncoordinated, clumsy, and a complete klutz altogether.

Mike moved from his seat, glancing back at me wistfully. He had been accepted into Cambridge, but I bet he was wishing he was going to Oxford now. Honestly, I couldn't see why, but it was sweet. In a creepy, stalker-ish way.

Okay, maybe it wasn't so sweet after all....

I went into the aisle to grab my luggage from the overhead compartment. I saw that my small, beaten up, white-patched up suitcase was at the back. My bad luck had struck again. I looked to my right to see a relatively tall stewardess

helping someone.

"Excuse me," I said. She turned with a warm smile. "I can't reach my suitcase. Could you help me please?" I asked, blushing one of my easily-triggered blushes.

"Of course, dear," she said with a kind British accent. Reaching on her tip-toes, she grabbed my bag and stood it up on the floor.

"Thanks so much," I said gratefully.

"It's no trouble," she said, smiling at me again and turning back to the other passenger she had been helping before.

Pulling up the handle, I towed my suitcase behind me, hitching up my carry-on messenger bag higher on my shoulder. I hadn't brought much with me, even though I would be going to college here. I didn't have many clothes, and my Macintosh computer was the only thing I could afford to buy for college. And it was refurbished.

Charlie Swan, my dad, was the police chief of Forks. Not much criminal activity happened in Forks, so I was raised without much money. It was fine by me. Renee Dwyer, my mother back in Phoenix, was a kindergarten teacher, so it

wasn't like I could go ask her for something. I had worked in an outdoor sports store, one of the few after-school jobs. I had been lucky to score it.

I shook my head, clearing it of my memories. Stepping out of the plane, I smiled a little. I was really here. In London. Attending Oxford. Maybe I'd actually make something of myself here. Unlike in my high school, where barely anyone talked to me, except the boys who, quite frankly, should have been in a retirement home. All the boys were in polos, khaki shorts, and sometimes _loafers_. I mean, what sane kid wears _loafers_ to _school_? Even if I didn't care about fashion, I could tell that was _way_ out of fashion. Maybe not for 50-year-olds, but a 17 year old junior? I don't think so...

I was jostled a bit on my way out of the airport, but nothing major. Stepping out of the glass sliding doors, I beamed. This was it. London. Oxford. Everything I had always wanted to become a writer, and it was happening. I was so happy. For once, I didn't care about the mounds of homework I was sure to receive, or the dorm hall I was sharing with 5 other students, or that I would probably not make a lot of friends. This was London, and I was going to Oxford.

This would be great.

The taxi that had been driving me to Oxford stopped suddenly at the gates, and I let go of my death-grip on the seat. I had kept thinking we would crash because, in my American mind, we were still going the wrong way.

" 'Ere ya go, love," the taxi driver said in a raspy, southern Britain accent. "That'll be sixty pounds."

_Which would be one hundred twenty dollars... I think I just felt my wallet lighten _I thought. I gave him the money wistfully. It would be hard living in a place that doubled American dollars. I'd be out of cash soon; I'd have to find a job nearby.

"Thanks," I said shakily, still afraid of the road. That'd take a while to get used to.

I shut the cab door and got my luggage from the trunk. As soon as I shut the back, the taxi sped away, indicating that it was free.

I sighed and turned around on the sidewalk, facing the ominous buildings in front of me. They didn't look dark or gloomy in any way, just the air around them gave me an odd sense of premonition. I shrugged and pulled my luggage toward the building marked "Administration". I still needed my key and the map of the college. No way was I going to try navigating this place by myself...

I entered the administration office and placed my luggage by the door. Walking the short distance to the front desk, I saw two blond young women.

They were both 50% plastic if you ask me...

"Can I help you?" the one with a boy's cut hair asked lazily in a nasally voice. Her nameplate said Lauren...

"Um, hi," I said, blushing. "I'm the new student with the scholarship. My name's Bella Swan, and I need my key. I'm staying in hall 103."

They both gaped openly at me. Lovely.

"_You're_ the new student?" Jessica asked disbelievingly.

"Um...yeah?" It came out more as a question.

The two receptionists shared a conspiratorial look.

"Sure, sweetie," Lauren said, suddenly sickeningly-sweet. "I'll be right back with your key. You'll be rooming with the Cullens and Hales. Jessica will show you which hall it is and how to get there." Lauren left to get the key.

Odd... but I didn't have time to think; Jessica was already coming toward me with the map and a highlighter. It was like my first day at Forks High all over again, only Ms. Cope was nicer....

"Here you go," Jessica said, giving me the map. "Now from here you'll take a left and..." I tuned her out. She was already highlighting the route and her voice was like listening to nasally helium. It was about to give me a migraine.

"All set?" Lauren asked, coming out of the back room.

"Yeah! Just showed her the route and gave her the map," Jessica said, her lips twitching.

What was up...?

"Well, here's your key," Lauren said, giving me my dorm key, hall key, and a little leather inscription of an _O_ on a brown leather charm on a keychain across the desk. "Enjoy your time here, work hard, and come here if you need any assistance navigating around here."

"Thanks," I mumbled, heading for the door. Something wasn't right, but I couldn't tell what...

I was barely outside when I heard the two receptionists giggling uncontrollably.

"Cullens and Hales my-" the door closed then. Good.

I followed the directions highlighted on my map. At about halfway, I noticed the sky getting darker, and I sighed. It would rain soon.

I tried to block off that unpleasant thought and plugged in my iPod, putting on Coldplay's newest album, _Viva la Vida, _on shuffle.

_Life in Technicolor_ came on when I finally found my hall. I sighed with relief, it hadn't started raining yet, but the sky told me it would soon. I took my time looking around. There were some trees-wait, scratch that. There was practically a forest here. I looked again to see half were rotting... well. Great. I saw a few potted plants...also dying. I sighed and walked up the 5 steps and a little path up to the door, taking time to look at the busy street down below.

Yay. I could wake up to horns honking. I sighed again. Suddenly, I felt something on my cheek. It was drizzling, and it would become rain soon. I could tell because the drizzle wasn't one of those things you could barely see. It was the kind where it was almost rain but it wasn't.

The old building was dark, as in no lights were on. Maybe the Cullens and Hales weren't home... there weren't any cars in the drive.

Walking up to the door, I put my hall key in the key slot.

Or should I say, _tried_ to put my key in. It wasn't a match. Lovely. I either had the wrong key or the wrong hall. I looked up: 156.

What the hell? Shouldn't that receptionist know what she's doing?

I looked at my key. Maybe Lauren had screwed it up, too.

Sure enough, my hall key was 143 and my dorm room-I was supposed to be in room 5- was for room 2.

Ugh. You'd think Oxford would hire better people. Maybe they were interns...

I groaned. It was raining already and no one was home. And I couldn't very well go and ask someone for directions when everyone was at home and I had no idea where the hell everything was...

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. Maybe the rain would go away. As soon as I though this I opened my eyes just in time to see lighting.

Well this was just fantastic.

I unplugged my iPod and put it in my worn messenger bag, not wanting to get struck by lighting. With my already bad luck, I was possibly in one of the worst places ever. Surrounded by trees and carrying two metal items. Could this

get any worse?

My question was answered for me by nature herself. Thunder clapped loudly and the rain became an absolute downpour.

Yes. Yes it could.

I shook my head. I was already soaked, I might as well sit it out. I sat down on my suitcase and clutched my bag to me, hoping my essential and expensive items-like my computer and wallet-wouldn't get wet.

Around twenty minutes later I was soaked to my skin and on the verge of either a complete emotional breakdown or blind rage. I took another deep breath and let it out, closing my eyes and willing the storm to go away. Sometime during this exercise, thunder clapped loudly again and I jumped.

Ugh.

Ten minutes later and I was on the verge of hypothermia. I was freezing and I had nothing but a jacket, long-sleeve-tee, and jeans. I shoved my hands in my pockets. Nothing.

I huddled into a ball as well as I could while still sitting down.

About three minutes later I looked up and saw nobody. Still.

Another two minutes. No one. Sigh. No one was coming to look for me, because the two people who knew I was here had probably done this as a joke, and the Cullens and Hales... well. I wouldn't judge them now. I hadn't met them.

I sighed, letting a few tears escape. Some way to begin my freshman year of college. Anyone with better luck that me wouldn't have to have endured this.

Two minutes later and I was on the verge of just walking randomly around campus. I couldn't get much wetter than this, could I?

And then I saw him.

He came from behind the hall, holding a large umbrella, towing a medium-sized dark brown suitcase behind him. He was wearing a beaten up pair of un-tucked brown converse and dark jeans that weren't skinny but weren't

completely baggy either. His button-up shirt was long-sleeved and forest-green. He was wearing a form-fitting running jacket and was carrying a sleek grey messenger bag.

But his obviously-designer clothes were not why I was staring at this stranger.

His face was strong, yet soft at the same time. He had a strong jaw line, strong cheekbones, and and angled nose, but did not look like he would have a snobbish attitude. His bright emerald eyes looked soft, and his lips weren't overwhelming, but weren't thin, either. He had long legs and a long torso-he was at leas 6 feet tall. His hair was the most unusual shade of brownish-red, almost with a metallic tint.

He was so beautiful I couldn't breathe.

"Um... what are you doing?" A melodic voice-surprisingly un-accented-snapped me out of my thoughts. The gorgeous stranger was now standing in front of me, looking down at me curiously.

And now I looked like a complete psycho, sitting randomly in the downpour. Wonderful first impression, Bella.

"Uh... I was supposed to be rooming with the Cullens and Hales, but the receptionists gave me the wrong route and room key. Do you know if they're home?" I asked, blushing and stuttering stupidly.

He looked at me amusedly for some reason, but as soon as the emotion passed on his face, it was gone. "Yeah, I'll show you where they live," he said, having the decency not to look at me like I was a mental patient. I stood up, soaked. Ugh.

"Do you need any help with your bag?" He asked kindly. Not waiting for an answer, he reached down and stood my bag upright, wheeling it next to his.

Gorgeous _and _a gentleman. Sigh. He probably has a girlfriend already...

"Thanks," I said, blushing. Again.

"How long have you been out here?" he asked, eyeing me concernedly as we started walking.

I didn't want to tell him. He'd think I was an idiot.

"Um...." I stalled. Then, I made the mistake of looking up into his beautiful emerald eyes. I was dazzled into saying the truth. "About thirty minutes."

"Are you serious?" he asked, completely disbelieving. Suddenly, he stopped in his tracks. I stopped, too, and looked at him questioningly.

"Did you say the _receptionists_ gave you the wrong information?" he seethed through his teeth. The anger in his voice sounded out of place; even though I knew nothing about him, he didn't seem like he was sad very often.

"Um...yes?" I said, making it sound like a question.

He sighed, closed his eyes and took deep breaths. We stood there for a moment, underneath the safe haven of the umbrella.

"I am so sorry," he said after a few minutes. "I can't believe they went this far."

"Umm...Okay? What are you sorry for? You don't work there with them," I was so confused.

He sighed again. "I'd tell you now, but you're about to freeze to death. I'll show you to your dorm hall. C'mon," he said, surprising me by taking my hand and leading me.

As soon as he touched me, however, a spark flew up my arm and I had to stifle a gasp. I wondered if he felt it, too.

My question was soon answered for me, when he dropped my hand quickly. "Sorry," he mumbled, turning away.

I blushed and looked down, focusing on his feet.

After a few minutes he stopped and I looked up.

We were in front of a gorgeous brick building, just above a main road-which I assumed led to a main street of some sort. I looked up to see six floors-one per window-and I stared for a minute while the gorgeous Greek god fished around for something in his pocket.

"Come inside," he said, ushering me in. "You must need a hot shower."

I nodded gratefully and then something occurred to me belatedly. I looked up quickly to see that this was indeed hall 103.

"How did you have a key?" I asked, stepping inside either way. The living Adonis closed the door. Through the window that took up most of the door, I saw the downpour clearly. How had I been out there all this time?

I turned back to the gorgeous man, who was smirking. "I'm your new roomie. My name's Edward Cullen," he said, offering me his hand. I shook it weakly, in shock. Make that three things. Gorgeous, a gentleman, and my new

roommate.

Two things passed through my mind at that moment.

One: I would be living with this beautiful man for a whole _year_. How was I expected to do _that_?

Two: How was I this _lucky_?

**AN: Soooo... I have been mulling over this story for awhile in my head. I literally have half of this thing planned out. I was randomly sitting in my room, staring out my window when I was really bored one day, and I was listening to Coldplay (what a surprise :] ) and then one of the main parts of the story hits me lightning-fast. Of course I listen to that song whenever I want inspiration for this story now :)**

**Tell me what you thought!**

**Review plz! :)**

**-cullenite21**


	2. Chapter 2

I had to remind myself that I was still talking to Edward. Even if he was my new roommate-my incredibly gorgeous, polite, new roommate-he probably had a girlfriend here or back at home, wherever he was from.

His eyes were staring intensely into mine, and looked a little glassy for some reason. "Um...h-hi," _oh real smooth there Bella_, "I'm Bella Swan."

Edward blinked three times. Suddenly, we both seemed to realize that we were still holding hands. I had somehow been able to ignore the strong electric current that was running freely and forcefully through my veins. We both

dropped our hands, looking away awkwardly.

"Um... so I'm staying in Room 6. I only have my key but you can use the shower in there if you want," Edward offered.

Another thing to add to my mental list: Gentleman, gorgeous, roommate, and _sweet_!

"It's fine," I said, not wanting to intrude in his room. "I can wait until one of the girls comes."

"I insist. I'm not going to let you catch a cold a week before classes," Edward said firmly. "I'll show you upstairs."

"Um...Okay?" I said hesitantly. It didn't look like he would take no for an answer. "Thanks."

"Of course. Plus, _I _don't want to get a cold the week before classes," Edward said teasingly. I narrowed my eyes playfully. So he was easy-going, too.

Suddenly, he grabbed my bag and started climbing up the stairs. I was about to protest when Edward turned around and smiled crookedly at me.

Oh, god that was beautiful.

"Don't even think about demurring with me Bella," he said, chuckling a little. I pursed my lips but went up the stairs and started walking up next to him. I started to think.

Demurring. Huh. So he obviously got into Oxford for his brains, and not his evident wealth. Unlike _some_ people. Coughcouch LAUREN AND JESSICA coughcough.

I stopped myself mentally. Maybe they really did make an innocent mistake. Then I thought back to the words I had overheard as I exited. '_Cullens and Hales my-'_

Okay so maybe it wasn't a mistake. I sighed. Like I had a chance of fitting in.

"What's wrong?" Edward asked softly next to me.

My mental list got longer: concerned, but not in the overly creepy way. More like the way that said 'if you want to talk, I'm here.' Wow this list was getting long.

I hesitated. I felt his eyes on the side of my head. I made the mistake of looking into his emerald eyes again. I was dazzled into telling the truth.

"I was thinking about Lauren and Jessica. If everyone here is like that, I don't stand a chance."

He stopped suddenly and closed his eyes frustratedly. He sighed, and the sound came harshly from his lips. Harsh, but still beautiful.

"Look, I'm really sorry about them. This is my first year here, but I can assure you, no one besides them are snobby or arrogant. When I visited my brother here last year they got sight of me and started talking to me. It was more like a one-sided conversation, but they didn't seem to see that. Emmett, my brother, has the most horrible sense of timing, and he came to get me away from them after an hour," Edward shuddered. "So I'm guessing that they just didn't want any competition." Suddenly, his cheeks tinted a mild pink.

I blushed darker than him; much, much darker. What was the right response to that?

Thankfully, I wasn't forced to think too much about it, as we were now outside his room. "Um, yeah, this is my room," he said awkwardly as he opened the door.

I stifled a gasp.

His room was absolutely amazing. The opposite end of the room was entirely made out of glass, like a window wall, with a small wrought-iron table and two matching chairs; the styling was reminiscent of a small Paris cafe. To the east was his bed, with a very modern metal bed frame. There were a few stairs to the left of the bed, leading up to a very modern and sleek kitchen. The center of his room had a glass and metal coffee table, with two white couches facing it. There was also a TV cabinet that was completely open and very abstractly-modern. On the west wall of his room, a giant cedar bookcase filled with music, and next to it was a state-of-the art stereo system. Behind it, a small keyboard was vertically aligned with the wall. Next to the bookcase were two doors, one of which, I assumed led to the bathroom.

I let out the breath I had been holding.

"It's beautiful," I breathed, and then blushed, knowing what I had just said.

"I'll be sure to tell my mother," he said, smirking. "She designed the whole thing."

I couldn't say anything, still stunned by the room. Suddenly, I remembered how wet I was and rushed to get my bag. I couldn't drip too long on the dark wooden floors or they'd rot. I'd feel horrible about that...

"Thank you so much for this," I said as I reached for my suitcase.

"No problem. The bathroom is through that door" he said, pointing to the first door next to the bookcase. He sat down on one of the modular, white suede couches.

I wheeled my suitcase into the bathroom, and turned to close the door. I flicked on the light, and locked the door. I turned around.

I gasped softly.

Edward had a gorgeous, en suite bathroom. It was painted a vivid red color-strikingly different from the neutral tones of his bedroom. There was a large counter at the other end of the bathroom, and a glass walk-in shower. The floor was white marble, but the floor of the shower was an earthy stone.

I could only hope that I could somehow pull together the money to furnish my room to be a quarter as good as Edward's.

I set my suitcase on the floor, kneeling beside it and opening up the zipper. I had to tug forcefully, but it finally started to open. Thankfully, the clothes on the bottom of my suitcase hadn't gotten damp like the ones on the bottom. I grabbed my bag of toiletries-which currently held only travel sized things- and my clothes. Seeing as I would probably be meeting my other roommates soon, I chose something that would be formally casual. Dark blue skinny jeans, a red t-shirt, and a half-sleeve, cropped black leather jacket. Stripping my clothes off and putting them in a heavy, damp pile next to the shower, I stepped into the shower and turned it on.

God, even his shower was amazing! The shower head was very wide and the streams of water came down softly.

After taking a short shower-I didn't want to run up his water bill even if the shower _was_ amazing-I stepped out, grabbing one of the white fluffy towels from the hanger. It was pure heaven against my tired muscles.

I stepped out onto the marble, being careful to dry my feet on the mat outside the shower. It would be tempting my already bad luck to walk across marble with wet feet. Drying off quickly, I slipped on my clothes and zipped up my bag,

putting the wet clothing in a front pocket. Turning off the light, I stepped out and marveled once more at the amazing room.

Apparently Edward was marveling at something else. His eyes were once again glassy and his mouth was parted slightly.

I remembered suddenly that I did not have my room key. I sighed. I'd have to go face Airhead one and Airhead two again.

The sound snapped Edward out of his trance and he blinked rapidly.

"I have to go get my room key, do you mind if I borrow your umbrella?" I asked dejectedly. I didn't want to go face their stupidity. I wondered if they'd be stupid enough to not notice that I already knew what their problem with me was...

"Not at all. In fact, I'll go with you," Edward said, rising from the couch and placing his red iPod nano on the coffee table.

"That's fine. You don't have-"

"I want to," he said firmly. "I need to go there anyways."

I would have asked why, but thought better of it when I saw the fire in his eyes, making them dark green, hostile orbs. I wondered why...

"Okay," I sighed. "Let's go."

**AN: Sooooo.... yayy! I'm proud of myself for writing this in less than an hour :D Well... maybe a little more. But time flies so quickly when I'm writing! I looked at my clock: 2:32. I look again: 2:49. I look again: 3:30!!! Seriously it's awesome :)**

**Enough of my random writing ramblings... on a side note I got the twilight soundtrack yesterday :D It's sooooooooooooooooo good!!!! I had already heard Bella's lullaby (b4 the movie-thank you youtube :] ) I'm addicted to the song "Go All the Way" by Perry Farrel. Especially the 'la la la la la' etc. part. I know, so immature, but it's awesome :) **

**SUPERMASSIVE BLACK HOLE!! AHHH i love it! And they did a really good job placing the songs in the right places in the movie... hahaha i laughed when i saw "La Traviata" on the soundtrack. And Flightless Bird, American Mouth is SUCH A GOOD SONG!! Ahhhh and both Paramore songs... and Rob Pattinson actually has a **_**voice**_**. Like a non-conventionalized voice. How often do you see that??**

**U know what? Instead of giving a (very) long review on each song from the album I'll just say this: The whole thing rocks. :D**

**Thanks to all the people who reviewed my first chapter-you all made me smile :D I appreciate all of your lovely, kind comments. Thanks a billion :) Actually... thanks a google. Go look it up **_**on **_**google (lol) it's a real number :D**

**Review plz! :D**

**-cullenite21**


	3. Chapter 3

As we walked outside again under the sanctuary that was Edward's blue umbrella, I began to think.

My mind wandered to the other people I would be living with that year. Edward had said his last name was Cullen... so his brother must be named Emmett Cullen. And then the Hales. I wondered what they would be like...

In all honesty I was just trying to not focus on the amazing person next to me. It wasn't really working...

"So Bella," Edward suddenly said, a little awkwardly. "You're going to be my new roomie-don't you think we should learn some things about each other?"

He was right. Besides the attraction I felt for him I knew it would be awkward living that close, and not knowing much about the other.

"Uh.. yeah," I agreed. "What about twenty questions?" 

"I was about to suggest that," Edward said with a grin. "You go first."

"Ok. Um... why were you reading 'Tales from the Aenid' a few minutes ago?" I asked the first question that popped into my head.

Edward smiled. "You caught the title, huh? Well, in all honesty I picked the first thing from my bookshelf, but the first time I read it I was reading it for a school project. Where are you from?" He asked me.

"The rainiest and smallest place in America-Forks, Washington. You?" I asked.

"Huh. I'm from Seattle. What a coincidence, I've been to Forks, in La Push with my school," Edward smiled. I was in shock. This god had lived two hours away from me.

"What's your favorite color?" Edward asked me, breaking me out of my thoughts.

"Green," I blurted without thinking. Then, blushing furiously, I added, "Though it changes from day to day. What's yours?"

Edward had a small smile on his face. Realizing I'd asked him a question, he answered, "Brown," he smiled a little wider, "or dark blue."

I nodded indifferently, though internally I was beaming.

"What's your favorite sport?" Edward asked.

I busted out laughing. Edward looked thoroughly confused, so I decided to tell him what I thought was so funny.

"If I played sports," I said between giggles, "the entire population within a five mile radius of me would be either severely injured or killed."

Edward nodded understandingly. "Not much of a sports person, I take it," he said as we stopped at a crosswalk. I shook my head no.

"Not at all. But what about you? What's your favorite sport?"

"Football, or swimming. Oh, and of course baseball." He nodded enthusiastically. "My whole family loves baseball."

"That's fun. My dad loves _watching_ baseball, but my step-dad is a minor-leaguer."

"That's nice," Edward smiled. "Okay, back to the game. If you don't play sports, what do you do for fun?" Edward asked curiously.

"Hmm....I'm not much of a night-person, so no clubbing...mostly I read. Lame, I know, but it finally paid off when I got this scholarship," I said, shrugging indifferently. "So what's your birthday?"

"June 20th, 1990. You?"

"September 13th, 1990. Favorite TV Show?"

"Hmm...well if you asked me that thirteen years ago, I'd say Scooby Doo....now? Scrubs, House, Monk. All that kind of dramedy stuff. Favorite movie?"

"Romeo and Juliet. The 1969 version," I answered without missing a beat, albeit with a blush. That was by far the best movie of all time. "What did you want to do when you grew up?"

"I wanted to be an astronaut... So original, I know. How about you?"

"I wanted to be a writer. I guess that happened," I said, giving a small laugh. Edward smiled at me and my breath caught in my throat.

"Consistent. That's cool," Edward said thoughtfully. "I have a feeling you'll get along with Jasper, at the very least," upon seeing my confused look he added, "Jasper Hale. He's one of the new roommates. I met him when I visited Emmett." I nodded. "So, Bella, are you into music?"

"Of course, just not normal teenage music. I'm not into whiny emo boy bands, more...classic stuff," I said, blushing. Edward would think I was a freak.

"What do you mean by 'classic stuff'?" Edward asked, his eyebrows furrowed with a small smile on his face.

"Well...I'm more into Debussy than anything else. Though, I must admit, I have no problems with Linkin Park."

"Whoa. Same," Edward said, shocked. My eyes went wide, and I could feel my cheeks heating up. "I think you're the only person I've ever met who actually _knows_ who Debussy even is."

"It's really sad how his name has been lost over the ages," I agreed. Edward nodded. "Do you play any instruments?" I asked Edward, getting back to the game.

"Yeah. I've played piano since I was six. You?" Holy crow. Six?

"Um, no," I said blushing. "Makes me feel kind of inadequate at the moment."

"Please don't," Edward said softly, stopping to look into my eyes with a smoldering expression. "I can play the piano, so? I didn't get a scholarship to Oxford. Do you know how much harder that is?"

I couldn't respond, I merely looked down and blushed. I'd never been complimented much by people. Suddenly, I felt two cool fingers underneath my chin, prying my face up. I looked up involuntarily, somehow feeling an electric pull towards Edward. His face was a mere two inches away from mine. I could feel his cool breath on my face. I blushed with the distance, but didn't try to look away. I was mesmerized by his shining green eyes, which, now that I was looking closer, had shimmering golden flecks in them. So beautiful.

I felt myself lean in involuntarily. Again. But not only that, I felt Edward lean forward too... One inch... half an inch... our lips were about to touch when a shrill honk from a car made us jump back about three feet away from each other.

Damn it. Well, at least he wouldn't feel guilty later, about cheating on his girlfriend.

Wow, this was gonna be awkward. We walked a few more blocks in one of the most awkward silences ever until, thankfully, the Administration building came into view.

We opened the glass doors and entered the warm building. And there they were. Though I certainly wasn't thankful that they had made me wait a whole frickin' half hour in the rain, I was thankful that they had gotten me to Edward.

Who, I reminded myself, I would have met either way.

Okay, so now I was mad again.

"OMG did you like see like his face on like this new like Cosmo mag? Tooooootally like hottttt!" Jessica babbled drawlingly to Lauren, shoving a magazine in her arms.

"O...M....G.... he is sooooooooo hot," Lauren said, oblivious to our presence. "Though he like couldn't even like.... what's that word called? Compike... compall...compin...? Ughh... what_everrrrr_."

"Compare?" I asked lazily. God, I knew that was probably really arrogant but come _on_. Compare? Was she serious?

"Yeahhhhhh... compare...thanks," she said, totally dismissing our presence. Wow. "Yeah...but he _totally_ couldn't like compare to like Edward," I saw Edward twitch and I had to stifle a laugh. What would they say next?

"OMG," Jessica drawled. "You are _totallllllly_ right," she said, looking up at Lauren in a follower-like admiration. "I mean... seriously. Remember when he like visited? He was _soooooo_ like checking us out. Like, who wouldn't?" They giggled nasally and I couldn't help but laugh quietly. Except, instead of laughing _with _them, I was laughing _at_ them.

"OMG," Edward whispered quietly, imitating their squeaky voices, "did you like _seeeeeeeeee_ him on that movie poster? _Soooooooooooo_ hot. Oooh but he's _nothing_ compined to Edward," he said, swooning mockingly.

"Way to be cocky, Edward," I teased him quietly, though I was sure the two receptionists couldn't hear us over their drawled talking. Edward rolled his eyes.

"Let's just get this stuff over with, so that we don't end up with five brain cells like these two," he said, jerking his chin toward the desk. I nodded fervently, idly wondering how on earth these two graduated college...

Now how to approach them.... Well, at least Edward was here. Actually, because he was here, they couldn't give a crud about me right now. Alright. I'll direct this to him then.

"Edward," I whispered to him. "I'm gonna leave this all up to you, 'cause they're not gonna be paying attention to me. Good luck," I said with fake cheer. His eyes were nervous. Either way, he trudged to the front desk. I decided to stand next to him, just incase it might deter the two from being too forward.

And, y'know, I kind of _did_ want to be near him...

"Hello," he said, impeccably polite. If he was like that to these two, he must be polite to everyone... "She needs keys. As in actual keys this time please." I noticed his eyes darken a tad.

Lauren's eyes widened and she swallowed noticeably.

"S-sure," she stuttered. Must've been dazzled... or scared...

An awkward moment later, she retuned, and handed me my keys. I double checked them this time; I didn't want to face them again. Thankfully, she'd gotten them right, so I headed to the door. I would've head out, but I saw Edward talking in a low voice to the receptionist. Their faces looked scared as hell, so I decided to ask Edward later.

After a few minutes, Edward walked toward me, silently grabbed his umbrella, and together we went outside.

More awkward silence ensued until finally, at the third crosswalk, I couldn't take it anymore. I had been thinking of the way I had felt the electricity hum between us when we were about to kiss, how good it felt, how I wanted to feel it again and again.

What it would feel like if I kissed him.

For those reasons, I had to know something, and I had to know it right then and there.

"Do you have a girlfriend?" I blurted out in a rush, unable to contain it anymore. I blushed, but didn't back down.

Edward turned slowly to me, his eyes showing the fear of my mentality; what he wouldn't say out of courtesy, of course.

"No," he said slowly. "Any particular reason for asking...?" he asked, his eyes now alight with cocky mischief, a small, smug smile on his face.

I blushed furiously. "No," I lied weakly. Naturally, Edward saw right through it. But, as usual, he had the courtesy not to say anything.

"Well, Bella, because you seem to be in a blunt mood, I'll ask you the same. Do you have a boyfriend?"

If possible, my blush deepened. I looked down as I mumbled, "No."

"Well then, beware Alice and Rosalie." I looked up at him curiously, despite the blush that was still heating my cheeks. "Alice is my older sister, and Rosalie is Jasper's fraternal twin." I nodded in understanding.

"What are Alice and Rosalie gonna do?" I asked.

"Knowing them, they'll probably go all around campus with you, and point out every guy they think is worth for you. That may easily take a day, and lots and lots of blisters," Edward said, surprisingly nonchalant.

"Did they make you do that to find a girlfriend?" I asked.

"Yes. It was painful," Edward said bluntly.

I said nothing, but looked at him apologetically. He shrugged. "They couldn't find anyone, actually," Edward said. "And that must've been a first for them."

"They do it often?" I asked, surprised.

"Only with people they really care about, like friends or family. Actually," Edward said suddenly. "They should be at the hall by now."

I smiled weakly. Hopefully they'd like me, as they all seemed to love Edward.

Then again, who wouldn't?

After a few more blocks, we finally reached the hall. Using my newly acquired keys, I opened the hall door and we entered the lit, heated building. I heard a low chatter down the hall, and then a deep, rumblingly deep laugh.

"That's Emmett," Edward said as he shrugged off his coat quickly, and then gently removed mine. I blushed lightly and thanked him quietly as he hung them up.

"Are they all in there?" I asked, a bit nervous.

He looked out the door's huge window. "Yeah. Look, there's Alice's car, Rosalie's, Emmett's, and Jasper's Ducati," he said, excitedly pointing to a flashy yellow car, a shiny red convertible, a monstrous, dirty red Jeep, and a very, very expensive-looking silver motorcycle.

"Great," I said with not as much enthusiasm as I should have. Edward looked confused for a moment, before quickly asking me if I wanted to go meet them.

"Yeah," I said. We walked down the dimly lit mahogany entry hallway, and Edward stopped at the last door to the left.

"This is the student lounge. It helps that we all know each other; it's less awkward," he said, chuckling. I smiled a little and Edward opened the door.

**AN: OMG. I am SO SO SO sorry for the long wait. I could get into a bunch of details, but long story short, I had suckish internet. Again. And then a bunch of people came over for the holidays. And when I **_**could**_** get to my sacred laptop, half the time some person or other would come and read over my shoulder.**

**I **_**hate **_**it when people do that. So, naturally, I was on iTunes the whole time. ^_-**

**I promise I have more, and it WILL come out today. I swear if I have to spend the last minutes of 2008 writing for FanFiction, then I will.**

**Or, y'know, you might get a spanking new chapter for a 2009 present. :)**

**Thanks so much to everyone who's stuck with the story, reviewed it, put it on story alert, everything. This will be updated more often, I promise. I have virtually the whole thing planned in my head :D it made me kinda sad though, like I'd already finished....**

**at least I get to type it now :)**

**Review plz and have a happy new year!**

**-cullenite21**


	4. Chapter 4

A chorus of harmonious voices chimed "Edward!" and before I could do anything, a ball of black, white, and a streak of yellow flung itself at Edward, and they fell to the plush carpet floor.

"EDWARD!" A high female voice yelled. "HI!"

"Hi Alice," Edward said, chuckling as he rubbed her spiky black hair. Quickly, Alice swatted his hand away.

"No," she growled. I blinked. Did she seriously just growl?

Edward laughed. He seemed to enjoy being around his friends and family. "Everyone, this is Bella," Edward said, gesturing to me and introducing me warmly. "She's our new roommate."

"HI!" Alice shrieked, flinging herself at me. Suddenly, I found myself on the floor, and a pair of cool arms were wrapped tightly around me, hugging me. I uncertainly hugged Alice back.

"Oh my God! We're gonna be BEST FRIENDS! I'M SO EXCITED!!" Alice yelled. Before I could respond, I saw Edward come over and try to get Alice off of me.

"Easy Alice," he said amiably. "She has to get through the rest of the introductions." Alice nodded and got off of me, pulling me along with her. She was strong, obviously.

"Whoa whoa whoa," a large man, with biceps and forearms as big as my head, though with contrasting friendly chocolate curls, said. " 'Get through' the introductions? Well Edward, I'm surprised you think so lowly of us."

"Emmett," so that was what his name was. It fit him. "Bella. Bella, Emmett," Edward said, gesturing to us.

"Hiya Bella!" Emmett boomed, leaping over to me and picking me up in a gigantic bear hug. Apparently hugs were a huge deal in the Cullen family.

"Emmett," a melodic voice like fluttering wind chimes sounded through the air. "She can't breathe. Let her go."

"Fine," Emmett whined. I couldn't help but laugh at his antics. Emmett shot me a grin, his eyes alight. He seemed fun, like Alice. I could tell I'd be able to get along with them.

"I'm Rosalie," a gorgeous blond stepped forward and gave me a soft hug. I hugged her back, her tall frame at least five inches taller than my short-ish five foot four inches. Rosalie had long blond hair, reaching down to her mid-back, and she had a long, lean body, though with curves in every place a model payed thousands for.

"And that's Jasper," Rosalie said, pointing to her fraternal twin. Jasper came over and hugged me. He wasn't as outgoing as all the others had been, but it didn't feel completely awkward. More...calm, in a sense...

"Nice to meet you Bella," Jasper said as he pulled away, a very small hint of a southern dialect peeking through in his voice.

"Nice to meet you all," I said cheerily, happy that everyone had accepted me into their group so warmly. I was so relieved that I wouldn't have to spend four awkward years with people that I couldn't relate to at all.

"Bella, I absolutely love your outfit!" Alice said.

"And here it comes..." Edward muttered under his breath.

"It is so adorable!" Rosalie agreed.

I gave them a weak smile. "Thanks," I said.

"You know, we really should go shopping for our rooms tomorrow," Alice said thoughtfully.

"IKEA!" Rosalie shouted joyfully.

"Hate to burst your bubble, Rose, but the closest Ikea store is about three hours away from here," Jasper said.

"And your point is....?" Alice and Rosalie said. Obviously, they would travel the ends of the earth to shop...

The three boys sighed in resignation, while Rosalie and Alice clapped merrily.

"YAY! Okay, so I think we should all partner up now, so that tomorrow we can head out at five and not be worried about anything!" Rosalie said gleefully.

"Five in the morning?!" I asked, blushing when the spotlight was put on me.

"Uh...yeah," Rosalie said with a 'duh' tone.

I sighed inaudibly. I _did_ need furniture, but Ikea was gonna be _way_ over my budget. Yet another reason to get a job.

"Do you guys know if there's any nearby jobs around here?" I asked with a sigh.

"Why?" Rosalie asked.

"Long story short, I need money. Do you know if there's a job at like a fast-food place or something?" Maybe I could get some free food while I was at it...

"There's a job at the coffee place down the street. But you don't have to worry about money, silly goose!" Alice said, laughing merrily. "I'll get you your furniture."

My eyes widened. "I couldn't let you do that," I said, shaking my head. "My room isn't that big, I'll just get less furniture."

"Bella, your room is as big as a normal Starbucks. Let me get you furniture. _Pleeeeeeeeeeease?_ It'll make me _reeeeally_ happy," Alice said, giving me the best puppy eyes I'd ever seen.

"I get to pay for half," I bargained.

"Deal," Alice said happily. "Okay, so I think all the girls should go shopping with each other...you know what. Nope. Then the boys will have ugly, ugly rooms."

"Esme already furnished mine," Edward piped in. Esme must be his mom...

"Fine then. Jasper, you can go with Rosalie, and I'll go with Emmett. Edward you can go with Bella, because you've seen your room enough to know what a fairly decent room would look like. And, of course, before ANYONE buys ANYTHING, they will check with either me or Rosalie..._right_?" Alice said menacingly. We all nodded nervously.

"Good! Now how about dinner? I'm starved...." Alice trailed off.

"FOOD!" Emmett bellowed like a child. We all shook our heads and headed to the phone to order some take-out.

Fifty minutes and nine pounds later (**AN: As in british currency... I have no idea how to get that sign on my comp. so when i mean pounds as in weight... i'll let you know :) lol ok back to the story...**) we were all sitting around the cozy fireplace that was in the far left corner of the room, munching on chinese food. (**AN: If there isn't chinese in England please let me know... I don't remember from when I went...**).

"So Bella, how was the flight over? You lived in Washington, right?" Alice asked as she reached for a spring roll.

"Yeah, in Forks. The flight was fine, but there was a really annoying guy sitting next to me. I was gonna sleep but every time I tried, he'd start flirting with me. Oh well. At least he's all the way over at Cambridge..."

"Ugh. I totally feel for you. I can never sleep on flights because of one perv or the other," Rosalie said, spearing some orange chicken onto her fork.

"So, how big is this place anyway?" I asked hesitantly. I'd have to spend one of my free days sometime this week familiarizing myself with the campus...

"Not really sure," Alice said thoughtfully. "But I know it's huge. Like 'you-can-get-yourself-lost-if-you-don't-have-your-coffee-in-the-morning' kind of huge."

I groaned inwardly. I didn't want to walk around all day, but I'd have to if I didn't want to embarrass myself for the next few years. Or maybe I'd have to get myself a map...

"Well then, I guess I'll spend the next few days getting settled with the campus," I said.

"You shouldn't do it alone, Bella!" Alice cried. "But Rose and I already are going wardrobe shopping for you and us the day after Ikea... and Emmett and Jasper are gonna come help us with the bags... Edward! Yes, you can go with Edward... how about tomorrow night at five? Not many people are here yet, so you can see everything uninterrupted after Ikea! Perfect. Okay then. Rose did you see the new Prada sandals on the cover of Vogue Italia?" And so

Rosalie and Alice delved into the unintelligible world of fashion.

Unbelievable. Alice had practically just set me and Edward up on a date tomorrow at five. For god's sake she didn't even know I liked him! I'd have to talk to her about this when everyone went to bed... I had a feeling she was a night person.

Edward's face was similar to mine. Slightly widened eyes, furrowed eyebrows, pursed lips. We were both thinking of the same thing...well. I was thinking about how Alice knew that I liked him, and he was probably trying to figure out a way out of this...

Jasper was the first to turn in, claiming he'd flown the entire day and was beat. We wished him a goodnight, and he told us that he was in room three if we needed anything.

We all talked for a little while more, and soon Emmett decided to turn in, saying he was in room two. We bid him goodnight and continued to talk.

At around eleven thirty, Rosalie decided to go to sleep, saying she was in room four if we needed anything. We bid her goodnight as well, and soon it was just Alice, Edward and I.

"Wait, Edward you said Alice is your older sister. How is that possible if she's a freshman, too?"

"We're all adopted," Edward answered me.

"Esme and Carlisle, our parents, had always wanted a big family, but Esme can't have kids," Alice said indifferently.

I felt extremely nosey then. "Oh," was all I could quietly say.

"It's fine Bella, you don't have to feel bad about asking," Alice said. "Edward and I were adopted when we were two, and Emmett was three by then. We don't remember anything about our old families. All I know was that I was born in Biloxi."

"And I was born in Chicago, and Emmett was born in Concord," Edward finished.

"Wow," I said, unable to say anything else.

"Yeah...well, I'm beat. Goodnight!" Alice chirped. She skipped up to the door and suddenly turned around and said, "I'm on this floor, if you guys need anything," and left.

This was awkward. Though at least I could have the excuse of being tired...

"So, um, I guess I'll head to bed then. We've got a huge day tomorrow," I said.

"Yeah. Alice is an uncontrollable force of nature at a store that big. I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Yeah, uh see you tomorrow," I said, heading for the door. "Oh, Edward?" I said on a whim, turning around to face him.

"Yes?" Edward said, turning around.

"Thanks for finding me today. I'd hate to think about what would've happened..." I trailed off.

"No problem. Goodnight."

"Goodnight," I said, closing the door.

I headed up the stairs, all the way to Edward's floor to get my bags, and then down one set of stairs to my floor: level five.

Opening up my door, I wheeled in my bags and closed the door. Looking around at my room, I saw that Alice was right. My room was huge, as big as Edward's, and, unfortunately, unfurnished. Not even a bed. Joy.

Well, there was a couch in the lounge. I could get changed and sleep down there. Not like there was much of a choice. It was either that or sleep on the floor. The wooden floor.

Yeah, I'm thinking couch.

I padded into the bathroom and changed into fluffy black pajama pants and a white Hanes tee-shirt.

Not taking care to look at the view from my room, telling myself I'd see it tomorrow, I walked out the door, leaving it unlocked, and down the stairs.

Thankfully not meeting anyone on my way down, I quietly opened the lounge door again, reveling in the sound of no creaks, and made my way to the couch that was on the far right side of the room.

Now that no one else was in here, I marveled at the architecture of the room. There were high ceilings, and the north and east wall were covered in large, rectangular column-like windows. The walls were painted in a deep red, blending in with the mahogany colored couch and the black fireplace. The view from the windows in the east was a gorgeous view of the rest of campus, and even a little of the city outside it. Apparently, we were quite close to one of the entrances. The view from the north was of trees, flowers, and anything else botanical. Needless to say, it was beautiful. I noticed a path farther up north, wondering where it lead to...

Shaking my head, I reminded myself that I could barely walk over a flat surface, let alone a trail. I walked over to the couch and lied down on the surprisingly warm leather.

Oh _this _was _comfortable_! I sunk deep into the couch, but not like 'help-I'm-about-to-drown' deep. The heat from the fireplace spread around the room and I was grateful, because I didn't have a blanket. I made a mental note-to-self to get to that coffeehouse tomorrow and ask for a job. There was no way I'd be able to afford the next month here without one...

I snuggled deeper into the couch and fell asleep instantly.

The next morning I was greeted by a hyperactive pixie.

"Wakey wakey Bella!" Alice yelled, clad in a light green tee shirt and blue sweatpants that cinched halfway down her calf, bouncing at the other end of the long couch.

My eyes snapped open and I instantly rushed to cover my ears.

"Alice," I groaned. What time was it? I looked up to see the sun barely rising over the horizon.

"It's five in the morning Bella! The others were too wimpy to wake up at four thirty, so I kindly let you all sleep in half an hour. So here!" Alice said, shoving a box of chocolate cereal in my face. "Breakfast, and then we're getting you a mattress! I _told_ you to come to me if you needed anything, Bella." Alice said, her tone going softer. "Why didn't you?"

"Because you were already asleep. I was fine last night, don't worry," I lied as I stretched out. The couch was comfy for an hour or so sure, but obviously I didn't move and my limbs were cramped and sore.

"Don't lie to me Bella. One needs their beauty rest," Alice said seriously. "And you obviously did not get it. Thankfully, you're already gorgeous, so you don't need any help there, but still." I blushed at her compliment.

"Eat!" Alice said, pointing at the box of cereal and handing me a spoon. I shrugged and opened the box, grabbing a mouthful.

I heard muttered noises from the door and looked up to see a _very_ tired Rosalie, sporting striped pink and white pajama pants and a yellow tee shirt, practically crawl through the door, grumbling incoherently. Suddenly, in the middle of the room, she collapsed.

"Rose!" I said, alarmed.

"Don't worry," Alice said indifferently, going back to her cereal. "That happens a lot. She's so tired, she'll find a random spot and go back to sleep. Only one way to wake her up," Alice said determinedly, hefting herself up from the couch and walking over to Rosalie.

"Rose," Alice started out calmly. Nothing.

"Rosalie," Alice said. Again, nothing.

"Rosalie," Alice said, her voice suddenly lowering to match Emmett's. Rosalie smiled a bit in her sleep.

"Rose, babe, you gotta get up," Alice said, keeping up the charade.

"I do?" Rose mumbled. Whoa.

"Yeah. Otherwise how're we gonna do all those things together?" Eww.

"Hmmm...okay," she acquiesced, slowly dragging herself up from the floor.

"Mmmm...Good morning Emm-AHHH!!!" Rosalie shrieked.

"Good morning, babe," Alice laughed, her voice returning to normal. Alice started toward the couch, deftly stepping out of the way when Rosalie attacked her from behind...without even looking back. I looked at Alice questioningly as Rosalie picked herself up from the floor from her missed attempt.

"I'm psychic," Alice said nonchalantly as she plopped cross legged back down onto the couch.

I shook my head and reached to pat Alice's spiky hair when she gave me a look that challenged me to do it, to see the consequences. I drew my hand back slowly.

"My true love is my spiky hair. Don't mess it up," Alice said seriously.

"And Jasper, of course," Rose said as she giggled, plopping down between Alice and I. Alice's cheeks tinged a light pink.

"Shut up, Ms. I-Only-Wake-To-The-Sound-Of-Emmett," Alice said defensively.

"Fine," Rose grumbled.

"How 'bout you Bella?" Rose asked suddenly. "Edward was looking at you last night."

"Ooh, what's going on there?" Alice asked curiously.

"Nothing," I mumbled, looking down and blushing.

"Argh! Look, you'll have plenty of time to bond with him today. Car ride, Ikea, and he's showing you around campus today. Thank me later. Oh, and by the way, I already picked out your clothes."

"Alice! I was going to talk to you about that. What were you thinking?! Setting me up on a date with him when he doesn't like me and I d-" I stopped.

"Don't just leave us hanging Bella!" Rose cried.

"Nghh...What's with all the noise?" Jasper asked, his natural southern accent more pronounced, as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes. His hair was sticking up in random places, and he was wearing a white cotton tee-shirt with blue striped pajama bottoms. I could see why Alice would like him.

"Ikea!" was all Rosalie said before diving into the chocolate cereal, past topic completely forgotten.

Jasper groaned, but walked over to us, snatching the cereal from Rosalie, ignoring her protests, as he sat next on the floor in front of her. Alice merely admired Jasper from afar, and I made a mental note to give her the push to ask him out.

Then, as we were all laughing at a joke made by Jasper's early morning oblivion, Edward came in.

His red-brown hair glinted in the sun's rays and was in more of a disarray than normal, random strands sticking up everywhere, his brilliant eyes shining in the early morning sunlight.

"Hey," he said, his melodic voice thick with sleep. He was wearing a tight black tee-shirt that showed every amazing muscle possible, and grey sweatpants with the word **Redskins**__in red capital letters on his left leg.

"Hey Edward," Rosalie said in between munching the cereal, the name of which I had just noticed: Count Chocula. (**AN: Have actually had this cereal...of course I went searching for it after I finished Breaking Dawn.... lol. don't know if it's in **_**england**_**... if someone knows please tell me...? thx :] **).

"Hi Edward! Is Emmett gonna be up soon?" Alice asked cheerily.

"Yeah, just pounded on his door about a minute ago," Edward said as he took a seat beside me and reached over me to snatch the box of cereal from Rose. I, of course, blushed. That's probably gonna be a normal occurrence for me this year. I couldn't help it! When he reached over, his muscles flexed... oh god. His muscles weren't flashy but man he was no stranger to the gym...

Before I could delve to far into my imagination, I was saved by a loud crash, and then a cuss from Emmett.

"Yeah, that was probably Emmett falling down the stairs," Edward explained to me. I nodded. Apparently Emmett wasn't much of a morning person.

The door suddenly slammed open and we heard Emmett. "GOOD MORNING WORLD!" Emmett, dressed in navy blue shorts and an orange shirt with the word **Wildcats** in black capital letters, boomed as he walked poshly into the lounge, beaming.

"Good morning to you, too, dimwit. Now shut up," Jasper grumbled as he snatched the cereal from Edward.

"Well!" Emmett said snobbishly, "I can see Jasper obviously woke up on the wrong side of life today! Does someone need a _hug_?"

"No, I don't need a damn hug. I need coffee. Coke. Soda. Something with caffeine!" Jasper snapped.

"Fine," Emmett snapped back. "Though, as I do recall, it was _your_ coffee machine that was supposed to be making everyone's lives easier?"

"Well, as I do recall, I'm not gonna pay twenty frickin' dollars for a coffee machine to be transported from the US to the UK!"

"Alright! Everyone calm down," I said, unable to handle the loud volume this early. "We'll buy coffee on our way to Ikea, okay?"

"Fine," Emmett said, his attention already diverted. He stole the cereal from Jasper's clutches and reached in, taking out a gigantic handful. I took the cereal from Emmett's clutches and yawned. It was _way_ too early.

"Well then, because we've obviously finished the cereal," Alice said as she shook the empty box a few minutes later, "everyone go get dressed and meet us down here in ten! Shoo!" She said, waving us off as she sprinted for her room.

Ten minutes later, I was waiting at the door with Jasper, Emmett, and Edward. I was wearing what I deemed comfortable: grey sweats and a white tee. We'd be shopping all day, nonstop, and if Alice was anywhere _near_ as hyper as

she was normally in a store as big as _Ikea_.... Well. That just speaks for itself.

Emmett and Jasper were wearing lightly faded blue jeans, Jasper's ripped at the knee and splattered with paint, Emmett wearing the same sports tee as before, and Jasper wearing a red _TEXAS_ shirt. Huh. So that's where he was from...

Rosalie bounded up to us suddenly in grey skinny jeans and a red and black tye-dye tee shirt. Her hair was in pigtails and she was clutching a sky blue wallet.

After about five more minutes, Alice emerged from her room wearing blue denim capris and a purple tee.

"Let's go!" Alice cried excitedly. Everyone, excluding Rose of course, groaned and resignedly opened the door to our doom.

(**AN: SHOPPING AT IKEA.... and car rides [both of them. like the way there and back]... I'm writing a one-shot on this so look out for it on my profile within about a week or so...**)

We exited Ikea, clutching about fifty receipts and laughing at the memory of Emmett watching the little machine that pounded the chair. He had stood behind it saying 'Ouch!' in a squeaky voice every time the machine hit the chair. Emmett had repeated this process for about thirty times, making many small children laugh, many parents roll their eyes, and about five salespersons give us looks.

We agreed to meet back at the dorm, but before I could get back into Edward's car, Alice and Rosalie pulled me aside and said:

"Meet us in Rose's room as soon as you get back. The time has come...'

**AN: CLIFFIEEEEE!! What a wonderful way to end the year :D Don't worry, I'm quickly becoming addicted to writing, so expect MANY more chapters next year :D**

**I hope all of you have a wonderful new year! Thank you so much to all of you who wished me the same, and of course, reviewed my last chapter :D **

**I'm so proud of myself for getting out TWO chapters in one day :D Consider it your belated holiday present/new year present.**

**Thank you all for reviewing/reading/sticking with the story! you all rock!**

**HAPPY 2009!! I'm off to celebrate... :)**

**Review plz!! :)**

**-cullenite21**


	5. Chapter 5

I walked nervously up to Rosalie's room as I entered the building, the other two girls trailing me inconspicuously. The three guys had left to go get food, most likely pizza or something. We hadn't yet found a grocery source close to us; I'd have to search for one tomorrow.

I climbed up the stairs nervously and opened Rose's door silently, taking time to appreciate the marvelous room in front of me. Red walls with white stripes in the formation of the UK's flag. I wondered where the blue was as I looked at the huge room, the huge kitchen up stairs in the upper left corner smelling slightly of coffee, a half eaten bagel sitting on the counter.

The door slammed suddenly and I whipped around, clutching my racing heart.

Oh.

It was just them.

"Ooh, her hair looks gorgeous, all poofed up like that!" Alice commented as she fluttered into the room.

"I was just gonna say. Maybe some more fluffing, but like, barely, because with what you have for her it would completely throw it off. We're not going for a photo shoot look, so some hairspray and-"

"Natural makeup, I agree completely. Pink lips, barely a touch of mascara and-"

"Smoky eye makeup, yes. Maybe wavy with-"

"Curled tips? Mmm... It'd be hard to mix with the volume. Perhaps-"

"Just the styling, curl it ourselves, of course. Yes, that'll work. Dark, light, mysterious, open, alluring, demure. Contrast, but not too much. Brilliant," I watched as Rose ended the strange conversation; their hands had been flying everywhere, describing to the other what they were thinking.

"Okay, Bella, sit!" Alice commanded, drawing out two garment bags from Rosalie's bathroom, a shoe box in her other hand. I dragged myself to the chair at the foot of Rosalie's bed and sat.

"No no no no no no! Not _there_," Alice said, rolling her eyes as she obviously questioned my mental capability. Heaving me up, she lead me quickly to a bar stool in the kitchen.

"This is only temporary, of course," Rose said quickly. "God knows I'd be devastated without a makeup counter."

God.

Whatever happened to natural beauty?

Twenty minutes later and I was primped and 'beautiful.' Right. I had to admit, they had done a good job, but I could never be _beautiful_. Not with two supermodels right next to me.

Rose scolded me when I told her this.

"Bella...what's your full name? It won't sound good if I don't use your full name."

"Isabella Marie Swan," I said automatically, wondering why on _earth_ I just enabled her.

"Isabella Marie Swan, if you do not stop thinking those ridiculous things this _instant_, I will personally see to it that you are seated in front of a mirror for a full day until you _believe_, truly _know_, that you are beautiful. Know it in the center of your bones."

With which I had blushed and quickly scurried into the bathroom and changed into the outfit one of them had picked out for me. It was an off white thick strapped tank top with a dangling black bow at my neck, by ... Zac de la Versace? God knows how many names Alice and Rose tossed around when discussing hot fashions. The matching skirt was of a pleated, sturdy cotton material and black on the hemline, the rest a simple, white color. There were blotches of black all over the skirt, and, according to Rosalie, it was purposely there.

I just thought maybe the designer spilled ink over the drawing and sent it in, but whatever.

Coming out of the bathroom, I came face to face with a pair of strappy brown ankle boots, about one inch tall. Surprisingly, this did not bother me, as Renee had gone on a huge heel craze when I was fifteen, and insisted that I did as well. For the next three months, my only shoes were one inch slip on heels. Painful? Yes. Handy for... well, dating, only, I suppose, but yes. Yes it's handy for dating.

Wordlessly, I took the dangling heels and slid them on. Standing up, I steadied myself, but then was able to proudly walk across the room, where Alice was waiting, impressed. A small denim jacket was in her hand, along with a small, deep red clutch, the square silver clasp gleaming in the lights of the room.

"Your ID is already in there, along with emergency essential makeup. Oh, and your class schedule, because, although you guys are gonna be focusing on _each other_, you still need to know your way around," Alice stated, handing me the bag. I took it, glaring at Alice and about to protest when I looked above the door at the roman numeral clock. 5:59.

Holy crap, was I unprepared. I shut my eyes and took a deep, (what I hoped was) calming breath, and looked again.

6:00_, _and four sharp raps on the door alerted me of Edward's presence.

"Make him fall for you, Bella!" Rose whispered, pushing me to the door.

"We're _friends_, Rosalie! This is a _friendly outing_!" I whispered back harshly, yanking the door open before she could argue. Because my point was true.

Unfortunately.

I shut the door quickly, looking down at Edward's skillfully hand drawn white Converse. When I finally _did_ have the nerve to look up at Edward, though, I blushed, finding him staring back at me, and fought the instinct to look back down again. I took time noticing his black jacket, the grey shirt underneath, his black slacks adding a touch of formality.

A crooked smile blinded me for a second, until I realized Edward had caught me staring.

Damn. I need to work on this _friends_ thing. And being discreet. That, too.

"Hello," he greeted me, his salutation rolling off his tongue silkily, whispering gently to me, asking me, daring me, to catch his words in my own mouth.

Dammit Bella! Friends!

"Hi," I said, chuckling nervously. Yeah, fantastic cover, I know. I swallowed thickly, forcing my quickening breath to slow. I tried to speak, but words were quickly becoming a privilege more than a right. All that emerged from my mouth were noiseless spurts of air. Edward's eyes danced with amusement.

"You look very nice, Bella," Edward told me murmured, sincere. My already heated fuchsia cheeks turned dark. I uttered an almost inaudible, feeble, "thank you," and, once again, resisted the urge to hide my face behind my hair. I knew he heard me, because he smirked and gestured that we should start walking.

"So, er, how big is Oxford, exactly?" I asked as we walked into the brisk evening air four floors below Rose's room.

"Well, if you were being literal, which I assume you're not and you're just asking about our campus, the answer is the entire world."

Whoa. That made me feel small. Insignificant. "Wow."

"Makes you feel kinda small, doesn't it?" Edward asked, looking at me knowingly.

"Very," I said, feeling awkward when no conversation passed between us for a few minutes, until it became unbearable for me, and I tried to break it.

"So, um, tell me why you came here. What are you in for?" I asked him timidly, jokingly, looking at him through my eyelashes.

Oh, god, that was a bad joke. Oh, god, oh god, oh god. Great job, Bella. Fantastic. Why can't you be frickin' normal, dammit!

Luckily, Edward had the decency to chortle at my lame attempt at humor. "I came here to try to become an editor."

"Oh, that's cool. My friend in high school just about-" whatever I was going to say got drowned out by my stomach, whining impatiently for food. Well, growling, really.

God, someone kill me now. Maybe Edward's really my hired assassin. Maybe that bush over there has someone hidden in it, sniping me out. Please?!

But no. Instead, Edward laughed good naturedly and beckoned for me to follow him to the right.

"Where are we going?"

"To feed the lioness within you. C'mon, there's a really good cafe a few minutes away."

I hung my head in embarrassment, staring at the pavement with my heated face.

"Y'know, the view up here is a lot better," Edward said, prying my face up. Where he touched, a tiny spark of electricity shot up to my brain.

Yeah, if you hadn't noticed, the friend idea flew out the window about twenty minutes ago.

I said nothing, simply looking straight ahead. Thankfully, the cafe was just in front of us now, and I entered gratefully, taking in the lovely warmth and thick, delicious smell hanging around us.

I looked up at the small, handwritten menu hanging from above the cash register.

Wow. Espresso for £1? Not too bad. Combos for £3. A sub and a medium coffee?!

This was heaven.

" 'Elo dearie," the elderly woman from behind the register spoke. "What can I get you today?"

"Um, hi, can I get the BLT sub and a medium espresso?"

"That'll be three pounds, love."

Crap. Alice had done this intentionally, I knew it. Leaving me with no money so Edward would have to pay. Before I had a chance to panic embarrassingly, Edward came to save me.

"Can you double that order, please?" Edward's velvet voice spoke politely from beside me, smiling dazzlingly.

The kind lady looked flustered, which was odd and amusing in a strange way. "Of course. S-six pounds, please."

And, of course, Edward pulled out two bills and handed them to the woman, while I cursed Alice and Rosalie internally.

A few minutes later we were both seated outdoors, watching the sparse traffic and munching on the best BLTs in history. Once in a while, we'd make random conversation, but nothing ever substantial. This could've been because I was absorbed in my own thoughts about how this was turning out to be more and more of a date and less and less of a friendly outing. We hadn't even gone around campus yet.

Ten minutes, and I was nearly finished with my sub.

Twenty minutes, and I was draining my coffee.

Twenty five minutes, and I was frickin' losing my mind. This was so silent!

Darkness had fallen, the street lights had long since flickered on, and the cafe had been getting more and more dinner customers. How long could our silence go on? It wasn't something I was very willing to test out.

"So, um, you mentioned you were from Seattle," I started out weakly. Note to self: never start conversations. "What's it like there?"

_Well done, asking a question about your own home state. Best way to start, captain obvious._

"Windy, rainy, cloudy. It's Washington," Edward laughed, and the sound was like golden bells ringing in the midday sun. "We've got a huge, pointy needle. The whole thing is completely overrated."

"I was always to scared to go up whenever my dad wanted to."

"Well, Bella, you don't go _all_ the way up."

I rolled my eyes pointedly. "No, of course you do. I had an irrational fear of heights back when I was thirteen."

"How about now?"

"Well, it's better now, because I can go on airplanes, but before I couldn't be five feet above the ground and not freak out."

"I bet you could go up to the top of the Space Needle now," Edward challenged me.

"Is the view nice? I'd need some sort of motivation."

"Wonderful. It may be a tourist attraction, but it's certainly one for a reason."

"Well then, when I visit home, I'll have to go see it."

"Who knows, maybe I'll be there too," Edward said, smirking, making me hope that he might possibly like me? Maybe?

No Bella. He has a girlfriend. I'm pretty sure... "And of course, Emmett will want to 'touch the big pointy thingy' as he so eloquently put it when he was twelve," Edward added.

Shoot the previous idea to hell: now.

I laughed, albeit admittedly a tad forcibly, and then all was quiet once more.

That was about, what, two minutes of conversation? Sad, really, that I couldn't hold a longer discussion.

I needed something to discuss with him, dammit! Anything! Fish in _Sweden_ for God's sake! I'd discuss NASCAR if it interested him!

Yet more and more minutes passed, silently, needless to say. This was even more depressing, because I at least wanted to be able to _talk_ to the person who I liked.

Why couldn't there be anything to discuss?! Think Bella, think, you read the newspaper... three days ago. Things can't change _too_ much in three days, right?

Right?

"So, erm, did you see that story about the Beijing fireworks?" I asked stupidly, stumbling over words for absolutely no reason. (**AN: Yes, I know this happened a few days ago, but imagine it happened the day after Bella got to London**)

"Yeah! Imagine, two hundred forty one rooms in a five star hotel just gone instantly. That must have been horrible for the architect..."

"I bet..."

Well. Didn't that just work out fantastically. Another minute. I needed something _deeper_ to dig into! To...

Yes.

To _debate_. There must be _some_ view he had differently than I did!

"So, democrat or republican?" I asked, hoping this would lead somewhere.

"Democrat, only rarely is a good republican running for any position."

Well then. Next.

"Mac or PC?"

"Mac, definitely."

Umm.....

"Cats or dogs?"

"Never been much of an animal person, but dogs have always been my favorite."

Was he a mind reader or something?!

When he saw that I did not have more questions, Edward smirked. "Interrogation done so soon?"

I intended to make a witty comeback, my mouth open, when a shirtless male jogger passed by our table, effectively cutting off my train of thought.

No one could compare to Edward, I was pretty sure, but... wow. This man had the tannest skin I'd ever seen; like the color of coffee beans. He had wide, murky blue eyes, like the color of the bottom of the ocean. His inky black long hair was put back into a sleek ponytail, rising and falling with every long stride he took. Long because he was at least six five. And, of course... the, ahem, shirtless view wasn't too bad either.

As he ran by us, he turned to give me a smile, and I barely noticed the piece of paper that fell in front of me. And I guess the only accurate way to describe this smile is like so: ever see one of those entirely fake commercials for dentists? You know, where they have people come in and give a smile so wide you know it's been stretched out digitally? Their teeth so white you need sunglasses?

Yeah.

It was one of those.

Personally, I'd never really been a fan of them, thinking they were too flashy, but hey. He seemed nice enough.

I turned back to Edward, surprised to see his normally calm eyes stormy and furious.

At a jogger?

"Edw-" 

"You done?" he asked brusquely, interrupting me.

What the hell? Beside the confusion and shock I felt, I also felt sadness begin it's familiar route up to my eyes.

No. C'mon, Bella. No need to _cry_, right?

Right?

"Um, yeah, I guess," I muttered confusedly, looking down at the table.

I heard Edward's iron chair scrape across the cement and I stood up quietly, stuffing the piece of mysterious paper into my bag when Edward wasn't looking. And, instead of walking beside him like last time, I simply looked down and followed his feet back to campus.

And this time, his fingers didn't lift my trembling chin.

* * *

EPOV (**AN: because you guys are amazing to stick with this, you definitely deserve a treat. and also because i'm trying this out :) **)

One little twitch and my legs would be leading me back, sprinting to find the person I didn't even know, yet felt an antagonization toward so strong it blinded me.

How _dare_ he?! I was encompassed by the rage I now felt, so much so that I felt burning, fiery hatred in the center of my bones.

I'd be the first to admit, things were not exactly going perfect before, and I was undoubtedly overreacting. This was completely irrational and stupid. I was scaring Bella, I had seen it in her surprised eyes, and I'd scared myself as well.

But not enough to stop.

I could not contain the... infuriation, the maddening irritation that I now felt, walking back to campus with Bella's shrunken, dejected form behind me.

I _knew _I should care about that. I _knew_ I should stop this ridiculous act. I _knew_ that I should just calm down.

I _knew_, but I could not _act_.

Nor could I describe these feelings. I knew this was way beyond rage, a thousand miles beyond fury. My mind tried another: jealousy?

No, I didn't think... I mean it couldn't have been...

Was I jealous of an unknown person? A meaningless piece of dust? Just another stone in the lake?

_No, I'm infuriated and jealous because _I'm _another stone, too. We're both equally up for auction_.

I sighed, some of the maddening rage leaving me. I needed to calm down, I knew that. But when I stopped at our hall, waiting for Bella to catch up before I unlocked the door, waiting to explain, I was shocked to find that she already had her key out, ready to put in the lock. As she brushed past my frozen form, my heart panged when I realized there were tear stains running down her creamy face.

"Thanks," she mumbled, barely audible, more tears hanging from her eyelashes, Bella not meeting my pained eyes. She stepped inside, leaving the door open. I heard her heels click sharply up the first set of stairs and then practically sprint the remaining four.

I couldn't even think of bad enough things to call myself. I just went inside and slumped by the stairs, letting my head fall into my hands.

**AN: Ho-ly crow do I feel like a bad author.**

**I not only haven't updated in a month and a half, but I feel like this chapter isn't one of my best :( Thank goodness for president's day tomorrow, after my homework it's straight back to my computer to type some more! Of course, now is the time where I apologize profusely for my long absence, and promise another update.**

**Ahem: I AM SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SORRY!! i hope EPOV kinda sorta made up for like, 1/100th of the horribleness....unless i did a bad job :( please please PLEASE let me know about EPOV especially!**

**next update is tomorrow! again, thanks to all my readers/reviewers, you all rock!**

**Review plz!**

**-cullenite21**


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: Okay, this may be a little confusing, but this is how the chapter thing works: This chapter is chapter one from EPOV, and the next chapter will bring us to the 'friendly outing' in EPOV, then after that, it's back to BPOV and her reaction... **

**I strongly suggest listening to Coldplay's 'X & Y' whilst reading this chapter. It's the album I was listening to for this :) Enjoy!**

**P.S. Longer AN below...**

EPOV

Could this be more irritating?

I was currently in front of the hard maple desk, my hands had a death grip on my luggage, trying to not lose control.

In through the nose....out through the mouth.

I forced a smile before continuing, "Hall _one hundred three_, room _six_. I need keys, a schedule, and a map, _please_." They already knew my name.

In what was a exceptionally bad attempt at allurement, Lauren, _again_, smiled up at me. "Are you _positive_, Eddie? Is that _all_ you need?"

My nostrils flared and my mouth pressed into a thin line. I had been dealing with this for about twenty minutes too long. How was that possible?!

I closed my eyes and took another deep breath, one of about thirty that I'd taken while I was here. "Yes."

Oh god, now she was trying to look innocent. Pfft. "Alright then, well, I'll just go and get them," Lauren said, standing up and biting her lip.

I ran a distressed hand through my dark red hair again, undoubtedly making it stick up. Alice and the others would be arriving in a couple of hours, I still had to call Carlisle and Esme, unpack. Sleep.

"Alright then, here you go," Lauren said, snapping me back into the present. Making sure to touch my hand, which repulsed me to no end, she handed me the things I'd asked for countless times.

"Thank you," I said, trying to regain the gentleman within me that I knew I was.

"Come back if you need _anything _else, darling," Lauren drawled.

Right. Time to go.

Without another word to encourage her, I turned on my heel and sped out of the room.

The sky was dark and ominous, and it was raining slightly, bringing heavy air that hung around my head thickly.

I paid no heed to the sidewalks; Emmett had already shown me the way millions of times. Without realizing it, I took one of the back ways that he'd shown me before, and soon my suitcase was stuck in the mud. Frustrated, I yanked it out and wheeled out from under the overhang from a deserted hall, feeling my beaten up Converse squish noisily.

Before I could get oriented though, I was shocked beyond belief.

A woman, beautiful beyond description, was sitting on her suitcase, head in hands as she shuddered in her curled up form. She was soaked through, making it seem like she'd just swam across the Pacific to get here.

But what was she doing still sitting there? I decided to voice my question.

"Um... what are you doing?" I asked her hesitantly, covering her with my umbrella.

Her head shot up, and my breath caught. She had the most winsome eyes I'd ever seen, a mix between a light and dark brown, making them warm, deep. I felt myself getting light headed, losing conscious thought of the world around me, like a bubble had enclosed me.

"Uh... I was supposed to be rooming with the Cullens and Hales, but the receptionists gave me the wrong route and room key. Do you know if they're home?"

Oh, the irony.

A small part of my mind reminded me that, by a fantastic coincidence, I'd be rooming with this unknown person for four years, but I couldn't concentrate on that very well at the moment. I was still focusing on her voice; clear, defined, but with a soft, reserved edge. Like a sharp wind blowing on a gray, clear day. The most wonderful voice I'd ever heard.

"Yeah, I'll show you where they," _I_, "live. Do you need any help with your bag?"

Without waiting for her answer, I took it and placed it next to mine. It was the way I was raised, I was acting on complete instinct.

It was kind of necessary, seeing as it was becoming increasingly difficult to use my mind freely. No doubt I was already starting to like this unknown woman.

_No doubt she already has a boyfriend, Edward. _Reality slapped me in the face like a ton of bricks.

She looked surprised for a moment, before politely thanking me, blushing a beautiful, delicate pink. It highlighted her ivory face wonderfully, illuminating it.

We started to walk, and I was anxious to hear her voice once more.

"How long have you been out here?" I asked, concerned. I didn't want her to become sick.

"Um...." she stopped speaking for a moment, then looked me straight in the eyes, and I was lost. Hopelessly, completely and utterly lost in the most beautiful eyes ever. Brown that captured my soul, brought it out through my own eyes, transported the wispy emotion capsule into her, made her feel what I felt. Amazement, wonder, happiness. Indescribable feelings of contentment.

"About thirty minutes."

Oh hell no. No, she couldn't have been suffering for that long. No no no no no no.

A very, very small part of my mind wondered how I could be feeling so strongly toward her when I didn't even know her, but that was argued away with a simple "I'm a humanitarian and a gentleman."

Without meaning to, I spoke once more, very un-eloquently, "Are you serious?"

And then I remembered what she'd said before, and froze in my tracks, my emotions running wild. I needed to control them, I knew, but my thoughts were already so jumbled, I didn't have much room for anything else.

"Did you say the _receptionists_ gave you the wrong information?" I said, outraged.

I saw the surprise in her eyes, and I tried to calm myself. I knew I was overreacting, as I tended to, but I just couldn't control myself.

"Um, yes?"

I sighed, closing my eyes as I tried to control myself. I remembered an old trick: count to ten. I did so, slowly feeling the anger leave my system. I didn't have anger management issues or anything like that, but I did become mad when things like this happened to people that were innocent.

I opened my eyes slowly, seeing my (thankfully) now calm face reflected in the pools of melted chocolate that were her eyes.

"I am so sorry," I apologized, sincere. "I can't believe they went this far."

"Umm...Okay? What are you sorry for? You don't work there with them," she said kindly.

Amazing. She didn't even care about what happened to her, so long as others were happy. I wished I could be like that.

I sighed once more. "I'd tell you now, but you're about to freeze to death. I'll show you to your dorm hall. C'mon." And then, stupidly, unthinkingly, I took her hand and started to lead her.

A feeling that could only be described as electric zings flew up my arm consistently, shocking me pleasantly. I wondered if she felt it, too. But, as much as I enjoyed the feeling, I knew that she probably wasn't feeling anything, so I dropped her hand, muttering an awkward apology.

We kept walking, though she kept behind me. Sometimes I had to check if she was still behind me, she kept so quiet. Then, finally, we reached the dorm hall, and I quickly opened the door and invited the mysterious girl in.

She took time admiring the architecture, which I had to admit was amazing, and then I saw her face change swiftly to surprised curiosity.

"How did you have a key?" she asked me, intrigued.

Time to reveal who I was, I supposed. Wondering how she'd react, I stuck out my hand, smirking, and said, "I'm your new roomie. My name's Edward Cullen."

Her eyes went wide, and, almost automatically, she forced her hand to shake mine. I felt the comfortable shocks run through my arm once more, and smiled internally, two things running through my mind.

One: I seriously needed to figure out my emotions toward the girl.

Two: After I do that, I guess I'm free to enjoy the upcoming four years with her.

Hopefully.

**AN: Righto.**

**I don't feel like this chapter is very long, but I did have to crop it a little to not bore everyone out of their minds, and also I did this because a few people requested to know about Edward's feelings toward Bella (thanks to everyone for the inspiration!)**

**I'm still getting used to EPOV... It's kind of confusing. When I slip into his mindset, I'm always worried I accidentally slipped into **_**Bella's**_** mindset. Hopefully I didn't.**

**Please let me know what you thought about this chapter; aka review. LOL think of the little green button down there as the bumper sticker you always see on trucks "HOW'S MY DRIVING?" except it's "HOW'S MY WRITING?" **

**BUT... before I go off to write some more, I'd like to take a moment, like I always do at the end of my chapters, to thank EACH AND EVERY ONE of my readers and reviewers. I woke up this morning, went straight to my inbox, and I was not disappointed. 33 emails! 15 were reviews, and I have since received 3 more... :D you have no idea how happy each email, whether it be alert or review, makes me. To know that people are reading this is enough for me :D Thank you so so so so so so SO much. I mean it. **

**The next update is tomorrow! :D **

**Review plz!**

**cullenite21**


	7. Chapter 7

EPOV

Dammit, Edward! You idiot!

I tried to calm my racing nerves, but to no avail. I'd been standing out here for about five minutes, waiting, and had knocked quickly on the door as soon as my watch blinked 6 P.M.

_Idiot_.

I knew the stereotype: Girls took long to get ready. Bella didn't seem like that, though.

But what if she was? What if I was making things worse by forcing her to hurry? What if I was being weird by showing up on time? What if it was cool to be late? What if-

Bella exited the dorm room and my merciless mind quickly slowed. I saw her looking at my old white - damn. Strike one for had been bored one day and started to draw artistic lines all over them. I didn't mind, I thought it was great. But what if Bella didn't like it? What if she liked guys who were more formal? I could be formal, sure, but I figured I wouldn't need a tux to go out on campus.

I glanced at Bella's clothes. Casually formal outfit that seemed like her, but oddly not entirely like her. It was very pretty; she made it so. But she didn't seem entirely comfortable in them. Like they were foreign to her.

I caught her staring at me and smiled. Blood quickly rushed to her cheeks as she realized I'd caught her staring.

"Hello," I greeted her, my voice coming out more even than I could've hoped.

"Hi," she said, chuckling nervously. That was odd, why should she be nervous?

_You're one to talk, Mr. Anxiety._

I laughed internally, humorlessly. I needed to work on my temper and my nerves around Bella.

Before I could stop to think about what I was doing, I was talking again. "You look very nice, Bella," I told her truthfully.

I enjoyed the sight of her blush as she muttered a sweet, "Thank you." Smirking, I waved for her to start walking.

I opened the front door and we stepped out into the crisp weather.

"So, er, how big is Oxford, exactly?" Bella asked me.

"Well, if you were being literal, which I assume you're not and you're just asking about our campus, the answer is the entire world."

_Oh, way to ramble Edward. Bravo, really, bravo._

Thankfully, Bella didn't seem to mind, most likely being polite. "Wow," she said, and I recognized the same emotion of awe that I first felt when I learned that little tidbit.

"Makes you feel kinda small, doesn't it?"

"Very," she agreed, and conversation fell once more.

We walked in silence for a few more minutes. However, this was not companionable silence, but not quite awkward. Not yet. I could feel the nervousness creep up through me, and I tried to swallow the choking bulge of restlessness that was slowly building up inside of me.

"So, um, tell me why you came here. What are you in for?" Bella asked me teasingly. As I was mentally thanking her a million times over, I noticed her eyes widen and blood flew up to her cheeks.

I laughed at her small joke. "I came here to become an editor," I told her.

"Oh, that's cool. My friend in high school just about-" Bella began, but was soon cut off by her stomach grumbling for food.

Oh, nice job, Edward. You can't even get her some food before you start off walking all around campus? Smooth move there.

As I chewed myself out, I saw Bella look furtively around, her eyes landing on a random bush. Did she see something?

I laughed to try to ease her up, all the while still internally berating myself. I waved at her to follow me as I switched direction, heading to the right.

"Where are we going?"

"To feed the lioness within you. C'mon, there's a really good cafe a few minutes away."

Her head dropped and I nearly punched myself. Could I not stop messing things up? I needed to work on hanging out with other people besides my siblings and room mates. I obviously needed help with it, though. Perhaps Rosalie would be willing to...

"Y'know, the view up here is a lot better," I said, tilting her head up with two fingers unthinkingly, hoping she'd see the apology in my eyes. Sparks of energy, so palpable I could almost see their color, flew through my fingers.

Bella said nothing, looking straight ahead. I sighed sadly, inaudibly, opening the door of one of the local cafes for Bella.

I loved coming here. It always smelled so good. I saw Bella order a combo of a BLT and smiled to myself. Good. She wasn't going to starve herself like other girls.

"That'll be three pounds, love," the elderly lady said. Before Bella had the chance to even think about paying - what kind of gentleman would I be then? I had to make up for my already inadequate behavior- I quickly hurried to the counter.

"Can you double that order, please?" I asked the cashier. Oddly, she seemed unnerved by me.

"Of course. S-six pounds, please," she stuttered. Before I could think too much of it, I reached in my pocket and grabbed a five pound and one pound note, handing them over.

We were seated outside, eating some _very_ good BLTs under the darkening evening sky. No conversation passed between us, and I tried to think of a good topic, but nothing came to mind. We'd already talked earlier (**AN: I decided not to write the 20 questions thing in EPOV because...yeah. because. sry. If i get enough requests for it, I might**) about music, what she was at Oxford for; I'd been quite impressed with her, academically at the very least. Maybe-

"So, um, you mentioned you were from Seattle. What's it like there?" Bella asked me curiously, wincing almost unnoticeably afterwards.

"Windy, rainy, cloudy. It's Washington," I laughed at my curtness. Could I be more anti-social? "We've got a huge, pointy needle. The whole thing is completely overrated."

"I was always to scared to go up whenever my dad wanted to."

"Well, Bella, you don't go _all_ the way up," I teased her, happy that this conversation was going somewhere.

She rolled her eyes at me. "No, of course you do," she said wittily. I liked it. "I had an irrational fear of heights back when I was thirteen.

"How about now?" I asked curiously.

"Well, it's better now, because I can go on airplanes, but before I couldn't be five feet above the ground and not freak out."

"I bet you could go up to the top of the Space Needle now," I said,

"Is the view nice? I'd need some sort of motivation," she asked warily.

"Wonderful," I said truthfully. "It may be a tourist attraction, but it's certainly one for a reason."

"Well then, when I visit home, I'll have to go see it," she declared.

"Who knows, maybe I'll be there too," I said, admittedly a little cockily.

"And of course, Emmett will want to 'touch the big pointy thingy' as he so eloquently put it when he was twelve," I said quickly, not wanting to give her the wrong idea. I mean, sure I'd love to go with her as her boyfriend, but she probably already had one.

Bella laughed as our conversation died.

Oh come _on_ Edward! Is it really that hard to talk with her? You like her, she seems smart, try having an intellectual conversation with her. Think... what's happened lately...

"So, erm, did you see that story about the Beijing fireworks?" Bella asked me, and even I could feel that she was beginning to feel a tad awkward around me. Wonderful. Did I really have to give off the aura of a stiff?

"Yeah! Imagine, two hundred forty one rooms in a five star hotel just gone instantly. That must have been horrible for the architect..." I trailed off, hoping she'd continue.

"I bet..."

Well, she did continue.

After another minute, I was getting close to texting Alice to see if there was any burning news stories we could discuss. I really wanted to get to know Bella, honestly I did.

Suddenly, I saw her eyes light up and she smiled slightly.

"So, democrat or republican?"

Oh, she is _such _a genius. I've always loved debating things.

Sadly, my political views were most likely equivalent to hers. Maybe she had another topic. "Democrat, only rarely is a good republican running for any position."

I saw some of the light in her eyes dim.

"Mac or PC?"

I had to restrain from raising my eyebrows in disbelief. This was a huge colloquial debate topic, sure, but I didn't know she was into it too much. Maybe she did have an opinion, who knew?

I gave mine. "Mac, definitely."

"Cats or dogs?"

Hmm... Interesting.

"Never been much of an animal person, but dogs have always been my favorite."

I saw her eyes begin to fill with frustration. Did she agree with all of my views on these things?

"Interrogation done so soon?" I asked teasingly. Bella was about to respond when suddenly I felt a breeze pass by me and I looked to my right.

It only happened in a matter of a second or less, but right then and there it felt like an eternity and more.

A shirtless, native american jogger passed by us, his long black hair tied loosely. His dark eyes were looking at Bella in a way that looked... inappropriate. Greedy. Not at the level of respect that Bella rightly deserved. Like she wasn't the only one he held feelings for.

How the hell was I interpreting all of this? I was beginning to sound like my 'omniscient' sister. Still, I couldn't help but feel unsure.

Unsure and mad as _hell reincarnated_. Oddly, I couldn't even figure out why I _was_ so irate. I just was, it was practically automatic, instinctual...

I saw myself in my mind's eye, going toward the unnamed jogger and demanding he look me in the eyes...provoke me so that I could defend Bella...

I had to grip my chair so hard to restrain myself that my knuckles were white as sheets.

"Edw-" Bella began. Obviously her attention had stopped going towards that... thing and she had seen me as I was now. Wild, out of control.

Not me. I needed to get out of here.

"You done?" I asked her harshly, not giving her the chance to continue, wincing when she did.

"Um, yeah, I guess," she mumbled after a moment, looking down.

I shoved away from the table, practically running away from the little cafe. I was so mad at myself, at the jogger. Why couldn't I stay in control? I had such a bad temper. Honestly, she must think I'm some sort of psycho, getting mad at runners when in fact I _was_ one.

I couldn't help it, though! He just... completely ruined it. And sure, there wasn't much that we were doing. But maybe I could have had a chance. Maybe.

No.

You would want her to be happy, wouldn't you? Then let her be.

Still...

One little twitch and my legs would be leading me back, sprinting to find the person I didn't even know, yet felt an antagonization toward so strong it blinded me. I let go of all rational thoughts I'd had before and just vented mentally.

How _dare_ he?! I was encompassed by the rage I now felt, so much so that I felt burning, fiery hatred in the center of my bones.

I'd be the first to admit, things were not exactly going perfect before, and I was undoubtedly overreacting. This was completely irrational and stupid. I was scaring Bella, I had seen it in her surprised eyes, and I'd scared myself as well.

But not enough to stop.

I could not contain the... infuriation, the maddening irritation that I now felt, walking back to campus with Bella's shrunken, dejected form behind me.

I _knew _I should care about that. I _knew_ I should stop this ridiculous act. I _knew_ that I should just calm down.

I _knew_, but I could not _act_.

Nor could I describe these feelings. I knew this was way beyond rage, a thousand miles beyond fury. My mind tried another: jealousy?

No, I didn't think... I mean it couldn't have been...

Was I jealous of an unknown person? A meaningless piece of dust? Just another stone in the lake?

_No, I'm infuriated and jealous because _I'm _another stone, too. We're both equally up for auction_.

I sighed, some of the maddening rage leaving me. I didn't have the right to be like this. I wasn't her boyfriend, I had no control over who would be her boyfriend, if she didn't already have one.

_So you're jealous because that jogger might become her boyfriend when really _you _were the one who wanted it more. You'd be better, you're saying. Wow. Way to be egocentric, Edward._

I needed to calm down, I knew that. But when I stopped at our hall, waiting for Bella to catch up before I unlocked the door, waiting to explain, I was shocked to find that she already had her key out, ready to put in the lock. As she brushed past my frozen form, my heart panged when I realized there were tear stains running down her creamy face.

"Thanks," she mumbled, barely audible, more tears hanging from her eyelashes, Bella not meeting my pained eyes. She stepped inside, leaving the door open. I heard her heels click sharply up the first set of stairs and then practically sprint the remaining four.

I couldn't even think of bad enough things to call myself. I just went inside and slumped by the stairs, letting my head fall into my hands.

_Nice._

* * *

**AN: OMG I am **_**so**_** sorry this did not come out earlier. Don't you hate it when homework snipes you? That happened to me twice this week, so the thought of going anywhere **_**near**_** my computer was really almost laughable. But here it is, did it meet your expectations? I'm curious now :) Please let me know. Does it feel like Edward has more feelings for Bella than Bella does for Edward? That's not what I've been aiming for, but sometimes those kind of things can pass by my attention.**

**The next chapter is out tomorrow (this time I'll try my hardest to actually mean it). I feel a regular pattern falling into place....**

**For those of you who have not read my profile updates (which might be all of you, I dunno) THIS STORY IS NOW MY PRIORITY!!! :D :D :D I like writing this one more, so I'm decided to do what I felt like :) I have more planned out for this and Crush Songfic as well, for those of you who read both (thanks very much for doing so :) but I just... I dunno. I truly like writing this one more. Speaking of writing, for those of you who read my oneshot **_**Pained in Your Arms**_**, I really **_**really**_** hated the ending, so I'm re-doing that this weekend.**

**Oh, and guess **_**whaaaat **_**guys!!!! lol I'm so happy about this I just wanna scream it aloud: I'M A BETAAAAA!!! :D The story I'm beta-ing is called **_**90 Years and Back Again **_**and it's by the delightful **_**melliegirl13**_**. Check it out, it's really quite good. There's enigma.....**

**Uhmm..... I think that's all for now. Check out Lily Allen's newest album because she is seriously good :D Brightens up my day :)**

**Oh, and of course, my... chapter-ly (lol) thank you to **_**each and every frickin' one of you**_** (readers/reviewers/story alerters/author alerters/favorite story-ers/favorite author-ers). I felt the need to add the frickin because, seriously, I felt the need to euphemistically emphasize my gratitude. YOU ALL ROCK!!! Every review/alert brightens up my day. It seriously does.**

**Thanks again, and please let me know what you thought about this chapter please (oh, and if you've made it this far in my ramblings, kudos to you :)**

**Review plz, next chap. out 2morro! :)**

**-cullenite21**


	8. Chapter 8

BPOV

The rain pounded deafeningly against my window pane, reverberating throughout my empty, cold room. The bland white walls, the furniture-less state. Everything mocked me. The skirt and tank top, once worn with a hint of delight, now lay discarded on the floor, crumpled, the only thing that lay on the cool white marble. I remembered how I'd practically ripped them off, how my shoulders had heaved with quiet sobs.

I sat currently on my window pane in a striped camisole and black, fuzzy sweats. My face was a mess; I didn't have to look in a mirror to know that. It was so out of character for me, though, that I was really quite tempted to look at myself, to see the weakness stain my cheeks.

As hard as I tried not to, I had been thinking about what _he _had done; over and over and over. Not once had I made sense of it, until a few minutes ago.

It was glaringly obvious, really.

Of course _I_ had to go screw something up. Actually, quite a few things.

I had thought very carefully, thinking about every second I could remember. And the first mistake came before tonight. Though he didn't actually have a girlfriend, I had just become a chore for him tonight. He could have been doing anything else, something actually exciting, with his evening. Play video games, read a book, go clubbing. God knows what he does for fun. Whatever it is, I ruined it for him.

Aw crap. I made him pay, too. Way to look like a gold digger, Bella. Wanna go find that miniskirt and go hitchhiking while you're at it?

Oh, and of _course_, I had to be a frickin' weirdo tonight. Bad jokes (shameful, really, absolutely horrid) and completely unimaginative. That was quite possibly one the quietest evenings I've had with someone of the opposite gender, besides my father.

It was too bad, too. The hardest part was knowing that I actually wanted it to work.

I liked him.

I looked around furtively, as if someone was there and could have heard my thoughts. Sighing, I looked back out my window, the light from the walkway drifting up weakly through my windows. I'd been quite off tonight. Crying, for one. I could probably count the times I've cried. I wasn't ever an _extremely_ emotional person. I wasn't heartless, but I wasn't ever teary-eyed because of something petty.

A telling sign; I really did like Edward. He mattered, somehow. I couldn't figure out what I was trying to say. My thoughts were completely jumbled, and trying to form a coherent thought wasn't exactly painless. I didn't mean I liked him like a friend, I already knew that.

But I certainly didn't like him to an extent where I would _cry_ for him, did I?

_Of course not. In other news, the pope is now a muslim._

Okay. So maybe I did like him. I'd accept that. But I was going to have to re-think my reactions if I didn't like him _that _much. Why did I cry for him if I only cried for things truly important to me?

...I _did_ kind of want this to be, well, not the _only_ outing we'd ever have together. Alone.

Oh, and in my head, it kind of went with him being more than a 'friend.' Like, y'know, adding 'boy' as the prefix.

Pshh. Yeah, that's _so_ gonna happen, Bella.

But, still, why would I _cry_?

I sighed again, frustrated. Maybe I was just really tired and I didn't have much control over my emotions. Maybe I was crying because I didn't know _exactly_ what made him so mad.

Maybe I was crying because Edward was really the only one I'd yet _connected_ with here.

After all, all I really knew about his friends and family was that, well, they were his friends and family. I knew that Alice and Rose were incredibly nice, liked shopping, and that was pretty much it. There had to be more to them than just that.

Emmett and Jasper, even less. They were also nice, but that was it. Emmett was funny, Jasper was, too. I knew nothing of how deep they could be, if they could be deep at all. Edward was the only one I knew of _remotely_, and already he was sick of me. That Didn't brighten up my idea of my future here, if the one person I could even slightly relate with was already irritated by me.

I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. Time. That was probably it. Maybe he'd seen too much of me within the past twenty four hours. That could be it, right? I mean, sure, there were people you really liked being with, but even those you'd become a little weary of if you saw them for forty-eight hours straight.

I sighed and shook my head, knowing that that statement was entirely untrue.

Nevertheless, I'd give myself the benefit of doubt for that one. I mean, I barely even knew Edward, as much as I wanted to. I knew he liked dogs, Macs, and was, for the most part, a democrat. Compatible with me? Yes. The fact that these were just three random things out of his personality also was true. Those were three traits out of a thousand or more. I could be .3% compatible with him, or 3000% compatible with him.

_You sound like a computer Bella._

I ignored my thoughts and focused. I wouldn't know how much I was really like him until I talked to him more. Which, if things kept going the way they were, wouldn't be anytime soon. How absolutely wonderful.

I fingered the piece of ripped up paper that was beside me. I had yet to open it, and it was mocking me more than my empty room ever could. I wasn't about to blame the unnamed jogger, but his passing by us _was_ when Edward finally cracked. And, beyond all stereotypes, I was pretty sure he'd given me his number. That that was what was in the paper.

I rolled my eyes at the prospect. He'd probably just dropped it. I should just go to the trash can (or 'rubbish bin.' I wasn't entirely sure which one I liked more just yet) and throw it out. I wasn't going to just open a random piece of paper from a _very_ cute stranger that could possibly hold all ofh is contact information and allow me to actually go out on a _date_ with him. Heavens to Betsy no.

As the saying goes, curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back.

Without giving it another thought, I practically ripped open the piece of folded paper, feeling slightly guilty for a reason I could not figure out.

I nearly gasped aloud at what I saw.

There, in a relatively neat scrawl (at least compared to mine) was the man's name, phone number, and email.

_Jacob W. Black. 01865-334-9984. __wofieboy .uk__Call me ;) I'm attending Oxford, FYI. _

For a minute there, I thought I was hallucinating. I shook my head violently and looked again.

_01865-334-9948_

_Call me ;) I'm attending Oxford, FYI_

Ho-ly crow. Not only do I have his phone number (which was reason enough to start prancing around happily) but he was here. At Oxford. And there was a possibility he was in one of my classes.

In...out....in....out....

A part of me recognized that this was a completely puerile way to act. I mean, he was just a really cute guy...who had pretty much just asked me out...and was also quite possibly attending some of my classes.

No, no reason there to be childishly happy whatsoever.

I practically squealed, letting myself forget about my problems with Edward for the moment. I couldn't dwell on it forever, because then I'd end up like a hermit.

And that wouldn't allow me to go out with Jacob.

I thought of his name as I reached for my cell phone in a movement where I didn't even have to think about what I was doing.

Jacob. Jacob W. Black. It fit him, oddly. The nickname Jake fit his happy aura, but Jacob kept him youthfully serious. I wondered vaguely what the W stood for as I dialed his number.

The phone rang twice and I was snapped out of my unthinking daze when I realized that it was almost midnight and he had seen me four hours ago.

Way to look like you have a life, Bella. You're top notch on the cool factor right there.

The phone rang again, and I debate whether hanging up was a good idea. I had no idea how late people stayed up here.

A fourth time, and a fifth. I was no good at leaving coherent messages...

A sixth ring and my fingers started to tremble nervously. I felt sweat begin to collect on my brow and forehead. My foot began to tap anxiously. Oddly enough, I was already decided that I would not hang up. It was a strange thing I did with myself. Don't give up by the fourth ring. It must matter if I've waited that long.

I didn't even remember when or why I created that. I must've been like, six, trying to call a classmate for the homework assignment. Maybe I was trying to show myself - or my Mom, I wasn't really sure - that I could be brave.

Pshh. Suuuure.

A seventh ring, and I heard it click to voicemail.

_Hey, it's Jake. I'm either eating, asleep, or running around. Anyway, leave me a message and I'll get back to you. See ya!_

His cheery voice made me smile, in spite of myself. It was infectious. I could almost see his grin, his pearly white teeth glinting in the sunlight.

The standard options passed as I waited, trying to think of what I would say. He wouldn't know my name, I should probably explain where he'd seen me, how the hell I'd gotten his number.

Hmm... I should also probably explain that I wasn't a stalker or anything bad like that. That might be a tad helpful.

_You may record your message after the beep. When you have finished recording, you may hang up, or press one for more options._

I held my breath, awaiting the beep. When it came, I let my breath whoosh out silently (I hoped) and began.

"Um, hey, my name's Bella Swan. Um, I saw you jogging past a cafe in Oxford earlier this evening, and, um, yeah, you kinda dropped your number by me, and, um..." I trailed off. My message was already _completely _coherent, packed full with sentence fillers. Not only that, but oh crap. This was gonna be awkward. How had I not realized that I was being incredibly forward?! Maybe he hadn't meant to drop his number by me!

"Umm..I, uh," I stuttered, when, suddenly, I felt the messaging system click off, and a bleary voice filtered through my end of the phone.

"Hello?"

**AN: Cliffieeee! I'm pretty sure you guys are smart enough to figure out who it is, however, so not **_**entirely**_**.**

**Hmm... Looking at this chapter again, it looks a bit short :( It's four pages on my computer...**

**Anyways, notes on this chapter as well as the last one: A HUGE thanks to **_**twilightlover289**_** for pointing out my mistake of Bella and Edward still thinking the other had a boyfriend/girlfriend. This had been cleared up in chapter three, so I apologize, and I'll get to revising that. Umm... what else, what else... sorry for my delayed update! I freaked out when FF crashed (lol I was like "OMG! IT'S ON LOCKDOWN FOREVER! NOOO!!!" seriously. I was like, Edward overreacting. xP) and then I've been getting a few other things done after I logged in again. My apologies =/ **

**Hmm.... I believe that's it.... Relatively short AN compared to the last one...**

**Next update is tomorrow (anyone else feeling a pattern beginning?) and, once again, my thanks to **_**everyone**_** (readers/reviewers/alerters) I'm sorry I haven't gotten back to your reviews yet, I'll be doing that today, I promise.**

**And... I believe that's it :) I'm outside writing today, I was inspired to be out here for an odd reason...**

**Review plz! :)**

**-cullenite21**


	9. Chapter 9

BPOV

"Hello?" a weary voice drifted through the earpiece of my phone. It was, in itself, contradictory. Smooth and rough, weary and cheerful, playful and serious.

"Hello?" Jake asked again, confused and more alert now. I heard sheets rustle in the background.

I quickly shook my head and replied. "Um, hi," I said, a bit awkwardly.

_Yes, Bella, because _hi_ explains who you are and how the hell you got his number._

"Who is this?" Jacob asked warily.

"Um, my name's Bella Swan...you, erm, you dropped your number by me earlier and-"

"Oh!" Jacob said, and I could hear his understanding. "Oh, okay. Yeah, hey!"

"Hi. Um, did I wake you up?" I asked, the question popping into my mind.

"No no, I was just, erm... watching the news?" It came out like a question.

I instantly felt guilty. Could I not reign in my desperateness for just twenty four hours?

"Sorry," I mumbled.

"No, it's cool. So, hey, I'm just gonna bring this straight up, but, uh, do you, uh, wanna, y'know, catch a movie tomorrow night?" he cleared his throat as I sat there in shock.

_Do you wanna catch a movie tomorrow night?_

_Hell yeah I do!_

"Yeah! Sure!" I said excitedly. After my mind caught up with my mouth, I blushed. Thankfully he couldn't see.

"Awesome! So, um, I'll... pick you up at eight then. Is that cool?" Thankfully, he sounded excited too. It boosted my ego, however insignificantly.

"Yeah. I'm at Oxford, too, 'FYI,'" I teased him.

Jake laughed; it was a throaty sound. "Cool. Which hall?"

"103."

"Aw, you're so lucky. You're near practically every class. I'm in 405, the only class I'm even slightly near is physiology."

"You're training to be a doctor?"

"Close. Psychiatrist. I've always been interested in the workings of the human mind."

I smiled. "That's awesome. Here I am, thinking the age old art of writing is anywhere remotely complex."

"Hey, now, writing's not easy! In fact, the other day I forgot how to spell psychology. My very own subject. So chill. I bet you could spell... I dunno. But a ton of stuff, am I right?"

I blushed. I had never been comfortable showing off. "Um, yeah," I muttered.

Jake laughed again. "No need to be embarrassed. If you know it -- oh damn. I, uh, I gotta go. I'll see ya tomorrow at eight." Without another word, he hung up.

Well.

That was odd. I wonder why he had to go.

I shook my head, trying to dispel my petty thoughts. It was nearly midnight, I was tired, so he must be, too.

A strange sensation, a nagging guilty voice babbled on and on in the back of my head, but its words were unintelligible, its sentences incoherent. I ignored it and trudged to my suitcase. After yanking on my pajamas, I headed down to the lounge, where I would once again be sleeping on the couch.

I could've sworn I heard a noise coming from above, but I shook it off. It was probably just the wind.

I slept on the couch again, feeling my muscles curve into the soft leather once more.

EPOV

Damn. She'd called him.

I heard her tap her foot and I could practically feel her nervousness. I'd been sitting on my bed for a few hours now, staring at the blackness of my room, seeing the empty shadows of the branches fly across my wall with the wind. Everything seeming to laugh at me, seeming to say, "Your fault! Your fault! You screwed up, Edward!"

And I just took it. I sat there and listened to the shadows.

Because I knew they were right.

"Yeah! Sure!" I heard her say. Due to the walls, the sound was faint, but I knew the emotion was there.

In an act of puerile frustration, I nearly mimicked her reaction. The only thing that stopped me was that I knew I'd regret it later.

God, I couldn't get tonight out of my head, and it was slowly eating me alive. Every time I tried to think of something else, I instantly connected it to Bella or to my frustration. I'd connected shoes to the furious clicks I'd heard after she'd swept past me. I'd connected a snowflake to the way her tears had hung to her thick lashes like snowflakes. I'd connected optical illusions to the pattern on her skirt!

That's it. I was officially insane.

My breath whooshed out irritatedly and I grabbed fistfuls of my hair. How did I let my frustration get the best of me? I'd been trying to control myself, but _hell_, did that guy make me angry. The pathetic part was that I didn't even know _why_, exactly. I needed to figure out my feelings.

Come on, Edward, think. You've known her for forty eight hours, this shouldn't be too hard.

Well... I knew it wasn't something petty, like lust. I rarely if ever had those kind of feelings, Esme taught me better. I also knew I was confusing myself. I knew I didn't love her, which was kind of a given, knowing the brevity of our acquaintance. But I didn't see her as just my roommate, as someone that I'd want only a friendship with. I knew I wanted her around me, often.

Contradicting myself made my mind spin in circles, and I couldn't form a coherent thought. My shoulders slumped and I sighed, flopping down on the bed beneath me. My eyes closed and I was greeted with the familiar blackness of sleep.

BPOV

I woke up with the yellow sunlight flowing through the windows. Sitting up and rubbing my bleary eyes, feeling the crusted makeup on my face, I heaved myself up and trudged up the stairs. I saw my empty white room again and a wave of memories flooded my mind. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to forget last night.

As I was grabbing my clothes for the day, I spotted my cell phone and smiled. I was oddly looking forward to tonight, despite the disaster that had happened yesterday. I was trying to convince myself that tonight would be better.

I stepped into the shower and I realized that, eventually, I'd have to talk to Edward again. Which would most likely include a very awkward reference to the night before.

My mouth pressed in a thin, petulant line. I'd have to think of excuses for my behavior.

_Like he won't. _

I scolded myself for thinking that. I knew he wouldn't lie, that just wasn't something I could see him doing.

_You also couldn't see him becoming furious like that_.

_Shut up! _I thought to myself.

My eyes widened and I swallowed hard as I realized that I'd stooped to arguing...with myself. I couldn't let last night control me forever. My emotions were locked into that memory, true, and whenever I thought back to it I'd remember it with sadness, yes. But I couldn't live my life as an out of body experience. I'd have to move along with the time.

_But...but Edward's back in the memory. We can't leave him behind!_

I took a deep breath. I instantly felt guilty that I was going out with Jacob tonight when I knew that he wasn't the only person I was interested in.

Besides, Edward'll live his life, he'll move on like I will. He won't be left behind.

_He'll just be parallel to you, you'll never quite be able to reach him._

I'm not even _moving on_, per say. I didn't think there was much to move on from, anyways. We went _as friends_ and we came back...

_Like you wanted to be more than friends._

_Didn't I tell you to shut up already? _I thought back heatedly.

I stepped out of the shower, towel dried and got dressed. A yellow, strapless sundress and brown cutoff leggings with a black wrap, along with a thick read headband.

It was like I was forcing myself to be happy, and I had to admit that to myself. I was not happy yet. Sure, after going out with Jacob, I might be happier, but the nagging guilt will always be there.

It was like last night was the only chance, and I blew it. It was like it was going to turn into one of those 'what if' situations that you always look back on later in life. It would always be there, even when I left Oxford. It'd nag me constantly, and eventually it would drive me insane. Worse yet, after I left here, that was pretty much it. Sure, I'd keep in touch with Alice and Rose. I could already feel a strong friendship growing there, despite how little I knew about them.

_I think you're over thinking this, Bella _I reminded myself.

Slipping on a pair of gold studded black flats, I went downstairs and was greeted by a sleepy Jasper, trudging his way to the lounge, or more specifically, the coffee maker. His hair stuck up a bit in the back and in random spots on the sides of his head, making me giggle slightly.

"Good morning Jasper," I said, facing him as I caught up with his lengthy stride.

He grunted in response as he nodded his head in my direction.

We walked in companionable silence for a flight of stairs until he suddenly seemed to remember something, and his head shot up. Much more alertly he asked me, "What happened last night?"

I blushed. Crap. Did everyone see that? "Er, um, well..." I stuttered.

"What did he do?" Jasper pressed.

"C'mon Jasper, it wasn't him, really," I tried to convince him.

"Bella everyone saw," dammit, "if--" suddenly he stopped and tried again.

"Look, just know that we're all here, okay? And, I don't mean to brag, but people usually say I calm them down a lot," Jasper said kindly, adding a small smile in my direction at the end of his statement.

I was touched at his sincerity. "Thank you, Jasper. That means a lot to me."

He shrugged it off. "You'll be stuck with a bunch of crazy people for the next four years - it's the least we can do to thank you for putting up with us."

I laughed. "You guys aren't _that _bad, from what I can infer in seventy two hours."

"Oh, you've seen nothing yet, Bell. You've seen nothing yet..." he trailed off, jokingly ominous.

I rolled my eyes at him. We'd reached the landing of the first floor, and we headed to the lounge, where strong coffee was already brewing. I saw Jasper's eyes fill with yearning and he drifted to the coffee pot dazedly.

As I was heading to sit down near the fireplace, Alice came in. She laid questioning eyes on me and then she saw Jasper, and all was forgotten for the moment. She stayed hesitant, biting her lip, before timidly asking him for the coffee.

I smiled to myself when I saw Jasper's eyes light up a bit before he handed her the steaming coffee pot. Alice looked down fixedly as she drank her caffeine fix for the day.

"GOOD MORNING WORLD!" Emmett boomed as he entered the lounge, stretching his arms above his head.

While everyone was busy covering their ears, I chuckled. I wasn't the type to complain about waking up early, unless I really needed the sleep. It seemed like Emmett was that way, too.

"Morning, Emmett," I replied amiably as I got up to grab an apple off the shelf of the small kitchen. Emmett stood next to me and grabbed about three times the amount of food I could possibly eat in a meal: two bananas, an apple, and an orange. At least he had an excuse; he was at least six three.

"See, see? At least _someone _responds to my salutations! How are you today, Bella?" Emmett addressed me as he opened a banana.

"Pretty good, thanks," I said, feeling better than I was before. Emmett had that 'I don't give a damn about something I don't need to' air about him. It was infectious, and I was certainly feeling lighter.

We all sat in a comfortable silence. I actually was feeling happy and I'd just sat down with a book Renee had given to me before I left. Still on her sci-fi craze, she'd given me _The Dispossessed. _It reminded me a bit of _The Giver_.

I'd just reached the second chapter, my mood not yet downed (the others here certainly helped - they all balanced each other out) and as Jasper was turning on BBC, Edward entered.

Aw, crap. This was gonna be awkward.

I ducked my head, staring intently at the words on the page. I read the same paragraph for about five minutes, before giving up. Closing the book, I sipped at my coffee that I'd gotten earlier and focused on the news for a solid ten minutes.

...Or tried to. As much as I hated to admit to myself and my whole 'you're moving on' idea, I had to look at Edward.

So, as discreetly as I could, I looked to the side, where I could hear him pouring a second cup of coffee. Being careful not to tilt my head in his direction, I looked to see a mess of copper hair gleaming in the sunlight. It stuck up in every direction.

_Beautiful_ I thought before I could contain myself.

_Dammit! I told you to shut up an hour ago!_

His green eyes were hollow, dark and emphasized with circles under his eyes. His cheeks were red in random places, like he'd applied too much pressure. His white cotton tee-shirt was rumpled and so were his sweats.It didn't look like he had gotten too much sleep. I idly wondered why, oddly feeling like it was my fault.

I shook it off and sipped on my coffee more, looking back to the television. The weather looked nice for the day, I decided to head over to the coffee shop and --

Oh, well this was just lovely. If I got a job there, I'd be reminded of last night constantly.

_All the more reason to go. Get over yourself, Bella._

My eyebrows furrowed indecisively.

_Look at it this way: Earning money, or cowering because you didn't want to be reminded of something._

Well, that actually put a lot in perspective.

Determinedly, I stood up and went to grab my wallet from my room.

What I _didn't _notice, though, was that Edward had followed me. It was kind of sad, really, I only noticed at the beginning of the third floor.

"Um, Bella?" Edward asked me timidly. I started and looked behind me. Beyond the fright, it was so awkward it felt like the elephant had just invited all of its friends.

_It's awkward for him, too, Bella. Remember that._

"Can I talk to you?"

**AN: Don't you just love cliffies? I won't ramble on here, except to thank my lovely readers/reveiwers/alerters.**

**Review plz!**

**-cullenite21**


	10. Chapter 10

BPOV

"Can I talk to you?"

I gulped. The elephant had just invited about ten more friends. Here came what was about to be the most awkward conversation I'd ever had.

But, hey. I didn't have to show that I felt like that. I was, after all 'getting over him.'

_Have fun trying, Bella._

"Look, if this is about last night--" I began, admittedly slightly cold. I could feel an outer shell begin to grow, and I wasn't happy about it.

"It is, actually," Edward interrupted me, adopting my tone. "I just wanted to-"

"It's fine," _no it's not. _"I understand."

His face went blank in confusion. "Understand what?"

Oho, well this was just lovely. Insecurity could really come in handy.

_Huge egos aren't better. He might just be playing dumb, making you say it aloud._

No, Edward didn't think I was _that_ stupid, did he? 

"Uh....understand that...you...got a, um...you got heartburn! Yes, erm, I did as well, afterwards...as well," I chuckled nervously as I stuttered. "Must've been one of the ingredients..."

_Better than nothing, I suppose._

EPOV

I had heartburn? And no one told me?

I opened my mouth to say something, but shut it once more. The truth might hurt more than lying at this point.

"Right, yeah... I got...heartburn?" My voice sounded incredulous even to myself.

"You got heartburn," Bella confirmed, nodding her head.

"Um...yeah. So, uh, I just wanted to, er, say sorry for freaking out on you like that."

"Pshh...It's fine!" She waved her hand at me. "Happens to everyone."

BPOV

Damn, my voice sounded fake even to myself. I saw the disbelief, and even some slight hurt (which I really didn't understand, and it quite annoyed me) in Edward's eyes.

"Okay, well, I actually had to head out for a few, so I'm just gonna grab my wallet, but, uh, hope you're feeling better!"

"Right. Yeah, thanks, I'm feeling much better."

...Was it just me or was that sentence _incredibly_ sarcastic?

EPOV

"Right. Yeah, thanks, I'm feeling much better," I said, putting slight emphasis on the 'much.' I didn't even mean to be witty, but I just randomly remembered when Bella'd called...

Right. Insert obscenities above.

So now I was stuck here, watching her be happy from afar. Don't we all just love unrequited feelings?

BPOV

Heartburn, Bella? Really?

I berated myself all the way to the coffee shop as I remembered my lack of creativity. I turned my wallet distractedly in my hands, the black and gold worn material familiar in my hands.

At last, I reached the coffee shop, the neon letters of the "HIRING" sign mocking me slightly. The bell tinged when I opened the door, causing me to wince. I could already feel the onslaught of memories, each one slashing a different part of the wall I'd built earlier.

The elderly woman behind the counter smiled at me in obvious recognition. "Is our food really that good?"

I smiled weakly. "Uh...yeah! Actually, though, I came here to apply for the job position. It's part-time, right?"

"Yes, one of our student employees just graduated. Four years at Oxford, each one he spent here. Quite a nice fellow... But enough of that. Here's the form, the hours and all the specifications are on there as well."

I nodded politely and began, feeling a surge of an odd satisfaction, kind of like I was finally doing things on my own, no one helping me. Independence. It felt good.

I began writing in my awkward scrawl, the standard questions reminding me of my college applications. Name, DOB, address, phone number, email, etc. I took note of the hours, 4:30 to 9:30, Monday to Saturday. Hopefully it wouldn't be too hard to fit in.

Fifteen minutes and two scratch outs later, I handed the clipboard back to the woman, preparing to leave.

"Oh, you don't have to go back, honey, I can look at it now. You're the first to apply and today's usually slow at this hour."

It didn't take much to convince me; I had about seven hours before I had to get ready for tonight and any time that could be used productively avoiding Edward was fine with me. I turned back to face the woman, who had already been studying the paper.

A moment later, she spoke once more. "Yes, this all seems fine. Oh, and don't hesitate to bring any sort of schoolwork here, I know how rigorous it can get. Poor Matt had heaps in the winter...watch out. Other than that, I think you could actually start tomorrow-"

"Is today alright?" I asked, eager for any excuse to avoid the hall. "I'd actually have to leave a bit early, but I can make up for it tomorrow."

"Well, if you insist," she chuckled. "I'm Madelia, by the way. Come round here, I'll get you an apron and show you how everything works. We have until about three, that's when things get real busy."

Madelia flitted around to the back, her chin length gray hair bobbing underneath her dark blue visor.

"Alright, there's that," she said, handing me a matching knee-length navy blue apron and visor. "And I'll have a name pin for you by tomorrow. Besides me, there's Madeline and Jack. Jack works early mornings, so that may be the only time you see him. Fun bloke, he is. Madeline works Sundays, late nights, and whatever times any one of us is sick. She was at Oxford, married a nice young fellow. Works as a photographer now."

As Madelia described everyone, I knew I'd like it here. Not only was she nice, but I could definitely see the firm bonds between everyone here. The way she talked of them painted a strong comforting picture in my mind. If all else failed, I could already see myself being comfortable coming here and talking to any one of them. How lucky I was, to have found two niches in one place.

* * *

Later that evening, walking home, I felt the adrenaline slowly filling my body; the good, butterflies in your stomach, excited kind. Though I'd just felt it last night when I was with Edward, it still felt new.

I'd gone three stairs up to my room when Rose caught up to me.

"Where were you all day? I didn't see you this morning."

"Work," I said simply. "I got a job down at the coffee shop."

"Nice," she said approvingly. "Speaking of coffee shops, what happened last night?"

Despite the bluntness of her question, I secretly applauded the way she handled the query. Not many people were like that.

"Nothing," I said, trying to avoid the question.

"That's bull. Tell me now."

"Rose, it's not bull. Nothing happened."

"Should I ask Edward, then?"

I sucked in a sharp breath. "No! No, fine, I'll tell you. Just...can we go to my room? It might be a little awkward here..."

Wordlessly, she started up the stairs. I sighed and followed. What would I say? Should I just go with the truth? Or should I excuse myself from explaining...It was, after all, almost seven thirty. I seriously did need to get ready. Hmm... I wondered which movie we were going to see... I'd been meaning to see Slumdog Millionaire back in the states...I wondered if it was here as well.

The door to my room opened and closed and I saw Rosalie sit on my bed. "Spill."

I bit my lip. This was so petty, I was afraid to wonder what she'd think of me after this. I acquiesced, though, to her demanded explanation. Beginning, middle, and end, I watched her face for any emotions. I edited out some, which I could tell she knew, but she didn't hold me to it.

Fifteen minutes later, I was ended, anxious and jittery. I needed to get ready and calm down in fifteen minutes. My fingers and feet started tapping, to which Rosalie silenced me by snapping in my face.

"Alright," her face was hard, "I've heard what I needed to hear. Now what he has coming for him, that son of a--" 

"Rose, come on. Just let it go, ple--"

"Let it go? Why? You don't deserve that, Bella!"

"Rosalie," my voice was firm. "No. Just...come on, for me? I'm going out in fifteen minutes and I _really_ need to go get ready."

Her eyes lit up. "Can I help?"

"Um...sure." It was only fifteen minutes.

Pshh. _Only_. Ten minutes later and I was astounded beyond belief. Rose had been inspired for a look in two minutes and fixed me up in six. My hair was pinned up nicely, in a casual yet chic way. I was clad in a striped black and white boat neck shirt and a black pleated skirt that fell to just above my knees. The jacket I'd worn my first day here topped it all off.

With seven minutes to go, I quickly brushed my teeth and washed my face. Double checking everything, making sure I had money this time, I looked at Rosalie and smiled.

"Thank you."

"No problem. But don't think I'm done with the whole Edward thing. He doesn't know what he has coming... And don't expect Alice to not hear about this. She's been dying to know all day. I'm surprised she hasn't exploded yet."

My shoulders slumped in defeat. _I'm not dealing with this tonight._

We walked out of my room, Rose waving at me as she went into her room below. "Good luck," she called. I smiled and walked down the rest of the way alone.

I checked my phone as I reached the landing. 8:03.

_Edward would've been here by now._

_We live in the same damn building. Shut. Up._

Seven more minutes passed, which was a little awkward. I was so bizarrely paranoid someone would see me going out that I decided to wait at the edge of the path outside. There, at 8:15, Jake met me up, dressed in a dark red button up and jeans.

"Hey! Ready to go?"

EPOV

Downcast and dejected, I watched the two walk hand-in-hand until they faded from sight.

**AN: Don't blame me for the immense amount of time between updates, blame finals.**

**I have a huge request for all of my amazing readers, but I have faith in you guys. I desperately need a new summary for this story, so please let me know your ideas. Anyone who does gets a sneak peak of the next chappieeee....**

**Thanks again to everyone!**

**-cullenite21 **


	11. Chapter 11

BPOV

Did this kid ever stop talking?

I mean, seriously, even if I wanted to try to get a word in, it would be easier to lift the Empire State Building with my bare hands. But hey, maybe he was nervous. I was.

"And then, this kid went in the _middle of my fuckin' way_ and I was like _shit_ man could you _not _use coke right there?"

Wow. This guy is training to be a psychologist? Whatever. I think he's pausing for breath. Let me try to fit something in.

"So, earlier today I was thinking, don't you think it's crazy how America's actions really affect other countries rather than our own? Like our bailouts. That _completely_ backfired and now people who don't deserve to are richer. Meanwhile, China's having massive layoffs, just like America, because we're not importing their goods. God, for once could we just..."

I trailed off. The bemused look on his face had me thinking he didn't hear or care about a word I just said. I know that sounds petty but God knows I at least listened about his pot smoking friend.

"Um... yeah! Of course! And that Bernie Madoff character..." Jake shook his head.

"Exactly! _That's _what's wrong! How could we let something _that horrid_ just slip by us?"

He blinked a few times, then nodded vigorously. "Absolutely. But, hey, let's not stress tonight," he flashed me a gorgeous white smile. "Tell me something about yourself."

I blushed. "Urm, well I uh, I'm 19 in two weeks." 

"Well then, happy early birthday! Actually I just turned 19 two days ago."

"Oh! Well...happy belated birthday."

"Thanks," he laughed. After a silent moment, he pointed his knife at me. "Are you gonna finish that?"

Oh, hell no.

I cannot _stand_ when people do that. Don't ask me why, I don't even know. I nodded vaguely and continued eating.

"You're from America, right?" he asked me a minute later, sipping his soda.

"Forks, Washington. Dullest and wettest town in America." 

"No way! I'm from the reservation there!"

Excitedly, I asked, "La Push?"

"Yeah! Hey, small world, huh?"

"Absolutely."

* * *

First dates are always good times to make good first impressions. Hence the name _first_ date. Jake had made a great one on me, because we continued dating. I noticed at times any one of my roommates would give me odd looks, and I soon became...well, to be honest, a complete pariah. It really sucked, actually. But Jake always made me feel better.

A year later, something interesting happened...

"_Jake... I don't know..."_

"_You know you want to."_

_I tried to speak, but nothing but small bursts of air came out of my mouth. Again, "... I don't...I mean I don't know you that well..."_

"_Please tell me you're kidding. Please. We've been going out forever! Shit Bella, if now isn't well enough I don't know when is."_

_I was still hesitant. "You know how the others feel about--" _

"_Me? Jeez, I don't even know why they're like that--" _

"_Jake, you stole a car."_

"_I didn't! My friend did when he was high!"_

_My shoulders slumped. "And besides," he continued, "are you going to put their feelings over yours?"_

_Yes._

"_No. It's just that... oh, I don't know. What the hell. Yes."_

_He leaned back and smirked. "I knew you'd see it my way."_

_

* * *

_

And so Jake had proposed to me, exactly five weeks ago. Only Rosalie had agreed to come, the rest of the Cullens were busy with hiking, and Jasper was sick.

Five weeks in advance. Sigh.

* * *

"Nervous?" Alice asked me sharply as I stood, waiting for the taxi that would take Rose and I to the chapel.

"No."

"You should be. You should be ashamed. All Edward was trying to do was to protect you. You little ingrate."

She stormed off, leaving me be. I was used to her verbal abuse, she'd been talking to me like this ever since I'd accepted Jake's proposal.

"I do," I agreed to the sacred vows that would bind me to Jacob Black for eternity.

Literally. Apparently his branch of Christianity didn't believe in divorce.

But they believed in polygamy...? I had no need to worry, Jake had promised me he wouldn't follow his father's footsteps.

"WAIT!" A sudden cry echoed throughout the small church. Rosalie ran up the aisle, and kissed Jake square on the mouth. Even more surprising, he kissed her back.

"Rose...I told you to wait until after..." he whispered, his voice reverberating throughout the church. I was shell-shocked.

"Later, Bells. I guess you would've found out sooner or later. Tell the Cullens they can piss off.... well.... Nah. Nah..."

I ran to the back of the church, a small dressing room waiting for me to burst into tears.

But, unbeknownst to me, Edward had actually come.

With a guest. Erica, I think her name was?

Yeah, well, point is, they were getting hot and heavy in the dressing room.

Yay.

Life officially sucks.

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**APRIL FOOLS!!!!**

**Sorry guys, this was too good to resist. How many readers did I lose right there, huh? I'm not good at pranks, so you probably knew all along... but there ya' go. Don't worry, I have another chapter about a page away from being done, so it'll be out later tonight. Thank you for putting up with my mediocre attempt at pranks. See ya soon.**

**-cullenite21**

**ps...if you feel like it, you can press the green button down there and tell me how shocked you were (if you were). berate me for giving you cardiac arrest, if need be... **


	12. Chapter 12

BPOV

Well. This was...different. 

But, y'know, in a good way! Change is _good_. Very good for the mind. Yup. Absolutely.

I mean, _sometime_ or other, this would've happened. And it's probably happened to... like, everyone. It has to have happened to quite a few women out there already.

Aw, screw it. At best, this was completely repetitive.

Diversity is good for the mind, Bella. At one point or another, you were going to have to see an action film.

Sigh. But when we could see films at the cinema like _The Reader, _or rent movies like Slumdog Millionaire or Changeling...or oh my God, _anything but this._

Currently, I sat next to Jake, watching his crappy T.V. (seriously, I knew nothing of televisions, I could care less about them, but I knew that this one was absolutely decrepit) and some movie called Rush Hour 2. Holy hell, but this was awful.

Diversity, diversity, diversity...

Well, I should focus on the better parts of this. His incredibly warm arm was wrapped around my shoulders... casual, and his movement had been quite subtle. We had enough space between us to make it first date-ish but not as much to make it seem awkward.

I saw a flash of orange on the fading screen of his TV and sighed internally. I couldn't help but admit to myself, I thought he'd be slightly more classy.

_Not everyone can be an Edward._

Ignoring my traitor mind, I diligently sat through the rest of the movie.

Did this kid ever stop talking?

I mean, seriously, even if I wanted to try to get a word in, it would be easier to lift the Empire State Building with my bare hands. But hey, maybe he was nervous. I was.

"And then, this kid went in the _middle of my fuckin' way_ and I was like _shit_ man could you _not _use coke right there?"

Wow. This guy is training to be a psychologist? But what place am I to judge. Just because he's training for a complex career doesn't mean _he_ has to be _completely_ deep. Sometimes it might be good to get away from the harder part of studies...

Scratch that. Classes haven't started yet.

Whatever. I think he's pausing for breath. Let me try to fit something in.

"So, earlier today I was thinking, don't you think it's crazy how America's actions really affect other countries rather than our own? Like our bailouts. That _completely_ backfired and now people who don't deserve to are richer. Meanwhile, China's having massive layoffs, just like America, because we're not importing their goods. God, for once could we just..."

I trailed off. The bemused look on his face had me thinking he didn't hear or care about a word I just said. I know that sounds petty but God knows I at least listened about his pot smoking friend.

"Um... yeah! Of course! And that Bernie Madoff character..." Jake shook his head.

"Exactly! _That's _what's wrong! How could we let something _that horrid_ just slip by us?"

He blinked a few times, then nodded vigorously. "Absolutely. But, hey, let's not stress tonight," he flashed me a gorgeous white smile. "Tell me something about yourself."

I blushed. This was why I did not date. _Way_ too personal at times, and I did not do personal. Listener, not talker.

"Urm, well I uh, I'm 19 in two weeks." 

"Well then, happy early birthday! Actually I just turned 19 two days ago."

"Oh! Well...happy belated birthday."

"Thanks," he laughed. After a silent moment, he pointed his knife at me. "Are you gonna finish that?"

Oh, hell no.

I cannot _stand_ when people do that. Don't ask me why, I don't even know. Because I didn't trust my mouth, I simply nodded vaguely and had another small mouthful of the delicious chicken. No offense intended to him, Jake did not look like he could cook, nor like he would want to. I had long past deduced that this was from a rotisserie, and now I was just trying to figure a way to ask him where he bought it without sounding as if I knew he in fact had nothing to do with the actual cooking.

"You're from America, right?" he asked me a minute later, sipping his soda.

"Forks, Washington. Dullest and wettest town in America." 

"No way! I'm from the reservation there!"

Excitedly, I asked, "La Push?"

"Yeah! Hey, small world, huh?"

"Absolutely."

And so the night progressed, one of us (admittedly mostly Jacob...but like I said, I didn't do personal.) telling the other of our tales from Forks.

It was nearing eleven thirty when I finally left Jake's hall.

Unaccompanied.

Alright. So I know that that's incredibly needy of me. But... I don't know what. Truthfully, the only dates I'd ever been on were one in high school and the two I'd had this week. The guy in high school and... Edward... had both walked me to and from the door. So maybe I just thought that was normal. Maybe they were both...

I dispersed the thoughts in my head. I was exhausted from the date, my job, and all the emotional stress I've been through in the past twenty four hours or so. So, I trudged up the stairs to my dorm room; surprisingly, yet thankfully, uninterrupted. PJs on a few minutes later, I went downstairs to sleep on the couch once more. Hopefully the Ikea stuff would come soon. I already felt at least two knots slowly but surely forming.

My relatively casual day started at seven, where everyone gathered in more or less half an hour. It was actually quite nice, we all gathered round the TV (hmm... I should begin calling it the telly from now on...) with steaming coffee and watched BBC. Needless to say, my blush once more gave my emotions away. Hell, no one even asked me anything, I just blushed from the thought of finally having some sort of social group I belonged to. If you were me in High School, you'd know why I felt so relieved.

And then... wouldn't you know it. The furniture came.

Of course, Emmett had a little fun with that. Perfect time to show off his muscles, to Rosalie, no less.

In fact, by the time all cartons had been hauled in, the building was suffocating me with the tangibility of testosterone in the air. All male inhabitants had by then taken their shirt off (dammit, Edward saw me blushing at him) and were sparkling with sweat in the sunlight.

Which, if I was being perfectly honest, when all of them lined up, it was nothing less than the sexiest thing I'd seen. That went for all of them, though my mind knew it was mostly Edward. I'd given up arguing with myself.

Unbeknownst to me, there was also a rather large shipment of navy blue paint waiting for us as well. Seeing my questioning glance at the can, Rosalie dragged Alice and me to her room, making sure that we all had at least one can and paint brush.

"Ladies," she said, closing the door, "welcome to your new splatter paint arena."

"NO WAY!" Alice cried, jumping up and down. "I LOVE SPLATTER PAINTING!"

"You may have noticed that the paint is blue," Rosalie continued in an instructional, condescendingly patronizing tone. "At least I hope you noticed, I don't want complete morons in charge of my walls."

We nodded, giggling at her sarcastic tone. "Right. Well, as you can also see, the lines on this wall are all set up in the UK flag's formation. All I need now..."

"Is the blue," Alice and I finished. I had to admit, I was extremely excited for this. I saw a boom box in the corner, overalls, scrunchies, and all the furniture had been covered in plastic, and the floor in newspaper. We could do whatever the hell we wanted, take our anger out on the walls, have paint fights, and some plain, unadulterated girl time. With a whole lot of paint and brushes, I'd say we would be entertained for quite some time...

EPOV

I heard the screaming girls two floors below me. They sounded like they were having fun.

Meanwhile, I'm here just sitting. Literally. Abso-frickin-lutely nothing to do. I'd tried watching TV. Nothing. I'd tried reading and got stuck on the same paragraph. I'd listened to my iPod and couldn't hear the melodies or lyrics.

I wasn't even _dating _her and I was practically whipped.

Looking up at my ceiling for the millionth time, I finally noticed something different in the banal pattern. A little handle protruding from the tiles near the bathroom door.

Intrigued and with nothing else to do, I grabbed a chair and opened the hatch.

A pull-down ladder? Did this thing have an attic?

Stepping aside, I pulled the steps down and went up to the chilly unknown.

. . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Holy _hell_, but look at this! I was standing on the frickin' _penthouse roof_! Obviously this had been used before me; I saw various pieces of litter on the ground, and little decorative lights placed all around the perimeter. Even a potted plant. Hopefully not a marijuana plant...

_Bella would love this_, I thought before I could stop myself.

I sighed, my shoulders slumping. She would. And I would love to take her on a date up here. Were it not for my...reaction...

Well, Edward, you were wondering when it would hit you.

Is the cold air mixed with your pathetic rage enough?

BPOV

"Hands down, the worst two weeks of my life. The guy was completely anal-retentive. One sock out of place and he'd clean the whole house. Dumped him right when I saw his house," Rose concluded. As we painted (which was just about the most fun thing I'd ever done) we'd been sharing stories of our exes--unsurprisingly, I'd run out of exes about half an hour ago. Some of them were actually quite funny; Alice had met a guy once who refused to call her Alice but "Mary," which I had just learned is her first name.

"I actually met this guy who was the complete opposite. I went over to his place and there were candy wrappers, TV dinner cartons, old sweaters, anything, on any surface. Twizzlers being munched on by rats, remote stuck between a half eaten donut and a sofa cushion, and it smelled like barf. I left as soon as I came, but not before he told me, 'I even cleaned up for you!'" Alice shuddered. "Never again."

Our faces had matching expressions of horror. Simultaneously, we shook ourselves out of the terrorized stupor and began painting once more. We had taken different sections of the room: Alice near the bed, Rose pointing at the ceiling, and I had the wall where the door was. Every few seconds, a loud _splat_ of paint hitting the wall was heard. _Splat...Splat....Splat....Splat..._ It was as rhythmic as a heartbeat; I lost myself in the odd peacefulness of it.

"Did Bella tell you about her date yet?" Rosalie asked Alice out of the blue.

I widened my eyes and shot her a murderous glare, which she ignored completely.

Alice whipped her head around. "_Noooooooo_....Do tell, Bella dear."

I blushed, dipping my paint brush in the bucket once more. "It's nothing Alice."

"Wait. Did you go out with Edward?! Awww my little brother! I'm so proud of him..."

Indignantly, a blush filled my cheeks, and before I could help myself, I blurted out, "No. It wasn't with Edward. I mean it was. It wasn't. Not that one. But the other one. But it was that one. The other one was with another guy I met during that one."

"Well, why don't you explain 'that one' first. I'm inferring it was the first date," Alice said.

"Yeah. So, Edward and I went out and it just... failed, for lack of a more descriptive word. He went completely ballistic on me, and I don't even frickin' know _why_. And, even worse, I was a complete idiot and got emotional," I shook my head. "Look, can we just forget about it..." I trailed off when I saw Alice's expression.

"When."

"When what?"

"When did he go 'ballistic'?"

"Well, that leads me to 'this one.' This guy was jogging and he dropped his number by me and then Edward--" 

"Went insane. Oh my God, he is such an _idiot_! Look, don't worry, just let me deal with him and-"

"Alice, it's all done and over with. I'd rather not bring it up."

"Isn't it driving you insane?" I'm not sure if she noticed, but her eye began to twitch. "Why would he do such a thing?"

"Well, I'm sure you would know." Rosalie looked at me and snickered.

Alice threw me a withering look. "Just leave it to me. Don't argue. But who's this new guy? I gotta admit, he doesn't have the best timing..." begrudgingly, I agreed with her. Barging in on someone's date is not very smooth...

Rosalie shrugged. "Is he hot?" she asked, dead serious.

I was happy to answer this one. "Very. Native American, the brightest teeth, long black hair, and... yeah. He's not so bad shirtless, either."

"You already had se--" Alice began.

"NO," I replied forcefully, blushing madly. "He was shirtless when he was running." Alice nodded sagely.

"Well, I suppose we'll just see how everything goes. But as for this room... wow. I can't believe how awesome it came out."

"I concur. Fabulous job, girlies," Alice commended us.

"Absolutely. This is by far the prettiest and most unique room I've seen ever. Lucky Rosalie... getting to live here," I teased her.

Rose shrugged, unrepentant. "I guess so. But you guys aren't _banned_ from here or anything. Come anytime you want. In fact..." she rummaged around in her bag and produced two small objects. Alice and I, equally curious, went closer and gasped.

A small, swirling white, green, and pink glittery key with diamanté black _A_ was handed to Alice, and a blue and caramel striped key with a glittering white diamanté _B_ was handed to me.

"Keys to here, in case you guys hadn't figured that out," Rosalie said, smiling and pulling an identical chain out from underneath her paint stained shirt. A marble patterned olive green and sky blue key with a diamanté yellow _R_ stood against her white shirt.

"Ooh, and I found the prettiest keychains for them..." Rose dug in her bag some more and at last showed us what at first glance appeared to be a necklace, but was really a keychain you could wear _as_ a necklace. I attached my key

and hooked the jewelry around my neck.

"I'm not taking this off," I promised Rosalie.

"Me neither. This is so beautiful," Alice said, her eyes shining with tears and a watery smile planted on her face.

"The best gift you could have given us," I interjected. Alice nodded.

I couldn't help myself, I dove at Rosalie for a hug, speechless. Alice soon joined me, the force of the impact infinitesimal. Smiling like an idiot at my two friends, I pulled back, Alice following suit.

"Come over tonight. I wanna have a girl's night in before school starts. Fine Art is going to start with a bang according to my cousin, and I'm sure your classes will, too." Alice and I nodded. "Well then. Six tonight?"

"Sure!" Alice trilled, beaming. "And lock your door. I always _love_ using keys for the first time."

"It's fun, isn't it?" Rosalie agreed whole-heartedly. I rolled my eyes. Very random, very quickly.

"I'll see you guys at six then. I'm gonna go take a shower," I said, looking at my hair, sniffling teasingly. Rosalie had forgotten caps, so our hair was practically blue. She assured us it wasn't toxic; she wanted her whole room to be eco-friendly.

"Sorry about that guys," she apologized. We shrugged, heading towards the door.

"Six then," Alice said.

"Yup. Try to to entertain yourselves for four hours. I know it will be hard without me but... try." Rose encouraged.

I could still hear Alice laughing - and she could probably hear me - all the way from the fifth floor.

**AN: I can explain.**

**Pshh... that's what they all say. lol Seriously though, I **_**know**_** I promised Monday last week but everything piled on me at once. I deeply apologize for my absence. :( Longest chappie yet, I think... am I a suck-up? No. I just wrote a lot... [gets defensive] lol jk**

**I'm glad you all like the April Fools thing. I suck at pranking... so you guys made me feel hope. lol. It was by far the fastest response I've ever gotten for a chapter. :D Congrats!**

**Next update... hmm. Don't put this in Sharpie on your agenda, but pencil in... let's say.... the 7th? Possibly the 10th (or that weekend). I've got a huge school project the 17th, so it will be iffy updates for a few weeks....**

**Thanks for understanding and for keeping my inbox filled :)**

**Review plz!**

**-cullenite21**


	13. Chapter 13

**AN: Sorry for the AN before this, but here's the actual chappie. I lost my first draft when Word froze on me =/ **

**This is short, and forgive me if it's choppy. I'm getting in the swing of things again. Thanks again to everyone for keeping my inbox filled. I don't think I can express how much your support means to me.**

Normally, the sound of rain during the night numbs me down enough to go to sleep. After all, if you live in Forks, it's kind of necessary to get used to it, or you may as well become an insomniac.

Not tonight, though, tonight it was one of _those _nights, where no matter what you cannot sleep. The rain echoed inside my mind, racketing back and forth, getting progressively louder, and all around giving me a massive headache.

First day of classes would be absolutely wonderful tomorrow.

I lay on my bed, which I had decided to place right next to one of my three floor length windows. The stars weren't very visible tonight, I noticed as I gazed outside. It was just blackness engulfing me, creating different shadows all around the room, the rain streaking down in black and silver lines on my window.

Tonight had been nothing if not interesting. I thought back to my conversation with Rosalie and Alice, where I'd spilled the beans on all my thoughts about both Edward and Jacob. How my indecision was driving me insane, and how the date with Jake had me thinking twice about both of them.

"Honey," Alice had said comfortingly after my flood of words had finally passed, "I know you like them both, but it wouldn't be good if you kept leading them both on. You're going to have to choose, sooner rather than later."

"I know," I had sniffed, Rosalie handing me the Kleenex. They gave me a minute to decide, each becoming quite interested in things around them.

_Who? _It was the one word question that was more complex than it should be. I thought I'd resigned myself from liking Edward, but apparently no such thing had occurred. I thought about the way that Edward made me feel: from what I could sum up from the past few days, he cared about ones he loved. And even though he certainly didn't love me, he at least looked out for me. That was all he had been trying to do right? But what gave him the right to look out for the people I date? I'd reasoned with myself.

So, against all reason, I had uttered the one deciding word.

"Jacob."

"The morning after aches and pains have kept you up is always horrible--" the TV commercial shouted.

"Emmett," I croaked, "Emmett turn it down, please."

"Aw, did Bellsy have a wee too much to drink last night?" he questioned in an awful Australian accent.

"No, I didn't sleep because I had a headache, which is now a migraine."

"That sucks." Emmett quickly returned to his normal voice and turned down the TV, if only for a bit. Not only had I had a horrible night, but I now had a pounding migraine threatening to burst. I was already running late for my first day of class and stress was not helping. I double checked my bag: textbooks were there, required reading was there, reports...one, two, three..fo-

Shit.

Where was the fourth? Did I not print it? Oh hell, this was not good.

I leapt off the couch, ignoring the searing pain it brought to my head, as I sprinted dizzily to the door of the lounge.

Where I bumped straight into Edward. Yay.

"Um...hi," his cool, somehow already sweet smelling breath, made my head spin even more. "Can I help you?"

"Uh...report! Printer with computer...I mean...printer connecting to computer...I, uh...um-"

"You need a printer?" he clarified. I nodded vigorously, again neglecting the pain in my head, and noting the time on the clock overhead. Crap, fifteen minutes till class.

Still, I couldn't help but notice through my stress, that even though I chose Jacob, Edward's arms felt warm and secure around me, better by far than Jake's. Edward hadn't let go yet, but I hadn't reminded him either.

I was so screwed.

"Emmett!" Edward called as I internally cringed at his voice.

"What?" he boomed back. I breathed in deeply. How awful lectures would be, I didn't want to think about.

"Can you show Bella the printer?"

Oh. You cannot be serious.

Bella, we're gonna need to work on that attention range. Emmett strode to a desk at the far end of the room, just behind where I had been sitting, and pointed to a small printer as he grinned, then ran back to the kitchen.

Edward's arms loosened and I stepped away awkwardly, blushing as I tripped past him to grab my laptop and print the last report.

"Pages 20 to 60 explain this topic further, and you'll be reading them tonight. I expect everyone to have a full understanding of the meaning of each genre of literature. Don't try to skim this, because I'll know." The withered teacher gave us the evil eye as he spoke loudly. I typed the assignment feverishly as a note and placed it in the center of my laptop's background, saving my class notes in a folder and nearly slamming my computer in my hurry. Rushing out with the rest of the students, I bumped into quite a few people, but couldn't be bothered. My migraine hadn't gone away, and my first ever class had been pure hell. People had begun to ask me if I had a nerve disorder with all the wincing I'd done.

I didn't have another class for an hour, which was the first lucky break I'd caught in a bit. Perhaps I could stop somewhere and buy some aspirin. And then down it with espresso. Was that dangerous?

Ten minutes on my way to the campus coffee shop, I passed by Rose, but she had no time for more than a quick hello. Laden with textbooks, a huge purse, and a huge coffee, she shouted her greeting before walking quickly off to her next class. No doubt would that be me in a few months.

In the shop, where I reminded myself that I had work today, the smell of strong coffee cleared my migraine instantly, and I stood for a moment just clearing my pain. Then realizing what an odd stance I was in, I scurried over and ordered two shots of espresso and a large coffee - straight black. This needed to keep me going all day.

I took a seat near the window, taking advantage of the few minutes rest I could afford for now. I noted all the other tired-looking students, books splayed all over their small coffee tables, highlighters in hand with massive passages to be read. Once in a while, they'd feel for their coffee and drink it absentmindedly.

As weird as it sounded, even in my head, I rather liked the idea of being one of them. Of being under pressure for homework, learning loads of things everyday. Of being an adult in college. Though I was pretty sure I wouldn't be going to keggers.

Yeah, I definitely got _way_ too little sleep last night.

Checking the clock above the doorway, I saw I had a forty minutes before classes began, so I opened up my backpack and placed my textbook on the counter near the window, flipping it open to page 20. I reached into my bag again for a pen, but my fingers came up empty. Biting my lip, I looked around. I needed this extra time, I already knew, if my other classes were anything like the one I just had. I could just be over preparing, but if I wanted sleep tonight...

I noticed a girl sitting next to me: iPod headphones in with a half eaten croissant next to her, as well as a few highlighters, pens and pencils. Not wanting to be rude, I slowly pointed to a pen, about to grab it, when she looked up. Of course, I blushed and did an extremely awkward hand motion. I think it was supposed to be a wave.

"Uh, I need a pen and I was wondering if I could maybe use yours?" I asked feebly.

She gestured warmly for me to take it, smiling a kind smile before going back to her text. I grabbed the nearest pen and brought my hand back, thankfully without knocking down anything.

Thirty minutes passed quicker than it would have even if I was having fun. Which I was, don't get me wrong, but I'd only read twelve pages. The thing I thought earlier about 'being under a deadline'.... and liking it?

Jeez, was I so _naive_!

* * *

It was eight when I returned home from the coffee shop. "Pages twenty to sixty, written piece before Thursday, chapter four by Wednesday," I muttered to myself repeatedly as I changed into my PJs and splayed my textbooks on my desk. Every hour or so I'd have to get up and pace for a bit to let all the information sink in before I went back straight to studying.

It was nearly midnight before I finished reading everything and writing half of my paper. It was stupid to leave the other half for tomorrow, but I needed to stop or I would probably pass out. I saved the seventeen pages of notes on my computer, then stood up and went to go print them out.

Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett were on opposite ends of the room, their books in front of them along with a large mug of coffee each. I sent the pages to print, snatched them and went back up to my room. There was only one disadvantage to my room, and that was I'd have to climb up at least fifty stairs each time I wanted to go up and down. Oh well, at least I've found a way to get my exercise.

Already having eaten at the coffee shop, I flopped on my bed, absolutely exhausted. I set my alarm for seven the next morning, and fell asleep almost before I shut my eyes. Welcome to college, Bella.

The next day passed much the same as before, and work was pretty easy. I soon found out that the atmosphere was very relaxed and cozy. Madelia, my boss, was humming around cleaning the counter, and I was picking up after the tables. Absolutely no one was in the café, which was kind of nice, as it allowed me to continue studying. I had just one more page to write for Thursday's paper when Madelia spoke.

"Pardon if I'm being a little nosy, dear, but I was just wondering whatever happened to that nice young man who accompanied you here just a fortnight ago. I haven't seen him since."

Of course, I should have known sweet old Madelia would ask about Edward. "Erm...he's a friend of mine, we're roommates." I blushed as I realized how she might take that statement. I quickly went back to jotting down ideas for the last page structure.

"He's quite a handsome friend you've got there!" she laughed.

* * *

September flashed in an instant, and soon it was mid October. I'd gotten the hang of things, albeit I'd lost countless hours of sleep during that process. Often times Madelia let me go early; near six business slowed substantially because everyone was off in their dorms or in the library studying. One day, though, I willingly stayed until my shift was over.

It was sometime near five, and everyone coming now was just grabbing the final quick fix they needed to get started. One girl in particular opted to stay and study in the coffee shop, which neither Madelia or I minded. I was just going over the things I'd have to start on when I smelled the strong coffee done brewing. Hastily pouring a large mug, I brought it over to the counter where she was studying. And then proceeded, out of my instinctual clumsiness to spill a lot of it onto her notebook.

"Oh, crap crap crap I am so sorry!" I sputtered, trying to wipe it off. "You have no idea how clumsy I am, I just cannot do anything without tripping or spilling something." I rambled on.

She chuckled quietly. "It's fine-that notebook's empty. The coffee didn't get anywhere else."

I rubbed furiously at the coffee slowly seeping toward her work, securing it didn't get anywhere else.

"Um, sorry to ask, but do I know you? You seem familiar..." she asked me shyly. I looked over. She did seem familiar.

"Yeah...weren't you here last week?" 

"Ye--I lent you something! Oh, I was so rude, I didn't introduce myself; I'm Angela Webber."

"Isabella Swan, but everyone calls me Bella. Are you a freshman?"

"Yeah, I'm from America, from Wyoming. Kind of boring, but I'm kind of a nerd anyways. Tons of sports sure, but I'm not up for that. What about you?"

"I'm new here, too, but I'm from Washington. Rainiest place ever; it was like diving into the ocean everyday. What are you studying?"

"Classical archaeology and ancient history. Fascinating stuff, ancient ruins. And you?"

"English literature. I'm a huge bookworm." I sat down, pocketing the wet cloth. "What hall are you in?"

"208, not so badly placed. I don't know my roomies very well, though. You?"

"103, but it's kind of awkward with one of my roommates; Edward Cullen."

"You know Edward Cullen?" she gaped. I blushed.

"Yeah, how do you know him?"

"Well, he's taking english, too, right?" I nodded. "I was going to take that as a second choice, and I saw him at the introduction." Her eyes glazed as she gazed at the ceiling. "Is he gorgeous or what?"

I swallowed hard. "Yes," I muttered begrudgingly. "but he's got quite a temper on him."

Angela looked taken aback. "Temper?"

"Yeah I uh...I kind of sort of went out with him and--" 

"You went out with him?!" She whisper-screeched. I nodded feebly. "Oh my, are you lucky..."

"Only once though, I'm dating someone else now."

"Why?"

"Long story short, he just hurt me. Anyways," I went on quickly, "I'm dating this other guy, Jacob Black?" Angela furrowed her eyebrows. "What?" 

"He dated my cousin back in Washington, she got played big time. I'd be careful if I were you, he tends to favor having more than one girl at a time. Say...maybe four? It's disgusting."

I pursed my lips. "Really? He hasn't shown any signs." Angela shrugged.

"Maybe he's changed." She may have said it, but I could tell she didn't believe it.

Moments of pensive silence passed before I spoke again. "...Even though he's got a temper, I still like him," I admitted in a hushed whisper. "But I can't decide. I mean, I have decided, I'm dating Jake. And things have been good; I mean, he's really sweet, and we've been on a couple of really nice dates. Sure he needs to pick up a newspaper once in a while, and maybe he _should_ chew some Orbit for his dirty mouth; he's got the mouth of a sailor. But I still like him, a lot.

"But I love Edward's smile, and his manners, and his personality, and his kindness, and his values, and his bed head, and his intellectuality, and his all around perfection and..." I stopped myself, a realization hitting me with the force of a battering ram.

"I made the wrong choice, didn't I?" I breathed.

Angela frowned. "Er...well, do you like Jake?"

"Yes! But I like Edward, too!" I leaned back, sighing. "This never happened in high school."

She clicked her tongue. "Think about it, sweetie. Jacob's a player, we already know, and you just listed a whole bunch of things you like about Edward."

"But...but..." I stammered. "I..Jake..."

"I know, it's hard to choose. Go out again, decide, sleep on it. I've actually got to go, I've got classes at seven tomorrow." She hopped off the stool she was sitting on. "Good luck, I'll see you tomorrow, I guess."

"Yeah," I mumbled, staring out the window as I thought through my choices. The bell _ting_ed, signaling that she was gone. I sat there for who knows how long just comparing the two, when I knew I was fighting a losing battle.

I chose Edward long ago.

EPOV

_It's getting colder here. I'm bundling up, don't worry. Thanks for the scarf, by the way._

_Alice and Emmett are fine, and my new roommates, Jasper, Rosalie, and Bella, are all quite nice._

_I've got to go study now, the homework is tiring, but I'm learning loads. _

_I'll check for tickets to Port Angeles for Christmas, but if not we're still going to our summer house in Wales, definitely._

_Say hi to dad for me._

_Love, _

_Edward._

I clicked 'send' and a _whoosh_ sounded, telling me Esme had just received it. How I loved the internet.

I pulled on a sweatshirt and scarf and headed out for a nice walk before starting homework. I was procrastinating, which was kind of weird for me, but I couldn't shake the feeling that there was a reason I was walking.

I let my feet take me wherever the pavement was, enjoying the sights of the range of hues; oranges, yellows, reds. Leaves crunched beneath my feet, and it was the only sound in the air. The sky was a dim gray; it would be dark soon. Though the air was brisk, it wasn't at all the coldest I'd experienced.

I soon realized where I was: the small coffee shop where Bella and I had come that first night. I shivered, thinking back to it.

Two girls were sitting near the window and with a second glance, I knew one of them was Bella. I started; what was she doing there?

Quickly, though I knew I was being intrusive, I walked past the window and leaned on a wall just beyond their sight. Listening as casually as I could, I shoved my hands in my pockets, straining my ears.

And suddenly, my day was brilliant.

"Yes!" I heard Bella's voice float faintly through what obviously must've been a very thin window. "But I like Edward, too!"

I closed my eyes in contentment.

I still had a chance. And I wouldn't screw this one up.

BPOV

The third week of October classes began to pick up pace, which was fine with me, so long as I did nothing else. Work had been harder to squeeze in; Madelia was so generous, she sometimes let me skip some days.

Though, on the Tuesday before Halloween, I saw the front entrance to our hall filled with bags from some sort of fancy store; I could tell because I knew they were Alice's.

"Alice!" I called out. She bounded out from her room a few feet away.

"What are all these?" I questioned her curiously.

"Decorations, silly! We're having a costume party!"

"A...what?"

"Costume party! Everyone's invited...Emmett started the tradition last year..." she shrugged. "From what I've heard, it gets pretty intense. In a fun way, though." She beamed cheerily.

I nodded distantly and headed upstairs, wondering how I would avoid a booming party below me.

"And Bella!" Alice called.

"Yeah?" I turned around, unwilling to hear what she would say next.

"Don't try to ditch this. I've got you a costume already..." she warned me sternly, skipping away.

**AN: Love it, hate it? Review it!**

**cullenite21**


	14. Chapter 14

**AN: Hope you guys like this chappie :) I'm sorry it took forever. I'm very bad at updating x( Thanks for sticking with me, though. I love you all in a strictly platonic way :)**

**Actually, just a heads up: I will be on vacation with limited internet access for about three weeks starting on Wednesday...sooo... yeup. I'll be writing though! Consider this my departing (temporarily lol) gift. I think this is my longest chappie yet...**

BPOV

Alice barged in right as I was grabbing my apron for work. She cleared her throat loudly, as if I hadn't heard her.

"Alice, I know you're there. What's up?"

"What's _up_ is that the party is in an hour and a half!" Shit. "And you've got to get ready!"

No good was to come of this. Absolutely none.

Hands flew in front of my eyes and I yelped. "Alice, what's that for?"

"I know you're going to freak about your costume, so I wanted to surprise you and give you a double shock!" she explained cheerily.

My shoulders slumped. The lounge had been decorated yesterday evening - no one save Alice and Emmett had been allowed in since then. Apparently the entirety of both Alice and Rosalie's classes had agreed to come, as well as half of Emmett's. And then there was word of mouth. I had expected to just squeeze behind the sweaty bodies and hide myself, but who was I to think that Alice would give me that option?

"...Okay!" she squealed. "Open your eyes!" I obliged and my breath whooshed out of me as the costume registered in my mind. Which took no less than thirty seconds.

"Hells to the frickin' no Alice. No, no, no, no, _no_! I am _not_ going to look like a stripper!" It was a two-piece costume, consisting of a vest and the shortest skirt I'd ever seen. I was debating on whether or not I should be calling it a loincloth.

"Oh, come on, don't be a party pooper! I'm even letting you wear flats!" Just try it on, please? Please?" she gave me puppy dog eyes and a small pout. Not even a small child could accomplish what she was doing now. Without another word I snatched the costume from her bed and bit my lip when I realized that the material was practically see-through. Oh, boy. The things I get dragged into.

I hadn't the slightest idea to put it on, so eventually I just settled with putting it on over my clothes, which would be hilarious in any other circumstance. When I emerged sheepishly, a short skirt over my jeans and a tight, deep purple fitted vest over my white shirt, Alice groaned with exasperation.

"Damn, Bella, this is your first party, isn't it?" I nodded, wondering why she sounded as if this was some sort of blasphemy. "Come here," she said, gesturing to herself. When I hesitated, she added, "I don't bite, Bella, come _here_." I was tugged over.

"Alice, what are you--" but she hushed me.

"Okay, Bells," she said after a moment's consideration. "I'm going to need you to take off your shirt and pants. Go back in there and change."

"W-wh--hell no!" I spluttered. "I can't do that, I just can't Alice."

"Argh! Fine then, add a garter belt." I shook my head vehemently. "Knee highs?" I shook my head again. "Stockings. That's my final offer." I sighed.

"Is there no way around the skirt?" she shook her head. "What about the vest thing?"

"The vest _thing_? It's just a vest, Bella, not an alien. And no, absolutely nothing can be done to the vest. I don't mind if you wear a bra or not, but nothing can be done to it."

"Alice," I choked out, "I think I just threw up a bit in my mouth." She rolled her eyes.

"Hilarious Bella. There's no way out of this. Now go, go, go!" she shooed me into the bathroom, where I whiled away minutes by wondering if escape was futile. I was brought back into reality with sharp rapping on my door. "Bella, the party's in an hour!"

I remembered suddenly my only hope of escape: "Alice, I've got work tonight!" I stated with glee.

"No you don't! That's already taken care of!" she replied just as happily. "Now hustle your bustle and get ready!" I didn't bother asking her how she got me off work, but I'd find out later.

Awkwardly - _extremely_ awkwardly - I put on the vest and skirt, on the verge of hyperventilation. Why, oh why, were Halloween parties automatically associated with revealing outfits on girls and drunk jocks?

Five minutes later I emerged from the bathroom, vest and bra on as well as the skirt.

"Oh, you went _with_ the bra! Ooh, Bella's showing some _lace_ is she?" Alice practically yelled. I frantically tried to shut her up, and she eventually complied.

"Just...shh! Shush shush shush shush!" I whisper-yelled. "I wanted some shred of dignity, Alice, I'm not going to show my actual bra." Alice cocked her head in confusion. I sighed as I explained: "The vest will be pulled down. Nothing of my underwear will be shown. And I have _no _idea how this is called a skirt," I added as an afterthought, gesturing to the small piece of black fabric clinging to my hips.

"Oh, I've seen worse, Bella, believe me. You look great, I promise. There's a mirror over there if you don't believe me." I declined her offer, knowing if I saw myself I would probably not have the guts to go through with Alice's party.

"Jeez, Alice, I don't even know why you want me to do this," I muttered as I sat down unwillingly at her vanity, preparing for the ambush of powder and lipstick that was to come. "I mean, I'm just going to be sitting alone. Unless Jake's coming, in which case I'll probably hide in the bathrooms."

Alice turned to face me, her face more stern and terrifying than I'd ever seen it. I swallowed hard but stood my ground.

"Isabella. Marie. Swan." she hissed, punctuating each word so that the drove into me. "Do _not_ for one _second_ think that you'll be alone tonight. I know what you're implying, missy, so you can just stop it this instant," she finished quickly yet extremely intimidatingly.

"Bu-- fine, Alice," I ceased my protest upon seeing the fiery look in her eye. "I'll do this. But if Jake is there--"

"Then he'll probably be very happy." she finished for me. "And speaking of happy, imagine Edward's face!" she laughed giddily. "Ooh, I can't wait!"

* * *

One hour later, I opened the door to my room, made up beyond recognition. In any other situation, I would have fervently refused makeup, but tonight was the exception to the rule. The less people who knew who I was, the better. And, despite what Alice had said earlier, I _would_ be sitting in a corner tonight. No drunken dancing for me, thanks.

The little pixie known as Alice followed suit as I walked down the hall, ducking stupidly at every little creak. I didn't know why _I _was worried though; looking at Alice I was surprised she wasn't naked. She was wearing a top folded through at the bust and Daisy Dukes.

"And...what exactly are you, again, Alice?" I asked her hesitantly, afraid of the answer.

"Pshaw, Bella, no one's _dressed up _as anything, the goal is just to have fun and be wild! C'mon, you're a college kid now, have some fun! But, if you really must know," she added quietly, "I kind of wanted to go country so Jasper would notice. Shh," she whispered with a smile. I said nothing and just descended the stairs cautiously, feeling as if I was about to vomit. Was the bra my best idea? It seemed silly now that I realized I wouldn't be able to cover it up.

"Alice, can I--"

"Yes," she cut me off.

"You didn't know what I was going to ask you!"

"Do you really know that?" she asked me cryptically. Upon seeing my confused face, she laughed. "Yes you can store your bra in my room. Happy?"

"Hey!" Rose bounded out of her room in, like Alice, next to nothing, instead this time it was a form fitting babydoll with about half the stomach cut off, and a skirt similar to mine. "Bella, we match!" she chuckled giddily.

"So I guess the point of your costume is to have Emmett notice?" I quipped as I noticed the sports jersey-ness of her shirt. Rosalie threw me a look that told me to be quiet, to which I snickered but complied.

"Is Jake coming?" Rosalie asked me as we began on our way to the third floor, which filled me with dread. Third floor was Jasper's floor. Even if I didn't like him in _that _way, I covered up self-consciously.

"I dunno, he didn't say anything when I called him yesterday." In fact, he'd rarely spoken to me at all, saying he had mounds of homework before cutting the line. But hey, I'm sure he was doing something important. More important than speaking to his girlfriend, even.

Without me noticing, we'd somehow gotten to the third floor and, more importantly, reached the vicinity of boys. I heard faint cursing and a few things dropping as we reached Jasper's door. Unanimously, wordlessly, we all agreed to wait for him. A moment later his doorknob jingled and opened to reveal a startling zombie costume, spattered in "blood." His blond hair peeked out from the top, a comical contrast, and his face was paler than usual, a sickly green tint to it. Standing next to him, the lack of clothing we had was amusing.

He looked past Rosalie and I before his eyes landed on Alice, promptly bulging at the sight of her. Probably not knowing what he was doing - ironic considering his zombie costume - he walked over to her and, without speaking, took her hand tenderly before bringing it to his lips. The moment was so...theirs, it almost felt as if I should leave the building. Alice, to my intense surprise, blushed a rosy pink before she and Jasper walked, nearly skipped, down the stairs, leaving Rosalie and I.

We stood together, watching them disappear for a moment, before I spoke. "Well, that settles that, I suppose."

"Yeah. Good for her, but lets just hope Emmett reacts the same. And, y'know, Jake, too, Bella." she added quickly.

"No need to worry, Rose, I'm not sure he's even coming tonight."

"Really?" she asked, curious. We began to walk downstairs again as she continued: "So who are you going to hang with tonight?"

I shrugged as we reached the landing of the second floor, Emmett's floor. "I was hoping to just stand alone in a corner. Sweaty grinding is really not my thing," I looked over at her with a grimace.

"But it is mine," a familiar resonating voice said. We turned over to Emmett in surprise, and I saw Rosalie discreetly, uncharacteristically, twisting her hands in anxiety behind her back.

"Damn, Bells, you got legs!" Emmett laughed when I blushed furiously, muttering a weak excuse blaming Alice. _At least he's not looking at my chest,_ I thought.

Emmett's eyes roamed over to Rosalie, and he swallowed hard. Some might take it as an offense, of course, but clearly that was not his intention, as he walked over in his gangster costume and grabbed her wrist gently. He dragged a giggling Rosalie downstairs, their intentions mutual, and something I probably didn't want to think about.

So that left me. Alone. _Gee, Bella, contain the surprise, would ya? _

I briefly considered changing into sweats and ditching the party, but there was a small, tingling gut feeling that I couldn't ignore. I had already gone this far, hadn't I?

On an extremely weird impulse, I continued down the stairs, almost robotically. My brain screamed at me: _What. Are. You. _Doing_?! _It was inexplainable. I just continued downstairs, stopping only at Alice's room to adjust my costume - I still didn't know what it was supposed to be resembling - and, in a haze, opened the door to the lounge.

I'd expected something like this: yarn spiderwebs, red paper crafted expertly to look like blood. Decorations aside, I'd expected something of a large crowd.

What I didn't expect, however, were the masses of people taking up every square inch of the room, gyrating their hips to the screaming beat and downing large plastic cups full of alcohol. The room smelt of raw liquor, sweat, and just had that all around smell of heat. I snapped back into my senses and nearly screamed. What was I thinking? I needed to get out of here before anyone could recognize me. Alice and Emmett had managed to hook up a number of pulsing lights, making the makeup on my face unbearable. I was starting to panic, which was quite dorky of me, I realized. I couldn't even handle a party. Typical Bella. This is what I get for being raised by a cop during my high school years.

I started to back out and was immediately plowed back in by a couple of already drunk male juniors. Their thick frames stupidly intimidated me, so I edged closer in, finding a wall near me and hastily sprinting to it in my relief. I pressed myself to the cool plaster, my brain spitting out different adrenaline based ideas as to how to get out before someone dragged me in even further.

"Bell_ah_!" Emmett saw me and dragged himself over.

"Join the party. _C'mon!_" he added when I didn't budge. Biding my time, I commented on his strangely unruly hair, to which he grinned slyly,

"Bells, even you can figure that one out. But anyways, guess who's here?!" he nearly shouted. Not that it made much of a difference; the music booming loudly made everything almost impossible to hear.

"I don't know Emmett, but you sound like Alice right now," I quipped. "Who?" I asked after he threw me a withering look.

"Eddie!" he squealed, as much as could be done considering that he was a guy.

I gulped. "Excuse me as I go run away, Emmett." I tried to get past him and again I was grabbed, though painlessly as Emmett obviously knew his strength, and prodded back.

"Don't you want him to piss himself when he sees you?" he shook his head. "That's not the point. Make him drunk, Bella, _please. _I've been dying to see him drunk. He's never touched alcohol, ever. He can't hold it that well!" My eyes widened at his proposition.

"Emmett! That's your brother!" I scolded him. His face was apathetic.

"Your point is?" he questioned after a moment.

"My point is that you don't want him to be humiliated, do you?"

"You don't have siblings, do you Bella?"

Caught off guard, I answered. "No. But-"

"That's what I thought. Look, all I'm asking is that you just walk by him. Talk to hi-"

"_No_. Emmett, I didn't want to wear this in the first place!"

"But you look so great in it!" a happy voice behind me piped up. "Hi!"

"Alice, Emmett wants me to-"

"I _know_ isn't it brilliant?! Even when we were in high school, Edward didn't touch a drop of alcohol. Now's our chance to see him drunk! Surely he can't handle his liquor well."

"That's what I said!" Emmett cut in.

"You guys are so mean to him!" I protested, buying my time.

"Mean to who?" Jasper's throaty voice came from nearby. Alice leapt to his side, hugging him as he asked me again.

"Edward," I replied, flushing unfathomably.

"Well, shouldn't you want to go along with it? Get some revenge?" Alice asked before Jasper could reply.

"Honestly, Alice, I'm beyond over that." _Liar, that's the biggest load of bull I've ever heard._ "I'm not going through with it, Emmett. Look, I'm going to get some punch. Is it spiked?" I added as an afterthought. All eyes went to Emmett, who immediately scrunched up his nose in thought.

"Well, _I _for one did not spike anything...except Tyler's drink. C'mon, it had to be done!" he protested after everyone threw him an impatient look. "But I think I saw someone drop a bid of something in there. So yeah Bella, don't try it if you don't want a hangover. There's water in the kitchen, though."

"Just keep in mind, vodka and water look very much alike," Jasper quipped, sending everyone into a bout of laughter. Quickly, I snuck away, trying to hide myself in the massive crowd.

Okay. So really all I had to do was avoid Edward, because everyone else here appeared to be extremely drunk and would not remember anything by tomorrow. The only flaws with this plan was that I had absolutely no idea where Edward was at the moment, nor what he looked like, so he could pop up from behind me at any moment wearing a hockey mask spattered with red paint and a fake chainsaw -- who was I to know know how much he liked horror? -- and I wouldn't have the slightest idea beforehand.

Maybe, though, if I could just find his hair... the only distinct thing in this crowd would be his hair.

Standing on my tip toes, stretching as high as I could go, I scanned the crowd before deducing that finding him was hopeless in the best case scenario. Maybe he'd been able to ditch. Did he like parties?

So, as planned, I strolled over to the nearest wall and sunk down cross legged, before realizing what I was wearing, and promptly jumped, glancing around worriedly, wondering if anyone had spotted me. Ridiculous, seeing as I had been at feet level.

Lovely, I can't even sit, and goodness knows how long this party'll be.

The same style of blaring music became monotonous, allowing me to void out all noises and fall into a semi-zoned out state, and, more importantly, it allowed me to sort out my thoughts that had been put on the back burner of my mind.

What I had said to Angela was true, of course. But questions still remained: if I felt like that, why was I still with Jacob? Was there a point of still being with him? Where would it all lead? What if he found out? The questions mulled around in my head, my futile attempt at response not fast enough as more questions spun slowly, multiplying until it became dizzying. One question fished itself out of the rest, blaring in neon lights as if right in front of my eyes.

If I like Edward so much more, was I using Jake now? That brought on a whole other round of questions. I shook my head, trying to dilute the mayhem.

Using... if I was using Jake, I'd obviously be dating him to gain something from someone else; _______  dates ________ to gain ________.

The blanks filled instantly, without my consent: _Bella_ dates _Jacob_ to gain _Edward._

Oh, damn it.

No use fighting instinct; it just couldn't be done.

But I had to.

Somehow, it had to switch to _Bella_ dates _Jacob_. No gaining, no love triangles, nothing. _Bella_dates _Jacob_. I repeated it like a mantra in my head, feeling as if I was reading off of a phonics book.

_Bella_ dates _Jacob_.

_Bella _dates _Jacob_.

_Bella_ dates _Jacob. _

_Bella_ dates _Jacob_ to gain _Edward._

I groaned and tried a different tactic of fooling my brain.

Edward was simply unavailable. Not in that he had a girlfriend (not that I knew, anyways) but that he just didn't like me like that. He didn't see me as attractive. What was new? I hoped that living in such close proximity wouldn't deter him from seeing me as a friend, but what would happen when he did get a girlfriend? Would I be able to handle it?

_Of course_, I reasoned with myself, _it's just a crush, Bella. Crushes go away._

But until then, I needed to figure out how I would deal with Jake. I really did not feel anything for him anymore; I wasn't sure if I really had felt anything for him at all. Had he been a distraction all this time? I couldn't tell. I needed to break up with Jacob. That much I could figure out on my own. I wasn't going to dump him because I wanted to date Edward.

_But I _do _want to date him._

I sighed. Even my mind was against me. Like I'd said, there was no use fighting instinct.

I leaned my head back and closed my eyes. It couldn't have been more than half an hour but I was already sick of this party. Sometimes, even I could admit, parties could be fun. Not, however, when random perverts were all around, and looking me up and down. Which wasn't scarring in the slightest way, oh no.

"Hey buttercup," a guy slurred next to me, hiccuping. I think I just vomited a bit in my mouth. "Wanna see the sunsh--"

"Hell no, get away!" I screeched, not giving a crap about the guy's feelings as I walked, nearly ran, away into the sea of people. He wouldn't remember tomorrow, especially when he was going to wake up with one of the hundreds of playboy bunnies in here.

I panted as I stood to rest in the middle of the crowd, the exact opposite of where I'd wanted to be. The crowd would not cease to move, making it hard to navigate my way around seeing as everyone was so tall. I silently cursed myself for not listening to Alice's advice and wear heels.

_Oh boy, Bella, you know things are bad when you're upset you didn't wear heels._

Slowly but surely I reached the other end of the throng of people. Idly, I thought of where Alice and the others were, but most importantly where Edward wa--

"Bella?"

Oh, _shit_.

Speak of the devil, and he shall appear.

I had two options here: I could lie, pretend I'd not heard him and I could continue on my way. Or, I could be brave and face my fears in the eye. My eyebrow furrowed; if I didn't face him now, was I a coward?

_Duh_.

"Bella?" he repeated, softer now as he probably thought I was someone else and thought himself stupid for asking. I couldn't have that; he was smart enough to recognize me from the back and he shouldn't think otherwise. Without thinking, I spun around, my hair probably smacking others around me.

"Edward!" I cried, falsely ecstatic. "Hi!"

I couldn't determine exactly what I felt next, but his emotions were quite clear as they were portrayed through his facial expressions. Shock, sadness, restraint, anger, and... dare I say it, lust?

Bah, must be the lighting. **(AN: Fluorescence!)**

"Hey," he muttered, his eyes a bit unfocused and searching somewhere beyond my left shoulder. I turned but saw nothing. Oh, well.

EPOV

The multicolored lights flashed at different intervals, turning the room bright pink one moment and pitch black the next. It was more than enough to give me a serious migraine.

As planned, I was being a wallflower, riding out the party which, if I knew Alice, would last into the wee hours of the morning. Girls in petty, degrading outfits sauntered up to me, whispering to me. Good thing I couldn't hear them; I was sure I didn't want to know what they were saying. After a moment or two the message passed through their drunken minds and they pranced up to the next guy. Fine with me.

My mind eventually numbed out everything and allowed me to hear my own thoughts. _Finally_.

I thought back to what Bella had said that day she was at the coffee shop. Was there really hope? It had been so long, and I was still sulking. I couldn't mess this up _again_. This was my last chance at going out with her...becoming her boyfriend...loving her.

I shook my head. I couldn't think ahead of myself. There was always the chance that she'd end up loving Jake, if she didn't already.

I would have thought that I would feel spite towards this, which I did, of course, but I mostly just felt happy for her. Happy that she found someone that enjoyed her presence as much as she enjoyed theirs, and more.

But...if it didn't work out. If I _did_, in fact, have a chance. Would I take it?

_What the hell do _you_ think Edward?_

_I dunno, what do I think?_

Oh, Lord. Things are bad when you argue with yourself. Again, I shook my head to disperse my puerile thoughts.

And that was when I saw it. _Her._

I knew it was Bella before she even turned around. Her extreme amount of pale skin gave it away. I did not mentally reprimand Bella for this, but had I not just chastised other girls for wearing revealing outfits? The difference between them and Bella was that she was doing this for Alice, they were doing it to show themselves off to guys.

"Bella?"

Oh, _shit_. Please tell me I did not just call her.

I saw her shoulders stiffen for a moment. Obviously it was her, why didn't she want me to know?

As I thought of various and unrealistic answers, she turned around, planting a fake, cheery smile on her face.

"Edward! Hi!"

I clamped my mouth shut. If I didn't, incoherent words would be stuttered and spewed out. This would not only embarrass me, but most likely Bella as well.

I tried to keep my face in check, wary of how many emotions would pass. However, I could not help be shocked by her appearance. How beautiful she looked! And not in a sense of lust, though that thought had long before crossed my mind, but the way she simply radiated poise, even when faced with clothing such as this, clothing that would demean anyone else. The way she carried herself made it seem as though she really _wasn't_ doing this for attention.

And that was the biggest difference between her and everyone else here. She was special in that she was selfless.

BPOV

After a few minutes of extremely awkward, choppy and stilted conversation with Edward, I decided to tell him that I was turning in for the night, which was entirely true. It was past midnight, so Alice really wouldn't mind that much. I hoped.

For the first time that night I thanked the heavens that this party had accumulated so much people, because then Alice would practically never find me. Besides, she had Jasper to keep her company, of which I was extremely happy, and not just because I wanted to get away.

The sharp contrast between the volume inside the party, and when I exited was enough to make my ears ring. Not to say that it wasn't loud in the hallway, but there was a significant difference.

I walked uncomfortably through the throng of couples making out and walked up the stairs, only to be greeted by Emmett and Rosalie themselves, also one of the couples feeling each other. Obviously they didn't see me, which was a relief through the monumental mental scarring. That was something I could have lived without witnessing.

I continued up the stairs with my head down, finally reaching my door with an almost reverent amount of solace.

I quickly stripped out of my "clothes," if they could really be called that, and into my pajamas. I turned out the lights and flopped on my bed, asleep before my head hit the pillow.

And then proceeded to have the strangest dream of my life.

_It's foggy now, nothing is in focus. I'm outside, it's cold and I wind my scarf tighter around my neck. I'm heading to the center of campus... why? Instinctively, I know where to go, a tiny statue marks a point for me to stop._

_And, as if he'd teleported there, Jacob appears out of thin air in front of me._

I turned uneasily in my sleep.

_We exchange words; he nods and I follow suit. What has been said?_

_The words appear as if written on paper in my mind: _I think we need to break up.

_The decision seems mutual, he walks away after a departing hug, and with each step he takes his form seems to fade until he's completely invisible._

_I turn, not at all saddened by this turn of events, and suddenly I'm in my hall. Once more, acting on instinct, I walk up to the sixth floor. No part of me wants to go downstairs to my own room. Why?_

_I knock. Once...twice...three times. The door opens. Edward is waiting._

_Slowly, without inhibition, we come closer. His warm, calloused hands grasp my face, as my pale, delicate hands rest on his shoulder. Edward leans down, his face coming closer. I stretch on my tip-toes, anxious for what is about to happen. I know, without a doubt, what needs to happen next._

_And, like perfection, his lips meet mine._

I flew up from my pillow, gaspingand drenched in sweat. It was already morning, somehow. Looking around for a moment to orient myself, I sighed and flopped back down. Thank God today is a Saturday.

I ran my hand through my damp hair, shifting so I was facing my window and tried to make sense of the dream that was still clear as day in my mind. It was a sign, no doubt. My brain was talking to me at the only time when I couldn't shut it up.

I'd broken up with Jake. And I wasn't sad about it. The message was crystal clear, but irrationally, I still wanted to ignore it.

I took a deep breath and gulped down my apprehension. Why was I so worried? I hadn't made my mind up about anything yet.

I knew that wasn't true, though. It was, and no matter how much this would hurt, I had to do it.

I had to break up with Jacob.

EPOV

I trudged up the stairs, my mind thick with sleep deprivation. My mind registers that there were, in fact, many people blocking my way as they stumbled around, eyes closed because they were so "in love" that they were drunkenly passionate.

Give me a break.

I did a double take, stopping in my tracks. When had I become so cynical? It must be the hour, I deduced.

I reached my room shortly after, stripping down to my boxers and turning off the light, the moon through my window guiding my way to my bed. I crawled in and was soon fast asleep.

That night, oddly enough, I dreamt.

_There is a feeling building in my chest, I cannot determine what it is. It's there, rising and rising until it bursts and spreads through all my body. Happiness like no other. Why?_

_I notice what I am doing as I notice Bella's sweet smelling hair knotted in my hands. I am kissing her, I realize with jubilance. How is this happening?_

_Her sweet voice floats up to my ears as if she was reading my thoughts. "I broke up with him."_

"_For me?" I ask stupidly. She nods and brings her lips to mine again, smiling along with me._

"_I love you, Bella," I whisper._

"_I love you, too," she replies, though she is fading now. Why, why is she no longer wrapped in my arms? I look around frantically and notice that the room is swirling around me, about to suck me in and--_

My eyes shot open, and I noted that I'm panting and covered in sweat. What the hell?

I noticed it was already the next morning, which surprised me greatly. I sat up, my feet touching the cool floor. I raised one hand and brought it to my hair, gripping it so tightly I was sure some strands fell out.

I couldn't decide if that was a dream or nightmare. I'd have to go with nightmare, seeing as my brain decided to mock me, first telling me that I was allowed to kiss Bella because she broke up with Jacob, and then making her disappear. Damn, what was wrong with me?

I inhaled through my mouth. _She likes Jacob, get it through your head, Edward_.

_She likes me, too_. I replied, slightly cocky yet knowing I'd lose this battle. To myself. What an odd concept.

Yet I couldn't get the thought out of my head that something was going to change. Something big. It was a premonition of sorts; hopefully no masked killer was going to murder me tonight.

I sighed. _It was just a dream, Edward. _

"Yeah...just a dream," I mumbled, flopping back down on my bed. "Just a dream."

**AN: Love it? Hate it? Review it! And, a little reminder: If you want updates without ANs, head on over to my profile and click on homepage. That's my blog :)**

**-cullenite21**


	15. Chapter 15

**AN: Look! Lookie here, look what it is! It's the new chapter!! I could write about everything that's happened recently, but all I'll say is that I'm extremely apologetic for the tardiness of this chapter. And don't worry - I won't let it happen again. I pinky swear. I hope you enjoy this chapter because I am in love with it. I strongly recommend listening to **_**A Rush of Blood to The Head **_**by Coldplay, it was basically the soundtrack for this chapter.**

BPOV

The rain pounding, yet again, outside my window was just adding onto my insane state of mind. I was flying off the handle at the smallest things and the constant, increasing speed of the rain was doing no good to help. Each time the water hit the window pane with a seemingly loud _thunk _I could feel my patience thin like I'd popped an Advil. I wanted to rip my hair out.

It had been a tiresome time since I'd had the dream after the Halloween party. My mind was stuck on an extremely bothersome repeat about a range of questions: Why had I had the dream? What the hell did it mean? Should I tell anyone about it? Will something become of it? What happens if Edward finds out? How would he find out, though?

It spiraled as such continually all twenty four hours of the day. So, understandably, I was seriously going out of my mind. It didn't help that I was cooped up studying and hiding out from the rain all the time. I never thought I'd say it, but I _missed_ being outside.

It was now three weeks through November. I had seen Jacob only once since the dream, and I hadn't done anything. Which was kind of bad.

Well.

It was really bad.

If he got onto the idea that I was ignoring him, I'd never see the end of it. He would probably break up with me. Which, I suppose, was what my subconscious had wanted all this time, but I preferred not to think about that. I tried thinking about what I would do if I broke up with Jacob. The entire scene played out as if a movie in my head, and not once did a tear spring to my eye.

It was so obviously clear to me that I wanted to get out of this relationship. So why wasn't I?

It seemed as if my mind was mocking me. _Why won't you break up with him, Bella? Why won't you break up with him? Why? Why? Why?_ It adopted a childish squeal and I very nearly shrieked out of exasperation. My mind was officially a broken record.

My mind made up, I pulled on a light sweater and my rain jacket over it. My rain boots slipped on with ease and I tucked my faded jeans in, _tsk_ing when I realized it had a gaping hole at the ankle. These things were well over four years old and I loved them, but they were starting to tear. I'd have to get new clothes and store these away somewhere.

I patted my pockets, double checking for my wallet and phone, and locked my door on the way out. I treaded lightly down the stairs to the front door and told Alice I'd be back in a few. She looked puzzled but shrugged otherwise, waving as I walked off.

The rain bounced off my jacket and created a cacophony of sound in my secluded hood, like blasting an MP3 player in a cabinet. I ran on and off, trying to get to my desired location as quickly as possible without falling on the slippery grass. It was a good ways away, which gave me time to think about odds and ends.

Christmas was coming up soon - less than a month away. Alice was probably going away, maybe Emmett... and Edward.

It was so odd, the reaction his name brought to my body and mind. It sent my heart tapping an odd sort of jig, while my stomach fluttered and my toes and fingers tingled with warmth. My cheeks stained red at the action of being caught thinking about him while I still had a boyfriend - it almost felt like cheating. I suppose that's why I didn't break up with Jake earlier... had I been ashamed? Bashful at the accusation that I was with someone I just didn't like? Guilty that I was holding him back? It had almost been three months... what if he thought we might get serious? Would I be sad to see him let down?

My mind raced again and the noise of the pounding rain just made it worse. I had to stop to take a few calming breaths. This was something I had to do, both for myself and for him. He shouldn't be chained to me if I wasn't ready to do the same for him.

I thought wryly to myself as I took the few approaching steps to end my walk. Jake was my... second boyfriend. More like first, seeing as the other one was more of a crush turned three week fling. I'd barely kissed him twice, I thought idly. What was his name? Mark? Didn't matter anyway.

So Jake was the second, and it was already over. We hadn't had five dates, either. I wasn't sure whether the blame for that should have been placed on myself or him - that was how knowledgeable I was at the dating game.

My foot bumped into a rock and I looked up, my eyebrows furrowing as I saw the exact point I'd been heading all this time, without exactly knowing for sure if it'd be there.

The statue, from my dream...existed? It was a bit different in detail, yes, and a tad larger, but other than that...

Wow.

My mind was beyond coherent at that point. I was never one to believe in 'signs from above' or superstitions, but this _had _to mean something. I was quite sure I'd never seen this thing before. I tried to reason with my flying thoughts, trying to calm down - I must have seen it in passing before.

A strong feeling rose in my chest, of rightness and of necessity. My mind was set on dumping him, and dump him I would. I needed to do this for me and stop thinking about other people first.

My epiphany was glorious - and most definitely right. I could feel it to the core of my bones.

With a proud smile on my face, I raised my foot and was about to squish it with extreme determination and finality, sure that this could be a moment to tell grandchildren about.

One inch from the ground, my phone buzzed in my pocket. What was going to be an amazing footfall really just ended in me squishing some mud on my jeans out of surprise.

I yanked my cell out angrily - why had I brought this thing with me again? It was a text from Alice.

**Where the hell are you? You've been gone for two and a half hours!!**

I raised my eyebrows in shock, blinking a few times to make sure I'd read right. I supposed being cooped up for a few weeks makes you lose track of time altogether. I thumbed a quick reply, mentally sighing - my excursion to go break up with Jacob would have to be put on hold.

**Sorry - didn't realize. Heading home now.**

Pocketing the mobile, I walked quickly back, realizing that, in fact, the sky was noticeably darker and the rain beginning to chill me through even more. Before I even reached the halfway mark back home, I was downright freezing and it was extremely dark. I ran back the entire way, trying to not trip as I warmed up my blood temperature and speeded up the processes of getting to a shower.

When I got to the front door, Alice may as well have been holding a machete for the way her face made her look. In any other circumstance it would have been hilarious, but today I knew it was meant for me, which made it extremely scary. I braced myself as I turned my key in the lock and squished my way inside.

The door wasn't completely closed before she jumped at me, scolding the hell out of my actions.

"Not even an explanation, Bella, just 'Oh, I'll be going out,' and you _know _that isn't like you! Had me worried sick, I was about to send out Emmett to look for you but thank _god _ you had your phone! If you do that one more time I _will _personally _hunt you down_ and..." she stopped midway, her breathing labored and her eyes scared.

Without any warning, she launched herself at me and hugged me like I'd been gone ten years. I hugged her back, trying to calm her.

"I'm sorry, Alice," I said, watching with horror as she wiped a quick tear from her eyes. "I feel horrible for scaring you."

"What were you even _doing _anyway?" she asked in a muffled voice.

"I just needed to think about some things for a bit, get out of the dorm and breathe fresh air..." I trailed off, seeing her intimidatingly skeptical eyes.

"I need a shower," I finished lamely. "I'll talk about it later, okay?"

She bit her lip, I could feel her resistance, her want to talk about everything, but right now what I really needed was a shower before I got hypothermia. I hugged her once again, promising I wouldn't escape out of my window. She cracked a smile and patted my back before shooing me upstairs.

***

Almost two more weeks had passed already without me going over to Jake's to dump him, which was frickin' ridiculous. Schoolwork was piling up, but that was no excuse. I had to assert myself. It was starting to tear away at my nerves, making me more anxious and jumpy. Everyone was starting to notice and I needed to get this done with as soon as possible.

On the two week mark I decided it needed to be done then and there. Without use of a telephone, either. I wasn't _that _bitchy.

So, after telling a hyperactive and paranoid Alice _exactly _where I was going and for how long I'd be gone, she let me go and I began my walk with the air of finality and pride I somehow managed to conjure up again.

About three quarters of the way there, though, I began to panic. How would I break it evenly and still using tact? How had I not _thought _of this before?! I had to stop in the slushy ground every now and then, my jeans thoroughly soaked through by the four inches of snow that had appeared overnight. It was beautiful before you stepped in it and felt it slide down your back and shoes...

I should phrase it bluntly, I thought to myself. It would be easiest that way. _Jake, I'm not in a position that I'm happy with when I'm with you... _No. Too harsh. _Jacob, I'm breaking up with you. _Jeesh, what a way to say hello! _Jacob, I think it would be best if we didn't see each other anymore. _Yeah. Yeah that works. Great timing, too, seeing as I was at his hall already. His lights were on, as were many. Was he studying for finals? Oh, maybe this wasn't a good ide-

No. It was going to happen and it was going to happen now.

I called him and saw a shadowed figure jump a bit before his voice filtered through my phone.

"Hello?" he asked, uneasily if you asked my opinion on it.

"Jake? Hey, I'm outside, can you come down real quick?" I wasn't sure if I'd said the words, they passed out of my memory as soon as I said them.

"Uhm...yeah," he answered distractedly. "I'll be right down there." The phone line cut abruptly and instantly my nerves began to increase tenfold. My foot tapped through the packed snow and somehow, even though my clothes were just barely keeping me warm, I was uncomfortably hot. I knew it was all nervous anticipation, but a small part of my mind was warning me against what I was about to do.

The light obviously coming from his room shut off, wiping the glare from his window. As it was still relatively early in the day, I could see just fine into his dorm. His muscular silhouette, the one I'd first judged him on, grabbed a jacket from a nearby stand and... handed it to someone.

Wait... what?

My mind froze mid-way in my constant racing of thought. It was nice for a moment to enjoy the silence, until I tried to think again and I couldn't. My head could simply not wrap around any thoughts of realization of what this could possibly mean. I tried again to start up my mind, but it seemed that the engine was dead.

Barely a second had passed, my eyes were glued to the window to see what would happen next.

A stage whisper. High, shrilly, feminine laughter reached my ears. A warm hug.

A kiss.

Without seeing anything else my feet instantly backtracked before I turned and raced off, unable to think of anything else beyond getting myself away from his hall. After ten minutes of just walking and turning onto random sidewalks on campus, I pulled myself together enough to stop and think of only the basic, vital question. Where was I?

But, unfortunately, opening my mind up even just a crack allowed other questions to seep in. Who had that been? What had they been doing? How long had this been going on? _Was I the other woman_?

I had to crouch down and control my breathing. Slowly, I stood up, wary to keep my mind distracted. I had to know where I was before I got even more lost. I'd never seen this part of campus before, so I needed to get my bearings. A few passing students, wrapped tightly in winter coats far superior to my old sweater, were walking hurriedly to their dorms with steaming mugs of tea in front of them. I walked quickly over to one of them, an extremely tall senior from the look of it. I had to nearly jog to keep up with his long strides.

"Um, I was wondering, could you tell me how far away I am from hall 103?" I had to look up and project my voice so I could be heard over the strong wind.

"Ha! About an hour or so's walk, love. You'd better get to it - there's a snow storm coming up within the hour."

My mind went ablaze again, thankfully, so I was distracted from all other thoughts and able to function again. I thanked him and whipped out my cell to call Alice.

"Bella?" she answered, her normal, perky self. "What's up?"

"Alice," I said, "I'm kind of lost."

"_Lost_? Wha- How did you get lost?" She was more alert now.

I hesitated. Answering her question would require a lot of background story that I wasn't sure I could handle now. "Um... I took a few wrong turns coming back from Jake's hall," I answered vaguely. I could practically feel her skepticism coming out in waves from the phone, but I ignored it.

"Well, I'll send Emmett over to get you. What's the closest landmark or hall you see?"

"Um... I think I'm near 460."

"_Four sixty_? Jesus, Bella!" she cried. "Emmett's going over now. Stay put and keep warm and _don't let strangers give you candy_!" she joked. I appreciated her effort to keep my spirit warm but it wasn't working after what I'd seen earlier.

"Yes, mother. I'll see you soon," I promised. We said our goodbyes and hung up.

It would take Em at least half an hour to get here, so I had all that time to my thoughts.

Yay.

I knew I'd have to face it sooner or later. I could barely think it, let alone say it aloud. It was like ripping off a band-aid though - if I didn't do it now, when? I took a deep breath, steeling myself for the indubitably crushing wave of emotion that would be the consequence of catching up with reality.

_What I just saw was Jacob chea-_

I gulped, unable to finish the thought. I tried again. _Jacob cheat... _

A third try. _Jacob cheating on me._

It was like mental word vomit. It had to be spit out and once it had, I felt much better. I thought it again, feeling the sadness and anger beginning to combine and rise. _Jacob cheating on me. Jacob cheating on me. Jacob cheating on me. Jacob cheating on me._

As they say, there can be too much of a good thing. Once the anger cooled down, I was aware of a wetness on my cheeks. I'd been crying.

Why? I shouldn't care - I was going to dump him anyway. It shouldn't have mattered if he was...with someone else. I was practically obsessing about doing the same with Edward.

The thought brought me up short. I'd never really admitted that to myself before, but it wasn't like it was a lie. I'd thought about dating him before... before the night I met Jacob.

Oh, boy. This was one big love triangle. Without the love.

***

Another week had passed by. I still hadn't confronted Jacob. I was so scared to actually remember, to really acknowledge what had happened. Why, though, was it taking me this much time? Why was I hanging on like this? I wasn't being independent - I was doing the exact thing I'd promised myself I'd never do.

It was December now. Alice had confirmed with Esme and Carlisle that she was going home for Christmas with Emmett. Along with Jasper and Rosalie. I wondered how that would go down. Both couples had barely been dating for a month. I was curious as to the deep connection they must have felt for each other. I was happy for all four of them, regardless.

As I was doing my homework the next evening, I reached in my bag for a pen when I realized that maybe I wasn't so alone in this. Of course, I'd known that there must have been thousands of people who had been cheated on within the past month, even. But on this campus, being a freshman especially, it was impossible to know if I was correct in assuming that people here had gone through the same thing.

After all, had I not been warned about this by someone?

The next morning came quickly, which I was pleased about. It was a Saturday, so I was free to head out to do whatever. In this case, I would have to head over to the place I'd most likely find her. I buttoned up my coat and slipped on my boots, locking my door on the way out. After having Jasper relay where I was going to Alice, because she was still on severe lockdown mode, I set out in the direction of the coffee shop. The frosty air bit at my nose, nibbling until it became so irritated that my nose shined bright red. I felt like Rudolph.

The door rang as I entered the already toasty, inviting shop. The warm hues of red and brown blended beautifully with the early morning sun. One of the baristas I wasn't familiar with greeted me as I sat down, looking into the handful of students that were there. I spotted the familiar glasses and walked a few feet up to her.

"Bella!" Angela addressed me cheerily.

"Hi," I smiled. Pulling up a chair, I sat next to her. We chatted a bit about trivial things before, with no warning, I delved into my tale. It came out tumbling and barreling off of my tongue - with no one having heard what was on my mind all week, releasing all of the emotion was such a privilege.

After I concluded, she sat there looking ahead, obviously thinking.

"Well. You know what you have to do, right?"

I groaned. This was exactly what I had expected.

"Ang, of course I know. But I don't know _how._"

She tilted her head and pursed her lips, looking away in thought. "Well," she spoke after a moment, "I suppose the best way is confrontation. But that's not fun. Embarrassment was the tactic my cousin used. I suppose it'd work now, too. All you have to do is sandwich him between _her_ and you...and you _could_ get a crowd, but it's optional," she chortled.

Hmmmm. Sandwich him between her and I. It actually sounded like it would work. I just had to find out who she was.

***

"Four sixty residents include: Rebecca Walters, Harris Ray, Brad Johnson, Jenna Yael, Timothy Moscor, and Gina Scott," the DA droned.

"Jenna, Rebecca, or Gina," I whispered, palm over the receiver, to Angela. We were currently trying to find out who had been with Jacob, and we were starting with his hall number, as it seemed most likely.

"Ummm... try Rebecca?" Angela said, her eyebrows furrowing up in a _v_.

"What's Rebecca's room number?" I asked in what I hoped was a casual manner. It didn't come out as one, though.

"Number four," came the now wary tone of the other person.

"And...Jenna's?" I asked on a whim. Jake didn't seem like someone who would date a Gina, though one could never be sure.

"Number two," the immature man giggled.

"Thank you," I said curtly, cutting the line promptly.

"Rebecca's is number four and Jenna's is number two."

"So now I'm going to go over with a pretense of a club survey, of course neither of them will belong to it. What did she look like?" Angela asked.

"Well," I bit my lip, my hands fumbled. "She was blond and leggy - almost his height. And she had pink nails!" I said in a spurt of recollection.

"Okay. I'm on it," Angela's visage was nothing short of determined.

"Thanks, Ang. This is a lot to ask for, I know, but - "

"Don't worry about it. Just think of it as... revenge."

***

I woke early the next morning, sensing that I must've been the only one awake at this hour. Maybe Alice, too, but that was probably it. I looked out my window at the sunny December Saturday. The snow dusting the trees and the rooftops was silent and pretty and peaceful. I thanked my internal clock and then set downstairs for some breakfast. The plan was set for today, and I didn't want to handle it on an empty stomach.

As I'd suspected, Alice was flipping through the channels in the lounge TV, munching on a grapefruit and sipping some OJ.

"What's with all the citrus?" I asked, plopping down beside her.

"It's midway through December and already half my class has been wiped out due to a cold or a flu. I do _not _want to be next."

"Good thinking... What are you looking for?" I asked after a moment, observing her obvious quest for a desired channel.

"Saturday morning cartoons, silly! Can't find much, some old stuff on like channel one forty. Tom and Jerry I think."

I nodded, wondering how I hadn't thought of it before. If anyone could appreciate some animated flashing colors and squeaky voices meant to depict comedy, it would be Alice.

"Alice?" I said after another few minutes. "Can I tell you something?"

She turned off the TV and turned herself toward me. "I'm all ears." Clearly she could hear the apprehension in my voice.

"Remember when I got lost?"

She rolled her eyes, clearly biting back a sarcastic comment. "Yes. Why?"

"Um...well, I'd gone to Jake's hall...to break up with him." Her eyes became as big as saucers.

"_No_," she breathed, immersed completely.

"Yeah, and I...um... well I," I breathed in deeply through my nose, "I saw him with someone else." I wasn't sure why I was telling her this now, on the day she was heading home for Christmas. I'd already told one person, but for some reason I felt like I had to confess to Alice as well. After all, she'd been supportive when I needed her on other occasions.

Alice's eyes became impossibly wide and then narrowed into thin slits. "Do you know _who_?" Each word was punctuated.

"No, but I still haven't told him I saw him."

"_What_? You have to! When are you going to, Bella? It's been two weeks! How could you let so much time pass you by? Especially when I'm leaving tonight. Oh my God."

"I know," I replied. "I've got a plan though."

Alice was intrigued. "Oh, really? What's this plan, then?"

"Well, Angela came up with the idea that I should literally 'sandwich' Jake in between me and the other girl," _unless _I'm _the other girl, whereas it would be vice versa_, "and have her see what's going on, and have him see I know."

"Hmm," Alice muttered after a moment. "That will work. I can feel it. I'm glad you're taking action, but this late, Bells? It's not like you..." She trailed off.

I gave a feeble shrug and an unintelligible mumble in response. Alice's foot tapped on the ground for a moment, sending small, thudding vibrations through my feet. After a moment, it seemed she understood.

"Do you mind if I add something simple to it?"

I was instantly wary. "Like...?

"When are you meeting him?" She inquired, ignoring my question.

"Well, Ang is finding the girl today, and once we know who she is we'll set up a date with her, Jake, and I at the bar."

"Can I lend you something, please? I want to help."

I stalled, unsure if I should follow along. Seeing my delay, Alice turned over to me with a reassuring look. "I've broken up with a _lot_ of people, Bells. Just trust me."

*******

It was nearing six thirty. And I was beyond freaking out.

Alice's and Angela's combined plans had my thoughts running haywire. I was overreacting, of course. Worst case scenario, I had it all wrong. I could still meet my goal of breaking up with him. Of course it wouldn't be that bad. Of course it wouldn't be--

Alice burst through my door, scaring the living hell out of me. I yelped, which was embarrassing. And, of course, embarrassment and blushing came hand in hand with my body. I placed one hand over my jumping heart and tried to calm down.

Alice merely raised an eyebrow, rolling her eyes. "I have your clothes," she said slowly, once I was calmed down.

Alice pulled out a glossy bag from behind her and plopped it on my bed. "Et vòila!" she cried enthusiastically, revealing the outfit.

Well, it most certainly could have been worse. It was a simple, black strapless dress with some glossy white pumps. Reaching in her pocket, Alice pulled out a small, silver and red dotted bangle.

"That's not bad," I muttered, unaware of saying something until I felt the sound come out.

"And what does _that_ mean?" Alice asked shrilly. Clearly I'd struck a nerve.

"Nothing, nothing. Anyways, I've gotta change. Angela texted me - her name's Jenny, and she _already_ had plans with Jacob tonight. How she got that out of her, I'll never know."

"When's the date?"

"At seven, at the bar as we'd hoped."

"Okay, slip into that and come out as soon as you're done. I'm going to my room to grab my makeup." She left, closing the door behind her. I grabbed the dress and went into the bathroom, quickly undressing and releasing the dress from the bag. One leg in, I realized I needed tights to ever last five seconds in this outdoors. In my underwear, the room was rather cold, but I stepped out and began to raid my dresser for some footless leggings.

And that was when the door opened.

I first heard the infinitesimal creak when I had grasped the tights in my hand. Passing it off as the wind, I stood up and turned back to get back to the bathroom.

And who else but Mister Edward Cullen could have been standing at the door?

Serendipity would have it no other way. My eyes bulged for one millisecond before I gave a small, shrilly scream, which appeared to wake him out of a stupor. His jade green eyes darted everywhere but my face and finally settled on the floor. He stood awkwardly in the doorway as I frantically tried to cover myself.

"What are you doing?" I cried, fumbling with the leggings.

"I heard a noise..." he mumbled, sounding like he was upset with himself. "I thought you might need help." His ears were ready to compete with my face for a blush championship.

I bit my lip and tried my best to calm down. "That's very nice. Can you please close the door? I'll talk to you in a minute. As you can see, now is not the best time." I had no idea why I just pointed out the fact that I was partially nude, but I did.

"Oh...yeah, sure," he stuttered in a whisper. The door shut and I hurried over to lock it to ensure nothing happened again. I heard heavy breathing on the other side, a muttered cuss and deep inhalation. I swallowed hard. He was just trying to be nice. I ran back to the bathroom to put on the dress and swiftly opened my room door again. I was hopelessly wishing for the chance he might still be there, when I knew he wouldn't be.

Wishful thinking, it seemed to be all I was doing these days.

***

"Bella, you're all doilled up!" Angela laughed as she spoke in a Brooklyn accent. I smiled half-heartedly. The incident with Edward was still fresh in my mind and I hoped he'd still be there when I got back. Emmett, Rose, Jasper, and Alice had already left for the airport and were flying back home for Christmas tonight - we'd said our goodbyes for two weeks. They were coming back for the new year.

The heels of my white shoes echoed sharply around us as we neared the destination. "Are you nervous?" Angela asked kindly. "I'm sure this will all go down perfectly."

I gulped. I was more nervous about what would happen when I got home than what was about to go down. I had just realized it would be Edward and me for two whole weeks. Without classes. Alone.

Fabulous.

I shook my head. "No. I'm just thinking is all."

"Alright, well, we're here, so go get 'em tiger! I'm sure this will all go down perfectly." Angela repeated. "Her name is Jenna and she's a sophomore."

"A cougar," I joked. I shook my head. "I must be the new version, then. Damn."

"It doesn't matter, Bella. Just confront him bluntly and break up with him in a clear manner. I'll be in the back, don't worry." She patted my back soothingly. "Good luck!"

I thanked her and set on my way in. I was going to meet them at the bar at seven fifteen - it was seven ten now. I walked up and ordered a club soda, not wanting to wake up with a pounding head tomorrow. I'd had wine once, at graduation. To put it lightly, I did not tolerate it well. An acquired taste, I suppose.

The door opened and in they walked. She was taller than I'd thought - at least five nine. Her tall figure was bound to be intimidating, but I was determined to hold my ground. Jake's arm was wrapped around her waist when they walked up to a few feet from where I was positioned. He ordered their drinks and after a moment they got to a light form of banter and chatter - the way it was when we'd began dating. Hmm. Something to consider later. Putting the plan into motion was completely a matter of timing, and presently it was now or never. I strolled over, making sure to hand my drink to Angela on my way so I could order another and spend more time sandwiching Jacob. Plopping next to him, looking the other way in the dim bar, I could sense his body go stiff, the change was so tangible.

He was trapped.

I called over the bartender and to do so I had to look to my left, where Jake currently resided. Bingo.

"Jacob!" I cried, sickly sweet and happy. Jenna cocked her head at me, curious.

"Jake, who's she?" Jenna asked suspiciously.

"Hi, Bella," Jake answered me, ignoring Jenna's inquiry. He turned to look fully at me, widening his eyes in a harsh glare and pointing his eyes at Jenna. "I'm a bit _busy_ right now," he said through his teeth, "I'll catch you later, kay?"

I couldn't believe it. He had the nerve to actually dismiss me in front of his other girlfriend and blame it on me? I was about ready to slap him, and if he turned around once more it was undoubtedly going to happen. It was so odd - I was never violent but he made me want to grind up multiple body parts of his.

"No, Jake, please, introduce me," Jenna said, already in on what was going down. Jake looked pale and sweaty in the dark bar. He sighed and dove into what he was getting himself into all along.

"This is Bella, Jenna. Jenna, Bella." I smiled sweetly, playing dumb, as I could tell she was, too.

"Hello," she said brightly. "And how are you related to Jake, here?"

"Psycho ex-girlfriend," he muttered, straining away from me as he spoke to Jenna.

I delivered a very well disguised fake laugh and hugged myself closer to him. "Aww, he's just joking, my little Jakey!" I kissed his cheek multiple times, giggling. He shook his head at Jenna, widening his eyes to make it look like he was wary of me, and mouthed the words _not with her_, with a chopping motion at his neck.

I stared at him in disgust. He was really going to be that low, to lie through his teeth to both of us?

I suddenly stood up from the bar stool, startling him. I burst into an explosion of harsh words. "Yes Jacob. You _wish_ you weren't with me, that's why you're hanging out with little miss blonde here, right? Well, you've got it. Now the table's turned - you're my psycho ex-boyfriend. See you later, lowlife."

His hand met my wrist, grabbing it hard. Before either of us had time to think, I spun myself around, using his firm grip on my wrist to balance me, and I slapped him cold across the face.

Time seemed to slow to a standstill as the sound echoed everywhere, bouncing off of walls, bottles, glasses. The sound recorded itself in my mind and the cacophony of sound wound up and started again as if nothing had ever happened.

His face was beyond priceless - clearly no one had ever confronted him before.

I twisted away from his easy grasp now, storming out without looking back.

***

"I was pretty great, wasn't I?" I chortled along with Angela as we walked back. Her face was red from laughing so much and when she looked up she had tear stains on her cheeks.

"That was amazing! Oh, Bella, I even got it on my phone! Your whole speech, the slap, everything!"

"Was it really that loud?" I asked, embarrassed. My cheeks must have shown my emotion because Angela quickly emended my statement.

"No! It was perfect, Bella, absolutely perfect." We smiled at the memory, which was sure to be on replay in my mind for the week to come. After saying our goodbyes, Angela went inside her hall and I continued onto my own.

The scene replayed over and over and over, and I began to over think it. What would happen now? Would he try to contact me? Would he come to my hall? Would he file a complaint? _Could_ he file a complaint?

I felt my key slide through the lock of my door and the sounds of some TV program in the lounge. I slipped off my heels quietly, carrying them up to my room as my bare feet protested at the cold stairs.

In my room I trod over to the bathroom, got out of the dress that now reeked of cigarettes and beer, release my hair from the intricate bun Alice created, and slip into my most comfortable clothing. My bed had never looked so inviting, but I forwent it, opting instead to sit at my desk, now bathed in moonlight, and just soak up the night's events. In hindsight, I very well could have been more civilized and all those theatrics, no matter how good they felt, were certainly not necessary.

As if to back up my point, my phone sang a little tune, oblivious to my pensive state. I flipped it open automatically, reading the text on the small phone.

**Way to go. You've publicly humiliated yourself. And, FYI: you were the other girl.**

Of course he'd get the last word. Of course he would. And the fact that he told me the piece of information I'd wanted to hear the least just brought it home. I shut the phone with more force than necessary and felt my eyes begin to water and sting.

No matter how much you want it, breaking up always hurts - even a little.

The security of being able to say you've got a boyfriend, you're not interested thanks for asking, is whipped away suddenly, regardless of who decides to end it. The free spirt of being single, once one has gone through three months with someone, is hard to adjust back to.

Clearly, Jacob would have no problem.

The first tear of many splattered on the wood of my desk, followed suit by another, and another that ran down slowly as if to taunt me. I was not in control now; countless hours of sleep-loss, exhaustion, emotional distress, and an overwhelming sense of homesickness flooded me and soon began to physically show itself through the form of tears. I cried and cried, and when I thought it had to be over, it began all over.

There was one cure to this, and it killed me to admit it to myself. No one but Edward was here, and the one thing I needed right now was a huge hug. More tears spilled. If I went running to Edward, I would not only basically make him a rebound, I'd be confirming my previous theory.

_Bella _ dates _Jacob_ to gain _Edward._

Yet there was no other choice. I couldn't go to sleep like this, I'd lie awake for hours and tomorrow would be hell.

Numbly, I felt around for the landline phone, dialed Edward's room.

Two rings. A greeting.

"Edward?" I sniffled. The change of his tone was instantly detectable. It was now filled with tangible concern.

"Bella? It's eleven thirty...what's wrong?" he amended his statement quickly, as if to show that he didn't mind it being so late at night.

"I hate to bother you-"

"You're not bothering me," he interrupted quickly.

I smiled a watery, wry smile through my tears. "Do you mind coming down here?" I asked, choking back a sob. "I...I just need-"

"I'm coming," he said alertly, assuring me he'd be right there before hanging up. I hated myself for playing damsel-in-distress but I really did need to be comforted right now. There are moments when one simply needs to be held, to feel like someone will protect them from the world and that everything will be okay, that once they're held nothing will happen. The person, in this case Edward, would be the only shield I'd ever need.

A knock resounded from my door. I stood up, shuffled over to answer it.

I must have looked like the living dead arisen from hell, because his eyes went wide and he immediately took me into his arms without any need for me to say anything. His soothing hands rubbed up and down my back, a comfort in the dark room.

I was safe from the world for now. Everything would have to wait, time would stand still. Time _did _stand still as we stood there in the doorway, he holding me in his strong arms swaying me slightly to calm me down, whispering solace in my ear and bringing me closer with each shaky breath I took.

For now, Edward was my shield.

**Want an EPOV of this? All you need to do is ask. If majority wins, you may see a small outtake. And sorry this is so long. Couldn't stop myself. It's 13 pages, for those who are wondering...**

**Love it? Hate it? Review it! I love you all in a strictly platonic way. Thanks for being so patient with me,**

**cullenite21**


	16. Chapter 16

**This EPOV runs from the time he walked in on Bella to the end of the previous chapter.**

EPOV

"No, mom, I really can't go home for Christmas, I'm sorry," I hoped this time my mother would understand. I hated to have to repeat such bad news to her.

"What about New Years?" she asked hopefully. I sighed as I answered.

"No. We're having a huge event here."

"Am I interrupting anything, Edward? You sound distracted." That was one thing about my mother that I had always loved and hated. She could detect the most infinitesimal changes in tone, even over a phone thousands of miles away.

"No, I'm just sorry I can't come. But Alice and Emmett an- I mean they're going." I righted my statement before I said anything more. Jasper and Rosalie were to be kept secret, for some reason not told to me. While it was cute, I wasn't sure how my parents would take it. I was sure they'd be supportive, but surprising them like that? At least they had some time before Christmas Day came.

I heard my mother's deep, lingering sigh come from over the earpiece. The sign that said she'd resigned herself to the fact that I simply couldn't come.

"I promise, I'll try my hardest to come home during Spring break," I assured her.

That seemed to put some spark into her. "I'm holding you to that, Mister College Man," she teased. I groaned, but I couldn't help missing her after that. We chatted a bit about much lighter topics before I heard something. A _thump_ of sounds, coming from directly below me, in Bella's room.

And with that tiny thought, I began to worry just a tiny bit. I could feel it growing though, as I began to over analyze what may have happened in that one second, that one small sound. I was being neurotic - of course nothing had happened. I just needed to calm down. I was reasonable. Ignoring it, I told Esme what I'd been doing recently, and everything was going well until she asked me one small question.

"So, any girls I should be aware of?"

_Yes_, my mind replied instantly. I had to bite my tongue to not relay what was instinctive to blurt out. _I really like this girl named Bella. Of course, she's going out with that Jacob, who came to her rescue after I was an ass to her._

I'd accepted that there wasn't much I could do. She was involved already, whether I liked it or not. And it _was _my fault.

Still, I got a bad feeling about him sometimes.

Another sound, louder this time, came from Bella's room again. I couldn't ignore it this time, however crazy that sounded. I said my hurried goodbyes to my mother, with promises that I would call back. Surprised, Esme hastened to gather herself and said goodbye coolly, the way I'd come to recognize, even expect, her demeanor. It was a comforting anchor of sorts. Esme would always see reason and light and hope in everything.

I took the stairs down quickly, trotting lightly down the one floor that separated us. Funny to think about it that way. I stopped right as my hand opened the door a tiny crack, letting the small wind tunnel do the rest.

It was quite obvious that I forgot about a little thing called privacy. And knocking.

Bella was retrieving something from her bureau, and while this would have been fine in other circumstances, the catch was that, here, she had nothing but matching underwear on.

Oh, Jesus. As if things between us weren't awkward enough.

Before I could gather my thoughts enough, she caught me standing there like an imbecile and a little cry escaped her mouth. That snapped me back into action and the first thing I could think of was that I needed to divert my attention away from her figure. This resulted in flashing, rapid movements of my eyes all around her room before they finally decided that the floor would be a nice place to look at for a while.

"What are you doing?" she yelled, trying to cover herself with a stretchy piece of fabric she held.

"I heard a noise..." I trailed off, feeling incredibly childish and stupid. Damn my over imaginative mind. No use leaving the explanation there. "I thought you might need help." I could feel my ears charging with heat. It was quite uncomfortable.

Her teeth took her bottom lip in, biting it nearly to the point of bleeding. Bella inhaled and exhaled slowly, trying to remain reasonable. "That's very nice. Can you please close the door? I'll talk to you in a minute. As you can see, now is not the best time."

I hadn't gotten that far in thinking.

"Oh...yeah, sure," I stuttered idiotically. I didn't feel or recollect closing the door, but it happened because the lock securely clicked into place almost directly after. I heard ragged breathing on the other side, staying in one place. I covered my eyes with my hands, trying to make the image that was burned there go away. Not because I wanted to, but because I had to in respect for her. Mentally, I was kicking myself brutally. I didn't think I could ever lack that much common sense as to not knock.

I stood there for some time, just trying to calm my breath and distract my mind onto other things. Eventually, I turned onto autopilot, delegating my body to do all the necessary actions of survival. Somehow, I ended up on the landing of the first floor, in the lounge, on the couch. No one was around, they were all packing to head home and see my parents. I was suddenly very envious of them, but I wouldn't want to leave Bella behind. Of course, if that situation had arose no doubt would Alice have managed to find another ticket for her. Still, it was easier to just stay behind and not be the fifth wheel.

I shut my eyes tight, rubbing my forehead with one hand. Not one chance I had left, absolutely none. I was given more than I deserved, and I blew every single one of them. I didn't want to give up - it wasn't like me in the slightest and I didn't want to give Bella that impression. But after what just happened...

I forced my mind away from the topic. What's done is done. Irritatedly, I flipped on the news, blocking out everything else from my thoughts but the words that were being reported. My fingers traced little patterns between the buttons of the remote during the commercials. When Jasper strolled in, I jumped out of my seat before flopping back down again.

Suspicious was not an accurate enough adjective to describe his features. This behavior was unlike myself, my whole posture was enough to give it away. I straightened up and tried again. "Jasper," I acknowledged him with a nod.

"Edward," he said my name slowly, giving me a sideways glance. "What's up?"

"Not much, you?" I said, too quickly.

"Packing. Have you seen my brown jacket around here?"

"Uh...yeah, it's over there," I pointed. Trying to distract him from my previous behavior I moved the topic elsewhere. "What time does your flight leave?"

"We have to be at the airport in like an hour. It leaves at seven but you know... customs and everything." I glanced at the clock - they were cutting it close. It was already four o' clock.

"Alice will keep everyone organized anyway," Jasper smiled, his eyes sparkling as he spoke of her. The "Big Brother Instinct" sparked a little out of habit, trying to ignite a fire. But I knew him too well to think that his intentions were anything but good. I grinned back at him despite myself.

"I have to go run a few errands anyways, so I think I'll just say goodbye now. Have a good trip," I stood, outstretching my hand. He shook it heartily, thanking me before he jogged out of the room.

I breathed in deeply. The errands excuse was not exactly true, but I did need a breath of fresh air. I would see everyone leaving by the time I got back, anyways. I zipped up my fleece jacket and pulled on my woolen hat. The cool weather outside would be worth it, I placated myself. The reality was contrary to my thoughts, but I forced myself to continue. I wasn't looking where I was going - just staring at my feet and listening to the light drizzle come down. My breath was personified in the frigid air, swirling up away from me, only a shade lighter than the grey sky above me.

Eventually I had to stop, my hands could be shoved in my pockets no further. It was in the single digits outside, with a wind factor bringing it to the negatives. I hadn't really thought the whole 'invigorating mind cleanser' thing through very well. Completely unlike me. It was what her effect on me was. I had to focus on grasping my own mind for myself when she was near.

I trudged back, trying to hurry so as to catch the departure of Alice and the others. As it turned out, I was just there when they were opening the door. I had time for a quick hug or handshake with everyone before I was able to squeeze my way through. Alice made me promise I'd take care of Bella, which Rosalie wholeheartedly backed her up on. They knew something I didn't, I presumed. Their faces suggested more than just friendly concern. Nonetheless, I promised what I would already have done, and then they were gone.

The world was too much of a blur today. After the whole incident with Bella, I hadn't much recollection. It was just like I'd been there, but my mind hadn't. It was staggering, how much one event could change me. It wasn't normal for me, and it was scary. Extremely scary. How could I be affected by someone I barely knew? It was almost to a supernatural extent.

I thought about her, the way her cheeks became rosy if she spoke her thoughts. She'd bite her lip, unintentionally bringing blood to it, which reddened and plumped it better than any lipstick could. Her eyes, alight whenever she spoke, could portray so much emotion it was stunning. Everything she hid was pooling in her eyes, making the beautiful chocolate color melt and swirl into kaleidoscopic patterns.

With a jolt, I looked out the window, startled to see that it was already nighttime. How long had I been here? It was a startle to my internal clock, already drained from the past few days. I trudged up the stairs, already thinking of the book I'd be settling in with for the next few hours. I could hear a few loud blasts of music every now and then; I figured those people would be exhausted tomorrow. Then again, it was officially winter break. A party time to say the least. Professors had been handing out work like it would burn a hole in their briefcase if they didn't. With finals out of the way, the alcohol was in stock like never before.

Tiredly, I unlocked my door and walked over to my bookshelf, turning on necessary lights along the way. My fingers ran themselves along the worn bindings of the various books lined on the bookshelf before finding a suitable novel. Grabbing my reading glasses, I settled in for the night on the couch.

Time always flew when I least wanted it to.

I looked at the clock, started when I saw that it was almost eleven thirty. I'd gotten almost halfway through the book, so it wasn't all that abnormal. What scared me was that all that time had escaped me without my knowledge. I liked knowing what time it was, even if I wasn't going to spend it wisely. Sometimes I let that part of me slip, though, which was healthy every once in awhile I supposed.

I flipped open my cell phone, noting a text from Alice letting me know they'd taken off. They were definitely halfway to their destination. I was still very curious as to how Esme and Carlisle would react. Why Jasper and Rosalie weren't nervous was easy to see. The two couples were set in stone.

I took off my wire rimmed glasses, set them on the table as I rubbed my eyes. My feet hit the cold floor that I traversed to the warmth of my bed. I reached next to me, my finger on the light switch. It was late, I was tired. Ignoring my growling stomach was easy enough.

Ignoring the shrill ring of my phone was not.

I sighed, heaving myself off the bed at the second ring. It was probably Alice, letting me know she'd arrived. That was actually important to hear - otherwise I'd definitely have left it for voicemail. In the dim light, I scrambled for the loud object, remembering just then that it probably would wake Bella. If she was in - I hadn't seen her practically all day. Odd. That was another matter for another time, I decided.

"Hello?" I said, on the verge of grogginess. It didn't pass through in my voice, though.

The voice that answered me was most definitely not the one I had expected.

It was Bella, her voice cracked and muffled. She sniffled before responding. "Edward?" she half-greeted me.

I was much more alert at this point. It was unlike Bella to cry, as I could tell she had been doing. It wasn't that she didn't show emotion at all, but she was strong. It had to be something really big to knock her down like this.

"Bella? It's eleven thirty...what's wrong?" I added quickly. My automatic response was, for some odd reason, to look at the clock and repeat the time. It had to do with a need for something sturdy, I deduced. She was definitely collapsing, which I couldn't deal with very easily. I was making this bigger than it was, though, that much was very evident to my mind. I was overreacting.

"I hate to bother you-" she replied hesitantly. Her voice was still choked, like she was holding back a sob.

"You're not bothering me," I told her, truthfully. I wouldn't have been so anxious were her voice not so thick.

Her next request was different from what I expected. But then again, when did she ever do something I predicted? Bella was such a breath of fresh air to the mind - she never perceived anything the way I did, which didn't make me angry rather than intrigued. It brought a whole new view to my mind.

"Do you mind coming down here? I...I just need-"

I didn't let her finish, as rude as that might have been. I didn't want to make her say what had hurt her so much. I promised her I'd be right up before slapping my phone shut and darting out the door.

Her floor was one below. Not about to have a repeat of this afternoon, I took one breath and knocked. Padded footsteps came closer before the knob turned and opened. One look at her and I knew something had gone wrong. She had red rimmed eyes, matted hair that stuck to her face in places. Even her limbs seemed to be dragging themselves.

Not awaiting an explanation, I opened my arms and took her in them. The room was dark, the only illumination coming from her back, the moonlight filtering through the window's confines. Bella was warm, her body leaning on mine as her shoulders heaved up and down with her sobs. I rocked her back and forth, trying to soothe her. Unconsciously, only noticeable once I actually paid attention, I had been bringing her impossibly closer to me. Unable to help myself, I bent my head down and kissed her forehead.

To say that it was a calm environment would have been both a truth and a lie. It was serene because of the simplicity of everything. Our position, the minimal light and distractions. It was hard to ignore the situation's plague, however. The whole reason I was standing there with her was because of some unknown event that had reduced Bella to such a state of sorrow.

I didn't want to even consider bringing it up then, though. Thus, we stood, with each breath she calmed more. I didn't know what else to do but I had the feeling that I really didn't need to do much but be a sense of comfort for someone I cared about.

BPOV

He smelled nice.

It was the first thought that popped into my head once I regained calmness and stopped sobbing so much. His shirt was a little soaked thanks to me, but that didn't wash away what smelled like honey, sweet orange, vanilla, and a hint of cinnamon. Now that I was aware of the fact that I had just sought out Edward for solace, aware that it was _him _that I was clinging to and not Alice or Rosalie, I realized it was much less awkward than it really could have been. Comforted by that knowledge, I slowly let go of him, felt his hands grasp mine as he backed up to look me in the eye. All of it felt very...friendly. I wasn't sure how I felt about that, but it was leaning toward the not-so-positive side.

It was a moment before he spoke. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry to have just appeared out of the blue like that." It was dawning on me that this was not one of my smartest moves. But I couldn't nudge away that feeling that I didn't regret it.

His eyes darted to the side for just a second, returned their jade color to my browns immediately. "You must be tired," Edward said, his voice huskier than normal. "I can..." he didn't finish his sentence, instead opting to point to the door.

I shook my head. "No, no, that's fine," I was really trying not to sound desperate. I thought frantically for a way to put his staying here in a friendly context. "Did you want some...some uh, coffee or anything?"

He tried to hide his smile, but I saw the corners of his mouth twitching. It puzzled me, but I ignored it. Now was not the time to analyze anything, especially when it was so hard to analyze the enigma of Edward. Politely, he declined my offer, but strode to the couch and plopped down.

I looked out the window, directly into the stars and night sky. It was such a nice night out, bright and clear. This window was one of my favorite parts of my dorm. The bay window allowed me to sit down comfortably and lean against the wall. It was so relaxing, such a way to relieve stress. I sat down, my cheek against the cold window pane.

This was definitely not what I'd had in mind when I'd called him. We were on opposite sides of the room now. He'd probably dozed off already. I gazed off into the endless stars. This was all getting so out of hand. None of it was necessary, and yet, here I was: confused and exhausted.

I could eliminate one of those if I just went to sleep. Simple enough, and all I really wanted to at that point. I tiptoed across the floor, taking care to be silent at all the creaks. I hopped into my bed, instantly relaxed when I covered the thick duvet over my shoulders.

After that, in that period between sleep and consciousness, I heard footsteps come near and then back away again. In my dazed state, I didn't realize it was Edward until I don't know when. I didn't hear him leave though. Odd, but I was already too far asleep to think anything of it.

I didn't sleep well.

My sleep was full of spinning colors, shapes of all sorts. Universes I was sure did not exist provided the background for metaphorical nightmares. Voices floated, never personified. It was scary, never-ending. I fell and fell and fell throughout my entire sleep, never landing. Jake's texts were voiced aloud, menacing and growling.

And, like with any nightmare, I screamed.

"Bella," his voice pervaded through my sleeping form. It was anxious, unsure. "Bella, wake up." He tentatively shook my shoulder a little. A small, electric tingle, stemmed from his hand.

I shot up, sitting ramrod straight on my bed. I felt my face, beads of cold sweat dotted along the back of my forehead and my neck. I was panting, clearly with some sort of effort to wake myself. I looked at him, his green eyes all I could see. Edward was staring at me, concern evident in his wide eyes.

I shook my head, feeling the blood pool in my cheeks. "I'm sorry," I croaked, my voice thick. Now that consciousness was beginning to seep back in, I could figure out I'd awakened him. Had my screams really been as loud as to pierce through the one floor distance? I looked instinctively under his eyes for any signs of a lack of sleep. Nothing I could see, but then again there wasn't much light out at all. My best guess was that it was around two in the morning. It was always very surreal when nightmares seemed to last five minutes, and in reality it wasn't so.

"Don't apologize," he whispered, his eyes softening now that he saw I was conscious.

I swallowed, looked outside the window. It was still very dark outside, but the moon was providing light that spilled through my window. I rubbed my eyes, trying to rid them of the sights I'd just been compelled to watch. What bothered me more, however was reason why I had had those nightmares. It wasn't because I was distressed about the break-up...it was because I was totally and completely unsure about how I felt about my actions around Edward. I had called him for comfort, and that had completely backfired.

I sighed loudly, shifting to a more comfortable sitting position. Edward was half sitting on the edge of my bed, like he was ready to move. I was completely exhausted, drained from the nightmare and the previous day's events. The silent room, save for Edward's steady breath, was brightened by the moonlight. Eventually, in the quiet stillness of the moment, I fell asleep.

The first thing I smelled when I awoke was coffee. Good, strong coffee; the aroma filled my dorm room. Definitely enough to get me out of bed.

Except that there was no need for that, as a steaming cup had been placed on the small, black wicker table next to my bed. I sat up, my right arm supporting me. Pushing the hair out of my face, I grabbed the mug and took a sip, savoring the wonderful taste in my mouth. The warm liquid heated my throat, just enough that it wouldn't burn, but simply keep me snug.

As I continued to slowly enjoy the coffee, I realized that Edward was the only one that could have made it. As if he wasn't sweet enough already, coming down to comfort me last night. Where was he now?

As if he could hear my thoughts, the door opened stealthily - no doubt to not wake me.

"Oh," he said when he saw me sitting up. "Good morning."

"Morning," I replied. "Thanks for the coffee."

"I figured we'd both need it."

"I agree. Sorry about...what happened," I finished lamely, already feeling the burn in my cheeks. Would I always be embarrassed about what had happened?

"Bella, I already told you there's no need to apologize. It happens," he half grinned. "Alice called," he added, completely switching topics. "Esme met Jasper and Rosalie."

"And how did that go?" I asked, genuinely interested.

"She said that it went as well as could be expected. Esme was happy to see them both, then she kind of did a double take and hugged Jasper and Rosalie, too."

I smiled. "What did she say?"

"Well, apparently she was mad for about two second before 'talking only with them,'" he quoted his sister. "Alice sounded more aggravated than Esme did, to be quite honest."

"And your father?"

"Oh, no one was worried about him, for some reason. They're both open-minded. Kind of weird how everyone was freaking out about her reaction. Still, everything went okay so that's over and done with."

"Why didn't you go?" I wondered aloud. Instantly, I could tell that was the wrong thing to say. I wished I could take it back.

But he didn't react as horribly as I thought he would have. "No reason, really. I figured that it was the time for 'meeting the parents,' and I didn't want to interfere." He shrugged. "And you? Why aren't you heading home for Christmas?"

"No reason, really," I quoted him with a grin. "I didn't have much time to figure out the whole trip and everything." I didn't mention that Alice had offered to pay for the entire thing, which was so sweet it had moved me to tears. The whole of the Cullen (and Hale) family was so nice to me it was astounding.

"Anyways," I said, wanting to switch topics. "What is there to do while we're on break?"

"Unless you're into insane parties and intense hangovers, not much. The cold weather vetoes pretty much everything, too. It's basically just schlepping around and being lazy," he pursed his lips. "Doesn't sound too fun, actually."

"When life gives you lemons," I quoted, "make lemonade."

"True. There's a cinema about two miles from campus, and the campus library is always fun. Of course, that requires going out into the cold weather."

I remained quiet for a moment, thinking. "For now," I said finally, "I'm just up for some breakfast."

"Very feasible. Shall we head down to the lounge?"

"Sure," I agreed, hopping out of bead. I found that I was still a little tired, but the caffeine from the coffee was waking me up. As we walked down the halls and staircase, the place was eerily quiet. That would be interesting. I suddenly found myself wishing for noise - not clamor, but just a hum of activity. One of these days, I would have to take Edward up on his offer to catch a movie or something. I didn't think I'd be able to stand the quiet for this long. I didn't mind being alone, so much as that I minded the abnormal silence that came along with everyone being away.

Nothing much happened during the first few hours of the day. I headed back to my room, Edward back to his. The night before was not mentioned again for a while. I whiled away the time by reading and, well, reading. It was amazing how much time one could spend with a good book and not notice. The next time I looked up from my book, it was almost five in the afternoon. No wonder my stomach was growling like a territorial lion.

There wasn't much to eat in my own room beyond an apple, so I hopped up and went downstairs to the lounge. The good thing about only living with one other person, I decided, was that there was a very low chance I'd see him wherever I went. Before, with five others people, it was likely to see someone somewhere. Now, with only two, what would be the odds?

I opened the door, feeling relaxed. That familiar sensation of a vacation was seeping in: the lightened schedule, the freedom of doing whatever. I strolled to the kitchen, whipping up a quick soup and switching on the television. The sun was setting, disappearing into the clouds and allowing the moon to shine. The stars were appearing, dots of light in the sky. I found that watching this was calming, a nice tranquility to ease my day up. Not that I needed it much today, but it would definitely have been nice last night.

Last night.

That was a whirlwind. Starting with Jacob and ending with Edward. It sounded so crude, like I had planned it like that. It was never my intention, and yet it had happened. Sometimes it happens like that - this wasn't the first time something had gone awry for me. But it felt worse when I was dragging others into it.

I shook my head. I didn't want to think about it, especially not now when the only other person around was Edward. I focused myself on the television, trying to hear the words and see the images that were flying around. But my eyes unfocused, my ears refused to listen. I was staring at nothing again, allowing my mind to wander. I didn't realize how much time had passed until the door opened, startling me. I swallowed a bit of my stone cold soup, trying to appear normal.

"Hello," Edward greeted me. He walked into the kitchen, heating a bit of the soup I'd left over. I switched the channel to the news, as before it had been on some infomercial network. The reporters spoke of some world news, then local. I still wasn't listening, but it was something to put up as a pretense.

However, I was way more focused when Edward took a seat next to me.

I felt my senses heighten, my nerve endings tingle. My heart rate increased slightly. Did he feel any of this at all? Sometimes it felt like I was the only one affected by him. I knew that wasn't right, though. Many girls on campus would kill for the chance to be in my position. They'd be affected, too.

I could tell that his would be a very, very long vacation.

***

The first few days passed uneventfully. My schedule began to form: wake up, eat, read, eat, read, eat, watch news, call Alice, read, sleep. While others would have thought it monotonous, it was just right. And sure, some days I'd feel cooped up, but I sure as hell wasn't going to venture out into frigid weather without damn good reason.

As it turned out, that damn good reason came pretty soon. Edward knocked on my door one day, around five days into the vacation, and when I answered his nose was tipped with red, his cheeks flushed and his eyes excited.

"Hi," he greeted me. "I know what I'm about to say will sound extremely crazy, but do you want to come outside?"

"You're right, it does sound extremely crazy," I said, looking at him warily. "Where?"

"Well, I discovered an entryway to the rooftop, and the view is spectacular."

"How long have you been out there?" I asked him, trying to divert the subject. The roof view was marvelous; it had to be. We were situated in one of the best halls on campus.

"Not long, less than ten minutes. But it's cold. I just thought you might want to get out of the dorms, even if for a few minutes," he explained, his eyes not meeting mine. I could tell he felt a little awkward about the whole thing, which may have partly been my fault.

"Yeah, you know that sounds like a great idea. Let me get my coat." I actually was getting tired of sitting in my dorm all day. The bay window was great, but actually going outside was fun sometimes, too. Well, going outside with _Edward_ would be fun. Kind of. The cold factor was still an impediment to my enjoyment.

"Have you talked to Alice recently?" Edward asked as he led me to the rooftop. I didn't know where the entrance was until we started climbing the stairs to his room. He had an entrance to the rooftop there?

"Yeah, just last night. Apparently they all went out for dinner last night. She sent me a picture, they all looked gorgeous. As usual."

"Well, we tend to clean up quite nicely," he chuckled. I didn't know if he meant _we _as in his family and himself, or including me. The latter of which was not exactly truthful without the aid of Alice and Rosalie.

Being a gentleman, he opened the door to his impeccable room for me. The views up from one floor were already beautiful - I could see the tops of some smaller trees up here. I was now very excited for what the rooftop would look like. Silently, he crossed the room, found the entrance door and pulled it down. It was like an attic, the way a ladder pulled down. He led me up the rungs this time, and I gasped.

It was marvelous. The sights from so high above were breathtaking, with the tops of many buildings visible and most of the campus surrounding. It was almost surreal, being up this high. I breathed out, watched my breath curl in the air.

"It's gorgeous," I whispered, as if I spoke any louder it would all disappear.

Edward smiled, walking to the edge of the raised barrier and leaning his elbows on it. "Yes, it really is. Could do with some warmer weather, though," he chuckled.

I walked over to join him. From this view I could see the melting snow, the umbrellas of the few daring students who were traversing the large campus. The few leaves still clinging on to their branches were fluttering in the harsh wind. I shivered, rubbing my hands together for warmth and shoving them in my coat pockets.

We stayed like that, just looking out at the wonderful view. Eventually, and don't ask me how, our elbows slid until they were almost touching. My nerve endings were completely and totally focused on what would happen next. It began to drizzle a little, a sign that heavier rain was approaching. Still, we stayed the way we were.

"It's nice to finally get outdoors," Edward commented.

And that was all it really took.

We began talking about everything and nothing: our classes, the weather. Somehow we even landed on the topic of crying four year olds. Yes, we were an odd two that day, but it was nice. I felt a small wall begin to crack, the slight tension that had unconsciously built between us fade. It would make the future so much easier. He was truly genuine person, someone I would be very happy to know.

The sun was peeking through the clouds, but didn't show itself completely. It was approaching sunset, the rays falling a bit on us. It enhanced everything in sight with a nice glow, a slight shimmer. The rain flew down a bit harder, now actually hard enough to be considered rain. Edward's bronze hair rippled in the wind; he tried in vain to pat it down. I giggled a little bit at his aggravation - no matter what he did he would never be able to smooth down his errant hair. He looked over at me when I did, flashing me a grin.

Our elbows touched.

Sparks flew between them, almost creating an invisible line of electricity. It was like a tingling, growing but not to an uncomfortable degree. I glanced over at him, trapped by his beautiful jade eyes. The color was vibrant, endless. They were darker now, but still clear and easy to read. I wondered if he could read anything in my plain eyes.

He bent his head a little, looking deeply at me. I lifted my head ever so lightly, just to be able to look at him when he was so much taller than I. I tried to process what he was about to do, but my mind simply wouldn't let me. It was too hazy, too in the moment. It wouldn't let me ruin this by over thinking it.

We got closer, closer still. His face was an inch away from mine, his nose about to meet mine. I knew what was going to happen now.

I didn't mind it either.

Because, as I'd had my previous theory, a new one came into play.

Perhaps I'd never even liked Jacob, sure. But would that mean much? He never liked me, either. It was just an awkward relationship that hadn't gone anywhere and had really been a waste of both of our times. No, I hadn't been dating him to gain Edward. He was just a little bump in the road, and vice versa for myself. So would it be so bad if I liked Edward now? No.

It was such a convoluted thought that not even _I _followed it. I tried to make it simpler for myself. I had never liked Jacob. I had always liked Edward. I had dated Jacob, sure, but he was gone now. Out of my life. I might as well have forgotten about him. My intent was never to use him, therefore he really was completely irrelevant.

Not two seconds had passed. My theories were thoughts long forgotten as Edward bent his head, and I lifted mine. It was happening. I just had to focus on what was here and now, in the moment.

**AN: Happy New Years! Thanks for a fantastic year, guys :) You are all amazingly awesome.**

**Review, please.**

**-cullenite21**


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